


Days Revisited

by desperationandgin



Category: Lost
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-04
Updated: 2013-05-04
Packaged: 2017-12-10 08:31:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 61,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/783989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/desperationandgin/pseuds/desperationandgin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Juliet agrees to stay on the island for two weeks with James, and somehow it turns into more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Month One

**Author's Note:**

> This is actually something that I started the month after the series finale. All that I wanted was more James and Juliet. My endeavour then was to write a one sentence fic for every day that they were together, and then let the readers decide which ones they wanted expanded upon. For this reason, the fic starts with Day Six, and there is not always a fic for each day. This went on for 100+ days before my life took a nose dive. However, I wanted to put everything together in one spot. Each separate day will be noted, with about thirty days posted at a time per chapter.
> 
> As an additional note: There is a point when the stories become NC-17.

**Day Six**

Juliet's on one side of the couch and he's on the other, both of them silently reading. It's a comfortable routine they've gotten themselves into every night before bed after Jin and Miles have already turned in. Some nights they read select paragraphs out loud to each other and talk about it, but tonight she's finding it hard to concentrate.  
  
When she turns the page of her book, she realizes she has no idea what's going on because she's been spending most of her time looking at him. She's watching his mouth because he has this habit of reading things to himself silently, moving his lips over the words. He doesn't do it all the time, and she figures that it's either something he really likes that he's reading over again, or something that he's not quite understanding.  
  
Either way it's distracting.  
  
James knows that she's watching him, but he can't figure out why, and he'll be damned if he's going to call her out on it. The only problem is, when she's watching him, he can't watch  _her_.

 

**Day Seven**

Juliet didn’t mind the fact that DHARMA housing put her in the same space as three men. In fact, she was sure that at least for the time being they needed to stick together. It was fine at first, the three of them tiptoeing around each other as they got used to the space. But now? Now she’s losing her patience.  
  
It’s when she reaches into the fridge as she’s making dinner and comes back with an empty carton of milk that she finally snaps. She has no idea that James is watching her as she makes her way to her room. Let them all make their own damn food.  
  
He’s reaching out for her wrist before she can actually slam the door, and he stares at her incredulously. "What the hell’s the matter with you, Sheba?"  
  
"We – no,  _I_  live in a frat house. I’m sick of it."  
  
"Well that ain’t an excuse to go stompin' through the damn house."  
  
"When’s the last time you cooked something or cleaned something up? Or did everyone’s laundry? I work all day too, James."  
  
He stares at her for a minute, and he’s distracted long enough for her to shut the door in his face. "Son of a bitch..." Going back to the kitchen, he figures out what he’ll need to finish the dinner she started, then goes to borrow it from Horace. When he comes back into the house, he looks around and can maybe see Juliet’s point.  
  
Jumpsuits are tossed over the back of the couch, there’s a pair of damn shoes in the middle of the floor, and dishes in the sink. He sighs a little to himself, realizing he and the boys need to have a little chat.

 

**Day Eight**

All three men stare hard at their plates, not quite willing to make eye contact with her. James because of her outburst the night before, and Jin and Miles because they know she's pissed. Well, Jin doesn't quite understand, but he got it when James gestured to Juliet's room, the mess in the living room, and brought a finger across his throat. Juliet was close to killing them all, and none of them doubted she was capable.  
  
"Hey," James finally says, shifting a little in his seat. Miles and Jin look up at him, waiting to see how this is going to go over  _exactly_. "There's a plate in the oven. Figured we'd let you sleep in this mornin' since you're off and all."  
  
She looks over them, silently amused at the lack of any of them giving her shit for getting mad. "That was nice of you, thank you."  
  
Miles finally cracks. "You could clean your hair out of the drain in the shower you know."  
  
Someone kicks him under the table, and it's two guesses as to who, but one isn't right because he can't even understand what's happening.  
  
Juliet turns with a smirk about as dangerous as anything James has ever seen before, and he looks at Miles. "Well it was nice knowin' you, Enos."  
  
She sits down calmly with her breakfast, takes a bite, then looks at Miles. "You clean your stubble out of the sink and we'll talk."  
  
Jin knows her tone well enough to understand that someone just dodged a bullet, and he gets up quickly, muttering something in Korean as he goes. James and Miles stand. "Smart man. Think I'll take his lead," James smirks as Juliet sits in the clean kitchen.   
  
She grins when they're gone and takes a bite of bacon triumphantly.

 

**Day Nine**

He’s leaning so close to her that she can smell the DHARMA issued soap he uses in the shower, and she can’t focus on what he’s saying. Something about pistons and push and lubrication. She’s trying to watch his fingers to distract herself because she has to learn how to do this. But every now and then the breeze shifts _just enough_...  
  
"...And then you call a tow truck because your mechanic never bothered to learn this stuff."  
  
Juliet blinks a little, realizing that what he’s saying isn’t part of the learning, and she smiles sheepishly. "Sorry, I’m paying attention. The pistons draw in air through the intake port..."  
  
James starts talking again, and now his hands are guiding hers so that she can feel what he’s talking about. And he’s saying things like 'power stroke' and 'exploding forces' which isn’t helping the situation.  
  
It’s the first time she realizes she’s got it  _bad_.

 

**Day Eleven**

Juliet knows he's watching her but she doesn't let it distract her from the task at hand. Rhythmic strokes of the brush dipped in red glide over her toenails. She leans forward in concentration, her shirt sliding up her side a bit, and her hair hides a smirk when he shifts in his seat. "Can I help you, James?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"You've been staring at me." She looks up at him to see his reaction. She's not disappointed when he looks a little like a deer in the headlights.  
  
"Guess I'm just wonderin' who you're gettin' all fancy for."  
  
She arches an eyebrow. "Why does it have to be for anyone but me?"  
  
He doesn't have anything to say to that, and she smiles at him innocently. Finally he sighs a little. "Just sayin'. You might give a guy the wrong idea."  
  
This time she's the flustered one but she hides it well.  
  
Maybe she  _wants_  to give a guy the wrong idea.

 

**Day Twelve**

James loses track of Juliet at the new recruit cookout, and it gives him time to think. Little things all week have been making him wonder about her. She's hovering in his space more, touching him more. He's good at pretending like he doesn't notice (hell, he  _was_  a conman once), but it's been hard not to. When he brings it up to Miles, he rolls his eyes and tells him that she's obviously flirting.  
  
 _Flirting_?  
  
Suddenly, Horace is there shaking James out of his thoughts, but his eyes finally find her. She's talking to Amy, her hair moving a little in the breeze. He doesn't mean to get caught staring, but Juliet looks up and they make eye contact. She smiles at him, a real genuine smile, and that one dimple comes out full force. It catches him off guard and he grins back before she tucks a piece of hair behind her ear and turns back to her conversation.  
  
He doesn't know when it happened, but something's different.

 

**Day Fourteen**

She’s already smiling when she hears his familiar footsteps coming closer, and she pushes herself out from under the van at his greeting. "Grease monkey?" She smirks up at him, and notices the brown paper sack in his hand. "Is there something in that bag for me?"  
  
"Now that all depends. Considerin’ you never bring me lunch at the station." He reaches out a hand to help her off of her back, and she pushes her goggles up on her head.  
  
"I never knew you wanted me to." She makes a grab for the bag and he holds it behind his back.  
  
"Not so fast. I want you to know how much hard work went into this. Come on," he says as he leads her to one of the outdoor tables.  
  
She follows him, pulling off her goggles and work gloves completely. Sitting, she waits for his presentation with her chin in her hand.  
  
"First," he drawls somewhat dramatically, "Is this turkey sandwich made from the finest DHARMA poultry meat there is." He’d almost made her ham, before he remembered that she hates ham.  
  
Juliet chuckles a little. "Oh, I bet that was hard work, making the sandwich from scratch."  
  
"And, you got your carrots and your apples. Sliced."  
  
"Oh, well, you know how I like it."  
  
Something runs through his mind at that. She’s flirting. But he isn’t sure if she means to, so he just smirks at her. "Well, I’ve been livin’ with you long enough, I should."  
  
She looks up at him, a genuine small smile on her face. "Thank you, James."  
  
He steals one of her carrots before standing. Without thinking about it, she lets her fingers brush against his arm as he gets up. It strikes her that he didn’t have to do this, but he went through the trouble of making her lunch the exact way she always does, down to the apple slices. A bigger smile makes her duck her head, and she doesn’t even realize that he’s been watching, waiting for that reaction from a few feet away.

 

**Day Fifteen**

She’s writing something, sitting on the couch with her legs tucked up and the notebook on her thighs. She does this every night just before picking up her book. James flops down on the other end of the couch and looks at her until she finally murmurs something. "Can I help you?"  
  
He puts on his glasses, opening  _Lord of the Flies_  (ironic, he knows) and shaking his head. "Nope, just mindin’ my own business."  
  
"Good."  
  
He’s aware after ten minutes that he’s read the same sentence over and over again, and she’s still writing, never pausing for a break.  
  
"You’re staring again," Juliet finally looks up at him pointedly.  
  
"What the hell are you writing?" He can’t help it, he has to know.  
  
She’s quiet, her eyes moving over him, deciding if she can trust him with this vulnerability she has. "Letters."  
  
He snorts. "Well, that clears it up."  
  
"To my sister."  
  
His smirk leaves his face immediately, and he wants to reach out to tell her it’ll all be okay one day, but instead he just nods and lets her get back to it.   
  
He feels like an ass.

 

**Day Sixteen**

Jin blinks a little in surprise as Juliet stands. "Good job today, Jin." Her smile isn’t genuine, he knows. He tries again.  
  
"Jim. Likes you."  
  
She stares at him for a few seconds. "How do you know?"  
  
He understands 'you' and the look of confusion on her face, so he shrugs a little. "We talk. He talks. Understand enough."  
  
Juliet’s a little shocked at this information. He talks about her?  _Of course_  he talks about her to the person he thinks can’t understand a word he’s saying. Suddenly she’s laughing, pressing her face into her hand. "Thank you, Jin."  
  
The question was...what did she do now?

 

**Day Seventeen**

Juliet’s starting to realize that James stares at her when he thinks she doesn’t notice. She usually does, and sometimes she calls him out on it, but most of the time she says nothing. Tonight isn’t going to be a night she lets it go.  
  
"James?" There’s a little grin playing on her lips because she’s had more than a couple of beers and now she’s feeling bold.  
  
He looks at her, a little worried  _because_  of that grin and he takes a sip of his drink. "Yeah?"  
  
"Did you have something you wanted to say?"  
  
He leans back on his elbows against the steps of the porch. "Kinda do, actually. Have a question for you."  
  
"Then I have an answer," she responds coolly.  
  
He likes that and smirks a little into his beer bottle as he takes another swallow before looking over at her. "Why’d you stay?"  
  
She knew this would come up eventually, and she sighs a little, drawing her knees up to rest her arms on them. "Because you were right. There’s nothing off of this island for me."  
  
He doesn’t know what he expected her to say, so he lets her silence linger for a minute before speaking again. "Well. You coulda left. Hell, you still could. Go off and invest in Microsoft or somethin’."  
  
Juliet laughs at that, smiling widely. "Is that your plan eventually?"  
  
"Hell yeah it is. Gonna live in the most damn land locked state there is with my millions."  
  
She knocks her beer bottle with his. "Sounds like a plan, James. Sounds like a great plan."  
  
She needs a plan.

 

**Day Eighteen**

Juliet stands there, watching him eating  _her_  ice cream. "James?"   
  
He pauses with the spoon halfway between the carton and his mouth. "Oops."   
  
She rolls her eyes and digs a spoon out of the drawer before sitting next to him. "Did the ice cream fall out of the freezer and drag you out here from your bedroom?" There’s a smirk playing on her face as she takes a bite.   
  
"Didn’t think you’d mind, considerin’ you drank my last beer the other day."  
  
"Oh, so this is revenge?"   
  
"Not anymore since I didn’t finish the whole thing."   
  
She smiles around her spoon as she takes another bite. "It hasn’t been this hot on the island in a long time. Or maybe we’re just spoiled now that we have four walls and an air conditioner."  
  
"You gettin’ soft? We could always take a field trip out to the jungle. Maybe do a little runnin’, gather some mangoes."  
  
He’s making her smile a lot, and this is no exception as she actually laughs a little. "Don’t even think like that, James. I like my four walls."   
  
He finally looks at more than just her eyes and realizes she’s wearing a tank top and those skimpy DHARMA shorts. He shakes his head and takes a bite of the ice cream.   
  
She’s very aware that he’s only wearing boxers and she clears her throat. "I’m surprised Miles isn’t out here complaining about the heat."   
  
James snorts. "He ain’t even here. Spending the night with Lisa or Leslie, or...hell, I can’t remember her name."   
  
Juliet laughs louder, leaning a little so that her head falls on his shoulder for a second before she pulls it together. "You know this island isn’t very big, he’s going to be the topic of all the gossip."   
  
"You think?"   
  
She nods. "Oh, I know."   
  
That earns her an eyebrow arch, and she realizes that this isn’t something she’d ever thought she’d be discussing with him. And it doesn’t exactly have a happy ending. She’s quiet for a minute, considering the facts of the story. Quiet for so long that he speaks.   
  
"Hey, you don’t have to tell me," he offers.   
  
"No. I will." She takes a bite of the ice cream, remembering a day she ate this same type of ice cream in bed. "I had an affair. On the island before you crashed here. It was...I don’t know what it was," she says honestly.   
  
He stares at her in surprise, forgetting the spoon in his hand for a minute. "You had a what?"   
  
"An affair, James. I slept with a married man."   
  
"Damn. Had no idea you had it in you."   
  
"A girl gets lonely on the island," she says with the barest hint of a smile.   
  
"What happened?"   
  
"You sound like Amy."   
  
He takes a bite of ice cream indignantly. "You started the story, now you gotta finish it."   
  
She looks at him, sighing softly. "Ben happened. He sent Goodwin to the tail section of your plane to pose as one of the survivors. He got found out, and someone killed him."   
  
There’s a lot of silence for a long time. He doesn’t know what to say. She doesn’t want to tell him the full story about Ben. "Anyway. People knew we were sleeping together. His wife knew. I wasn’t very popular."   
  
James puts down his spoon and takes a deep breath. "Well. I ain’t got a lotta room to judge, Blondie. I’m not exactly a saint."   
  
She knows. She’s read his file.   
  
He reaches out and lets his hand rest on her knee for a minute and his hand is warm, the gesture taking her by surprise. "It don’t matter, Juliet. None of it matters, especially now."   
  
Juliet reaches out and wraps her arms around him because she’s surprised at his words and a little touched by them.   
  
It doesn’t matter who she used to be. It only matters who she is now.   
  
Pulling back, she lets her fingers mess up his hair before turning to go back to her room.   
  
It doesn’t  _matter_.

 

**Day Nineteen**

Juliet can hear him taking a shower, then brushing his teeth. She knows when he’s in his room getting dressed, and she rolls over onto her stomach to listen to him trying to be as quiet as possible so that he doesn’t wake anyone else. It’s his turn for the early shift which means that he’s the only one up. Or so he thinks.  
  
They were up late the night before, and while she listens to him finally getting something together for himself for breakfast, she wonders what he thinks now that she’s told him a little bit more about herself. He’d reassured her, she’d hugged him, and that was it. Only the hug was with a shirtless version of him and she can’t quite get it out of her head. Had she lingered too long? Maybe she’d lingered.  
  
She finally hears him in the pantry taking what she assumes is her last DHARMA granola bar, but she doesn’t care. That won’t be enough to hold him until dinner since he never seems to come home for lunch. (She wonders when she started to notice that sort of thing.) Once he’s gone she gets up and goes about her day off routine until lunch time. That’s when she commits to the idea of packing him a lunch.  
  
Walking down into the security station where James is watching monitors with Miles (who looks a little bleary eyed after his night out), she clears her throat. James turns and waves her in. "Come to watch the news?"  
  
Miles barely suppresses rolling his eyes. "I’m taking my lunch." He decides to leave before he suffocates in the tension.   
  
Juliet watches him make his exit, and she takes his abandoned seat, putting her legs up on the desk in front of them to mimic the way James is sitting. "Brought you something," she says without looking at him, her eyes on the small black and white screens as she hands over his lunch.  
  
"Must be my lucky day," he smirks as he opens the bag and pulls out a sandwich. "Oh, gourmet. And DHARMA 'crisps'. If that ain’t high class, I dunno what is."  
  
Juliet’s grinning now and she looks over at him. "I hope you like it. I hear my sandwich making skills are pretty amazing." She stands to go so that he can enjoy his lunch in peace, but he reaches out to hold onto her wrist.  
  
"Where do you think you’re goin', Blondie? All I got is Miles to talk to and it ain’t exactly stimulatin' conversation. Well, most of the time."  
  
She sits back down, happily surprised that he’s asked her to stay, and steals his chips.

 

**Day Twenty**

Miles looks at James intently in the security room. "Just. Kiss her. Do it before you drive me crazy, LaFleur."  
  
James stares at Miles for a good minute or so before speaking. "What the hell are you talkin' about?"  
  
Miles runs a hand down his face. "She? Likes you. You? Like her. And if you deny it, I swear to God Jim, I'll punch you in the face."  
  
"I'd like to see you try, Rocky."  
  
" _Rocky_  hasn't even been made yet so you can't use it. And, by the way, you didn't deny it."  
  
James stops to think about that, but shakes his head dismissively. "I ain't her type."  
  
"How do you know what her type is?"  
  
"I just know."  
  
"You're assuming, you ass."  
  
James shakes his head. "This conversation is over."  
  
"Why are you getting so upset?" Miles protests. "It's because you like her. You wanna kiss her, LaFleur."  
  
James turns around and starts walking away without saying anything else.  
  
Miles yells after him. "And I'm taking bets!"

 

**Day Twenty-One**

James goes to the kitchen to get his dinner, grabbing a beer from the fridge before sitting down. Glancing over at the couch, he watches the back of her head, every now and then nodding in agreement with whatever she’s reading. He thinks about what Miles said the night before.  
  
He wants to kiss her.  
  
He’s never been this wrapped up in what he should or shouldn’t do when it comes to a woman. He was the con man, the one putting women’s minds at ease and bedding anyone he wanted. He’s never had a problem with it before, so why the hell was a  _kiss_  so damn difficult? He knows the answer even before his mind can finish asking the question.  
  
This isn’t a con. He wants to kiss her because  _he wants to kiss her_. There’s no ulterior motive, nothing to blame this on. It’s just Juliet.

 

**Day Twenty-Two**

"Son of a  _bitch_!" Juliet yells from the living room when she stubs her toe.   
  
Miles calls out innocently from the kitchen. "Jim, is that you?"  
  
She sinks onto the couch as Miles wanders in. "Wow LaFleur, I never knew that under your jumpsuit you were a woman. It explains so much."  
  
Juliet stares daggers at him. "When I can walk again, I’m kicking your ass."  
  
"Further proof that you're James. It wouldn’t be a day if he wasn’t threatening me."  
  
"Miles – "  
  
"Shut up?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"You got it,  _boss_." He wanders out with a smirk, shaking his head.  
  
She closes her eyes when he goes and takes a deep breath. Maybe she has been living with James for too long.

 

**Day Twenty-Three**

Juliet’s still half asleep when she runs into James in the hallway, almost falling. His hands shoot out to catch her, and the sudden adrenaline wakes her up all the way.  
  
"Whoa, Blondie. Sleep walkin’?" He’s in his jumpsuit, only on break during his overnight shift.  
  
She’s trying to answer him, but her brain has finally picked up on where his hands are  _exactly_. His thumbs are grazing bare skin because of the gap between her tank top and shorts.  
  
"Juliet?" He’s looking at her in concern, like maybe something is actually wrong with her. She drags her eyes up to meet his.  
  
"I’m fine. Tired," she mumbles as she pushes away from him and into the bathroom. She leans against the door, willing her heart to stop pounding, and can still feel the pads of his fingers on her stomach. When she finally comes out, she’s surprised to see him leaning against the wall.  
  
He looks at her curiously as she offers a little smile. "Goodnight, James." She walks to her room and closes the door behind her, not falling asleep again until she hears him leave.

 

**Day Twenty-Four**

All day long, James has been wondering about his run in with Juliet in the middle of the night. He regrets signing up for a second shift when he could have spent the day trying to figure her out. As soon as he’s off work and makes his way to their house, he can tell she’s in a good mood, hearing her laughter from the porch. "Evenin’ ladies," he says all Southern charm and drawl, mostly to impress Amy.  
  
"Hello Jim and goodnight to both of you." Amy turns to grab her hat and winks at Juliet. She’s heard about what she’s dubbed the 'Hallway Incident'. "Juliet, call me," she says as she leaves.  
  
"She left in a hurry," James notes with a suspicious look.  
  
Juliet just shrugs. "She’s been here for hours. We shared a couple bottles of wine."  
  
"A couple?"  
  
She grins. "I saved you some."  
  
He sits down next to her on the patio furniture and stretches out. Her feet are pressing against his leg they’re so close, but neither one of them moves. He closes his eyes for a second, tired from working so much, and without thinking about it, one of his hands is on her ankle. His thumb moves over her skin as he drifts a little.  
  
Juliet looks over at him, her heart pounding the same way it did in the hallway. Only this time she’s buzzed from the wine, so she scoots over and lays her head on his shoulder.  
  
He doesn’t move. They don’t say anything, and they sit like that until the sun goes down.

 

**Day Twenty-Five**

She was only going out into the jungle for fresh mangoes. Now as she runs, she realizes that fresh fruit is over-rated. Somehow she’s managed to skirt the edges of the pylons, caught in Hostile territory with no weapon. She doesn’t even realize it until she feels the first drop of rain before the downpour begins.  
  
Juliet knows what sudden rain means. She doesn’t even wait to hear the sound of the smoke monster before she’s running, but it isn’t long before it makes its presence known. It’s been weeks since she’s been this damn afraid; maybe she’s gotten too comfortable, forgetting that this was still out there.  
  
When she can almost see the pylons she trips on a root and loses her breath. Gasping, she pushes herself up and keeps going, realizing too late that she doesn’t know the code for the fence. She has no idea what she’s going to do, but she’ll take ruptured eardrums over getting caught by the smoke any day. She runs through the fence, holding her hands over her ears as she does.  
  
That doesn’t work.  
  
Falling to her knees, she manages to keep her eyes open long enough to watch the monster retreat.

 

**Day Twenty-Six**

James spends the day avoiding being in the same room alone with Juliet. He’d seen her the afternoon before on the monitors in the security station, running right into the middle of the damn pylons, then he’d seen the smoke following her. By the time he got to her the rain had already stopped and she was lying there, not moving. A thousand different things ran through his mind until he saw her chest moving up and down. She was still alive. He picked her up and carried her back to their house, yelling for Phil to cover the rest of his shift and ignoring the people who were trying to figure out what happened.  
  
When she woke up three hours later and explained that she’d gotten turned around in the jungle looking for  _fruit_ , he left.  
  
He hasn’t been home except to get a fresh jumpsuit, and he doesn’t speak to her before leaving again. He has no idea why he’s so damn mad other than she knows better than to just wander off. Claire had just wandered off and they had no idea in hell what happened to her. He reviews the security tape from the previous day, watching her as she falls, and all it does is piss him off even more. After reassuring Horace that it was just a new recruit stupid mistake, James goes home and slams the front door shut behind him.  
  
She’s at the dining room table alone and looks up, not saying anything.  
  
"Look, Juliet. You wanna go out in the jungle, that’s fine. I ain’t stoppin’ you. But you can get a fucking mango from the cafeteria. So next time, come up with a better excuse."  
  
He doesn’t even give her a chance to respond before he’s storming back out.

 

**Day Twenty-Seven**

Juliet knows that James being pissed off at her right now is warranted. She accepts it; it’s her fault. But she had no idea that she would miss him while he gave her the cold shoulder. His outburst the day before let her know that he cared, but he still hasn’t come home to stay.  
  
When he’s not in the house she doesn’t sleep well, so she lies in the dark on her bed wondering when the hell  _that_  happened. Unexpectedly, she hears the front door open, and she tries to remember who has what shift. Jin and Miles are on overnight together. A quick glance at the clock tells her they wouldn’t be home yet for a break. Heavy footsteps that make it halfway through the living room, then stop and turn back let her know it’s James. He’s gone back to take off his boots at the door, just like she always asks.  
  
He goes to his room and closes the door, and she sits up, sitting on the edge of her bed and listening in the dark. When she can’t hear him shuffling around anymore, she gets up and tiptoes to his room, raising her hand to knock. There’s a light filtering out from under the door, and she guesses he’s reading. Rethinking interrupting him, she lets her forehead rest on the frame as she closes her eyes.  
  
She has no idea how to fix this with him. But she hasn’t felt this alone since the freighter blew up. By the time she’s ready to try knocking again, she realizes his light has gone out. Retreating back to her room, she closes her door and tries to sleep.  
  
At least he came home.

 

**Day Twenty-Eight**

James doesn’t move for a while, figuring she thinks she’s being quiet with her crying. He’s not as mad at her anymore but it’s been easier to not talk about what happened than to actually try and have a conversation with her. She only talks to him when she wants to, and he doesn’t see a point in actually trying to get her to say anything she hasn’t made up her mind to tell him.  
  
Still, he figures it’s time to stop being a jackass and make sure she’s alright. Running a hand through his hair, he makes his way to her room after throwing on an undershirt with his boxers. Knocking softly he whispers through the door. "Hey, Juliet. It’s me." And he doesn’t give her a chance to protest or fix herself up before he’s slipping into her room, closing the door behind him. Watching her wipe at her cheeks, he stands there silently for a minute because he hasn’t really thought of a plan beyond this.  
  
"What do you want, James?" she asks, her voice tired and still laced with tears.  
  
He realizes in that moment that he really can’t stand seeing her upset, and he goes to the edge of the bed to sit. He’s never been good at telling anyone how he’s feeling or why his first instinct is to push people away. Eventually he has to try, so he picks his words carefully, thinking them over first.  
  
"I’m sorry I yelled at you," he starts, figuring that sounds as good as anything. "You were layin’ there, and I was all the way in the security station."  
  
Juliet blinks a little at that, looking up at him from her pillow. He keeps going before she can say anything.  
  
"I asked you to stay, and it’s ‘cause I need you out here with me, Blondie. Ain’t another person out here who can get my back the way you got mine." What he wants to say is that he needs her, that he’d be completely screwed without her, but it sounds stupid in his head; he can’t even imagine what it would sound like out loud.  
  
She reaches for him, effectively cutting off his thought process as she pulls him into a hug. His arms wrap around her and he holds onto her tightly for as long as she lets him. He’s surprised when she’s tugging him down beside her and she curls back against his chest. There’s a moment when he’s not sure where to put his hands or what she wants him to do, so he settles for resting one hand on her hip and stretching the other arm out above her head.  
  
"I’m sorry," she says quietly, and he squeezes her gently.  
  
They both know it’s okay.

 

**Day Twenty-Nine**

As soon as he hangs up the phone, Juliet moves back into his side, liking the way she fits against him. The day before was spent like this too, only she slept most of that away after having a couple of restless nights. Now she was awake and could enjoy it, and her fingers moved across his chest. They were both silent, content to simply be in each other’s presence.  
  
Her fingers eventually dragged up his arm and paused at his shoulder. Stroking the scar she found there, she finally spoke curiously. "How did you get this?"  
  
James shifts uncomfortably, sighing a little before answering her question. "Sayid. Decided to pass one of the lonely days after the crash torturin’ me."  
  
Her eyebrows narrow, because she knows about Sayid’s past, what he did, and her fingers keep moving over the scar. "Why?"  
  
"’Cause he thought I had something he needed." He’s not getting into the whole story; he’s not bringing up Kate right now. "I didn’t, but he’s a little trigger happy."  
  
In a move that Juliet’s surprised she’s making, her lips come into contact with the scar for a few seconds before resting her head on his shoulder. Her eyes search his, sharing a soft smile with him before she gives in to the pull of sleep once more.

 

**Day Thirty**

Miles is staring at Jim over his playing cards. "So. Saw you coming out of Juliet’s room this morning."  
  
James doesn’t even flinch. "And?"  
  
"Oh, come on LaFleur. You’re not even gonna tell me what happened?"  
  
"Ain’t nothin’ to tell, Sally."  
  
Jin, meanwhile, is looking back and forth between them, picking up on a few things. "You? Juliet?" He gives his friend a thumbs up.  
  
James rolls his eyes and tosses down his cards. "Look, it ain’t anything like that, okay? She was upset, I talked to her." He gets up to grab a beer from the fridge.  
  
Miles snorts. "Yeah, except that you spent the night in her room, what, you two just talked the entire time? Bullshit."  
  
"Believe it. Nothin’ happened."  
  
"He’s right," comes a voice from behind them all, and Juliet’s standing there in her jumpsuit, having walked in on the tail end of their conversation. She stares hard at Miles. "Nothing happened."  
  
Standing up and putting his hands out in self defense, Miles shakes his head. "Okay, okay. Nothing happened." He’s making his way past Juliet to the front door. Just when he’s finally out, he turns back to yell. "Try to keep it down when it does happen. I’m a light sleeper."  
  
He narrowly avoids a work boot being thrown at his back.


	2. Month Two

**Day Thirty-One**

James has a lot of time to think, seeing as how he’s alone for the night in the security station. He’s putting in more hours, letting Phil head home because hell, if something happens they got walkies. He’s not worried. And he doesn’t want the guy talking to him the entire time. Not when he has his issues with Juliet to figure out. They aren’t really  _issues_  so much as he doesn’t know what he’s doing. With Kate there wasn’t any thinking about it first, none of it really mattered in the end because she had a thing for the Doc. He hadn’t minded being her quickie, but that isn’t what he wants with Juliet.  
  
With Juliet, he’s convinced that he’s way out of his league. She went after guys named Goodwin who probably had twenty years worth of school under their belts. Then again, he can protect her, and he wonders if Goodwin had ever saved her from flaming arrows. It was a safe bet that he hadn’t. He knows it’s pretty irrational to compare himself to a dead guy, but it’s all he has to go by. As far as he can tell, Edmund had been a huge fucking mistake to begin with, but she didn’t talk about him, at least not yet.  
  
The longer his shift goes on, the closer he’s coming to a plan. And by the time he’s walking home he’s decided to set himself a goal.  
  
Kiss her by the end of the week. He has no idea why the idea worries him – it’s a kiss, not a marriage proposal – but he’s been putting it off in case all of the sleeping together in the same bed, and the glances, and the touches means something else completely to her. He’d had free and easy in the past. It was time for something  _real_.

 

**Day Thirty-Two**

Juliet walks into the house after working on a DHARMA van until well past one in the morning. She has no idea what the hell happened to it, but she’s exhausted and ready for a shower and bed immediately. Walking into the house, she’s quiet as she toes off her work boots, but is startled by a snoring form on her couch. Frowning, she tiptoes closer, and the smell of liquor hits her immediately as she takes in Horace, passed out cold.  
  
Shaking her head, she makes her way to her room, only to find the door halfway closed. Pushing it open reveals a passed out Jin sprawled across her bed. "Son of a bitch," she mutters, walking in to shake his shoulder. "Get up. Jin, you’re in the wrong room." The man doesn’t even move, just snores.  
  
Rubbing her forehead, she goes to Jin’s room, guessing that’s where she’ll be sleeping when she sees _Miles_  passed out there. She goes to his room and finds someone she doesn’t know in his bed. Juliet’s almost afraid to peek in on James. She decides to take a shower first, washing away the day and putting on a pair of shorts and a tank top before taking a deep breath and making her way to James’ room.  
  
Opening the door, she finds him asleep with his glasses on, propped up against the headboard. His light is still on and she smiles a little, walking to his side of the bed. Carefully so as not to wake him, she pulls the glasses off of his face and folds them, resting them on top of his book. Then, she walks back around, turning off the light as she goes. Slipping into his bed, she curls onto her side, her back to him. They’ve slept in the same bed together twice this week, but they’d both been awake at the start of it. This was something different and she wasn’t sure why she wasn’t just shoving Jin onto her bedroom floor.  
  
Just as she’s nodding off, she feels him shift, slipping down from his propped up state. She doesn’t move, but she feels him turn onto his side, and before she realizes it, he’s pulling her back against him. Breath catching in her throat, she relaxes against his chest when she realizes he’s still very much asleep. Her last thought before drifting off is that she could get used to this.

 

**Day Thirty-Three**

Juliet is in his bed.  
  
He has no idea how she got there or when she did, but James doesn’t move, not wanting to displace her or wake her up and make her leave. She’s using his left shoulder as a pillow and he can feel her breath falling against his adam’s apple. Her arm is across his stomach, and his arm’s under her, numb from not moving in so long. He doesn’t care and decides he’d rather walk around with a sore arm all damn day than move her.  
  
Moving his head just a little, he looks at the clock and realizes he has to get up soon, but it’s easier to watch her. The longer he watches the better she looks, then he amends that thought. She always looks good, and a part of him wishes he wasn’t too chicken shit to tell her that, but then she’d know how much attention he pays to her. The past couple of times they’ve slept in the same bed, when he knows she’s definitely out of it, he looks at her as much as he wants.  
  
One of his hands moves to her hair, running his fingers through it as he thinks about them, and what this is, and where he wants it to go. He isn’t the guy who gives a shit about date nights or anniversaries. At least he didn’t think he was. But Juliet makes him think about things like that. He knows she’s had shitty luck in the past, though he doesn’t really know the whole story about her ex-husband. Just that he was a dick and James doesn’t want to remind her of that guy in any way. So maybe he can start caring about dates and anniversaries, and cleaning up after himself in the kitchen or folding the laundry once in a while.  
  
He’s surprised by his thoughts until they wander to thinking about kissing her; covering every inch of her face until the mask she tends to hide behind dissolves. But it’s too soon for that. He doesn’t want to scare her off; his first move has to be subtle. Something she won’t reject.  
  
James freezes as Juliet shifts, then sighs in relief when he realizes that she’s just changing positions. She turns over onto her left side, her head still on his arm. Slowly, he turns his body to align himself to her new position. His hand curves around her hip, his knees find her shins, and she shifts again, bringing her feet toward him and against his legs.  
  
Being sentimental isn’t really his thing, but as he looks at her, he decides that he has to figure out a way to make sure she knows that it’s not all about her having his back. She doesn’t treat him like a criminal, isn’t looking to make him feel like he was  _just_  a conman. And that was the problem with Kate. She only expected him to be the man he was, never gave him a chance to be something better. Juliet’s never held any of that against him.  
  
When she shifts again, he moves his hand from her hip to her stomach, trying to keep her from going if she tries to. He feels her laugh a little and one of her hands moves over his, twining their fingers together.  
  
"I’m not going anywhere," she whispers.  
  
He’s at a loss for words; he’s ready for her to say they have to get ready for work and go to her room but she doesn’t, so he tugs her closer. Before he can talk himself out of it, he leans in to nuzzle against the back of her neck, then, deciding to be bold, he presses soft kisses there – not too many, not too few. He can feel her shiver softly and he swallows his doubt.  
  
Without a word, Juliet pulls both of his arms tightly around her, then turns her head ever so slightly to expose more of her pale neck. With more care than he’s ever shown any woman in his adult life, he brushes his nose tentatively against her skin. When she sighs he goes on and gently kisses her pulse point, trailing all the way to her ear. He kisses that too and is rewarded with another subtle sound.  
  
He has no idea what to do now. He didn’t even plan this much. He just wants to hold her, kiss her this way. He knows he should want more, but he thinks that maybe that isn’t for them right now.   
  
So he just keeps holding her.

 

**Day Thirty-Four**

Juliet’s pulled out of her thoughts about the previous morning by a low rumble of thunder. Walking out from under the overhang of the motor pool she glances up at the sky and watches the dark clouds gather. The smell of rain is heavy in the air and she takes a deep breath. Going back to the jeep she’s servicing she starts wrapping up when she hears James behind her.  
  
"Hey, Juliet. Horace is shuttin’ everything down early. This first storm’s supposed to be a bitch."   
  
She turns and looks at him, pulling off her gloves. "Does that mean you, too?"   
  
He gives her an apologetic look. "Course not. Damn head of security decided he’s leavin’ on the next sub with his kid."   
  
She frowns a little and looks out toward the docks. She knows there’s nothing for her off the island, but it’s still strange; foreign to her that people leave freely. She could leave if she wanted to, and she hasn’t. Another loud clap of thunder pulls her out of her thoughts once again, and she looks up at him. There’s something in her eyes that she's not saying, but he gets it and reaches out to thumb at a random smear of oil on her cheek.   
  
"See you tonight, Blondie." It’s a promise and a confirmation that she’s not going anywhere.  
  
She gives James a little smile before walking away, back to the barracks. She turns once to look back at him, waving a little when she finds him staring.

 

**Day Thirty-Five**

James watches her for a minute as she stands in the rain, head tilted up towards the sky. It’s dark and he can barely see her until lightening flashes. One bolt catches her wrapping her arms around herself, and he finally opens the door and calls out just loud enough to be heard over the rain. "Juliet!"  
  
She turns and glances at him, then looks back out into the darkness for a minute before finally making her way up the porch.  
  
"Wait," he says before disappearing into the house. When he comes back it’s with a towel and he tosses it to her. "You’re always yellin’ at me to not make a mess in the house. Back at ya this time."  
  
Juliet gives him a quick flash of a smile as she squeezes the water out of her hair, and she hasn’t said anything to him at all. Her shirt’s clinging to her in all the right places, and he tries valiantly to distract himself. "You got a thing for rain?"  
  
She shrugs a little. "When you aren’t running through it in fear it can be refreshing."  
  
He’s trying to come up with some witty retort when she bends a little to wring out the hems of her shorts. He remembers the promise he made to himself – to kiss her,  _really_  kiss her by the end of the week. He was losing time fast, so it was now or never. Taking a step forward, he doesn’t even give her a chance to realize what’s happening before he reaches out to take her chin in his hand. Her eyes register surprise, and then he’s kissing her softly. Nothing that’s too much, just enough to know that her lips taste like rain and hints of the piece of chocolate cake she’d had before bed. When he pulls back, his thumb moves down her chin as he speaks softly.  
  
"Night, Juliet."  
  
He makes his way back inside to his room, deciding that it’s finally up to her to make the next move.

 

**Day Thirty-Six**

Juliet is avoiding James.  
  
It’s not because the kiss wasn’t good, or waking up two days before to his lips on her neck wasn’t  _damn_  good. She has no idea what she wants, and with her past experience she’s not sure that she’s brave enough to try again. She figures he’d laugh if he knew that the woman who has killed in cold blood was afraid of a relationship. But her parents broke her. Edmund ruined her. Goodwin was simply filling a void and Jack…she’d never been Jack’s. She wonders if she could ever really be James’ in the wake of Kate.  
  
She doesn’t even realize it when the sun has gone down and she’s working by the lights of the garage, not until Horace comes by and makes some comment about her working late. Rolling out from under a van, she glances around and sees that she’s alone, so she closes up and starts the walk back home. She’s still not ready to have that talk, but of course he’s up reading on the couch. She barely glances at him on the way to her room, and once she’s behind the safety of her door she closes her eyes.  
  
She can hear him sigh and get up, walking down the hall. He pauses at her door for just a minute before continuing on to his room. Juliet knows what he expects and she feels slightly guilty. But her heart won’t let her forget the past.

 

**Day Thirty-Seven**

It’s possible that James has messed up. Put too much pressure on her to make a move. But he hadn’t expected her to shut him out completely. She’d spent the whole day before at the motor pool, and when she got home she didn’t even stop to say anything to him. He wasn’t hurt, hell; it wasn’t like he was expecting her to declare her undying affection. But she was avoiding him completely, and that doesn’t sit right with him.  
  
The next morning she avoids him too, so he just goes to work; pulls a double. Does all the extra shit that Horace asks him to, and he tries not to think about Juliet.

 

**Day Thirty-Eight**

When James skips dinner, Juliet knows he’s pissed off. He never skips dinner. Miles and Jin both know that she’s on edge, so their usual dinner banter is missing. Jin has no clue why. Miles has an idea, but he also likes having a bed to sleep in, so he keeps his mouth shut.  
  
After dinner, she busies herself with menial tasks until everyone is in bed, and she waits another hour before going to James’ door. Without knocking she walks in, closing and locking it behind her. They make eye contact – he’s in his bed, book forgotten – and for a few minutes she doesn’t say anything. Somehow he knows not to make jokes.  
  
"I need you to know something." Her voice wavers a bit and he sits up, taking off his glasses so that he can look at her.  
  
"I never wanted this again. I don’t want someone else to try and know me, and then take it all away."  
  
James looks down, somehow feeling like an asshole because he must have done something to make her think he didn’t mean to treat her right.  
  
"I’m not Kate."  
  
His head is up so fast that he loses focus on her for a minute, and he’s so damn stunned that he has no idea what to say.  
  
"If you’re looking for a part of her in me, you won’t find it. I can’t do this if you’re looking for that kind of – "  
  
She’s finally cut off as he stands and walks right up to her, so close that she can feel the heat of his skin.  
  
"This ain’t about her. It’s about you and me. Whatever you’re thinkin’, you can forget it. She don’t matter, Juliet."  
  
She looks up at him, eyes searching his as he tries to plead with her silently that he’s never expected her to be  _Kate_. "I’m not ready for more than this. Not yet."  
  
It’s the word 'yet' that makes him smirk, but he nods his head a little. "Whenever you want. Whatever you want."  
  
The tension lifts a little, and she gives him just a small grin. "Whatever I want?"  
  
"You got it, Blondie."  
  
Looking up at him, she pulls him down into a kiss, sighing softly against his mouth before letting her forehead rest against his. Then she’s tugging him to his bed and curling against him, only this time they’re face to face, and she doesn’t stop kissing him.

 

**Day Thirty-Nine**

It’s just about to storm again, damn rainy season, and he’s jogging back to the house, trying to make it before he gets soaked. Just as he feels the first droplets of rain on the top of his head he’s opening the door and it smells good. Smells amazing actually, and he looks around for her. He finds her slicing bread in the kitchen, though she pauses to look up at him.   
  
"Hey, you," she grins because she knows already. Miles couldn’t avoid her and she’d made him spill what he was supposedly celebrating with a bottle of rum at two in the afternoon.  
  
"What’s cookin’ good lookin’?" he asks, stepping up behind her and putting his hands on her hips. It’s easier since they’ve decided this is  _something_  and he isn’t shy about touching her now.  
  
Juliet smirks and finishes what she’s doing before answering. "Lasagna." Turning in his arms, she wraps her own around his neck. "How was your day?" She can’t wait for him to tell her.  
  
"You know Reggie left, right? With his kid?"  
  
She nods.  
  
"Horace has been lookin’ for a replacement, and he picked me." He’s trying hard not to grin, to wait for her reaction first. He doesn’t have to wait long.  
  
She wraps her arms around his neck tightly, pulling him into a hug, one hand moving to the back of his head. "I’m so proud of you, James."  
  
There are the words he’s waited his whole life to hear; or at least since his momma died. Someone’s proud of him, and it ain’t for the wrong reasons, not anymore.  
  
Pulling back just a little so that she can see his eyes, she smiles again. "So how does it feel to be the head of security?"  
  
Toying with her hair, James smiles back. "Feels pretty damn good."

 

**Day Forty**

She likes that they don't have to talk. They're both comfortable sharing silence, so when he clears his throat and shifts, she knows he has something on his mind. Only he doesn't say it. She waits on him, watching lightening and sipping her beer.  
  
"I got a daughter, Juliet."  
  
His words hang there for a while, and she tries to figure out why that wasn't in his file. A daughter? She should have known that. And it feels strange, knowing so much about him before he ever has the chance to tell her. "A daughter?" It's the least helpful thing she could have said, and she knows it. James confirms her suspicions by looking down at the ground.  
  
"Her name's Clementine. She's four...five, maybe."  
  
"Maybe?"  
  
"Never met her. Didn't even know she existed."  
  
Well, that explained why they - Ben, Richard, whoever - didn't know. She'd never been a part of James' life. "When did you find out about her?"  
  
"I was in jail. Cassidy came to see me."  
  
Juliet knows about her. She's still shocked she didn't know about Clementine.  
  
"Thing is, Juliet. I didn't change. I got outta prison and killed a man."  
  
Duckett. How did she know about a murder that happened before the plane crash, but not his daughter?  
  
"What kinda dad is that?" A dad who kills innocent people.  
  
She has no idea what to say. She should hate that he killed a man, and she does. She wishes he hadn't. But the truth is she's killed men, too. And she'd been responsible for the deaths of a handful of women by proxy for three years. There's nothing she can say that doesn't sound trite to her own ears, so she reaches over to rest her hand on his arm. Then, she slides it down to press their palms together, eventually lacing their fingers. "What do you want to do, James?"  
  
He squeezes her hand, running his thumb over her palm slowly. "I'd never be a good dad. Didn't really have a good example." He's not looking at her, just staring at their hands. "But that don't mean I can't do right by her. Before I jumped outta that helicopter, I told Kate to find Cassidy. Make sure Clementine'll be alright."  
  
Juliet knows she could say that's a sure sign of being a good dad, but she also knows he'd see it as making excuses for him. So, she just squeezes his hand in return. "So, when we get back to the right time, we'll find her. You can tell Cassidy yourself that you want to be more involved."  
  
James finally looks over at her, studying her face. "You sure about that 'we' part? Things out there...Juliet, I ain't exactly head of security back in L.A."  
  
Reaching out, she cradles his face in one hand, thumb brushing across his cheek. "We'll figure it out, James. We always do. Here, out there, it doesn't matter. I got your back."  
  
He manages a smile and pulls her into a hug, pressing his face against her neck. Things go unspoken, but that's okay. He likes that they don’t have to talk.

 

**Day Forty-One**

Rolling over in bed, Juliet’s met with an arm curling around her middle and she snuggles down into the warmth of him. They don’t normally have the luxury of being in bed together during the day because of Miles and Jin, but they’re both working the mid shift so the house is empty. Every now and then, thunder rumbles outside, and the rain is still coming down in sheets. It doesn’t seem like it will ever stop, and she’s hoping the Initiative will be forced to stop all operations soon.  
  
For now though, she’s enjoying this moment and being wrapped up in James while he sleeps. She’s facing him, and she reaches out with a hand to stroke her fingers across his face. In his sleep he looks peaceful, there aren’t any hard edges to his features, and she’s noticed that even when he’s awake, he never looks at her the way he used to. He used to hate her, she knows that and she can’t blame him. She tasered him in the jungle – not a good first impression. So it amazes her that when he looks at her now, the only thing she can see in his reflection is respect. Admiration. There’s something else that she’s not quite sure of, but it makes her heart beat faster.  
  
She knows he’s awake when his thumb starts circling over her hip. His eyes don’t open, so she leans in to kiss the corner of his mouth before she whispers. "You can’t fool me, James."  
  
His smile is all she needs to know that she was right and she leans in to kiss him, tangling up with him again.  
  
She hopes it rains for a while.

 

**Day Forty-Two**

She has no idea how this started. It was something innocent, a kiss on the couch as they settled in to read. The problem was, neither one of them wanted to be passive; they each tried to be the dominant one which resulted in a series of kisses that grew in intensity. She lets him have the first one, but as soon as he breaks it, she doesn't hesitate to have her turn at tasting and exploring. By the third kiss, they're going back and forth and neither one of them wants to be the first to break it off.  
  
Juliet needs to breathe, she can feel her chest tightening, and she knows he does too when his hands clutch at her sides. Neither of them wants to give in. Finally he does, and she takes a deep breath, both of them panting heavily. His eyes land on hers and before she can be smug about holding out he's pulling her against him and it's different this time; his hands are raking through her hair and she sinks against him, remembering what she said about not being ready for this, but she thinks now that maybe she was wrong.  
  
When the front door swings open so hard that it hits the wall, they spring apart and are on opposite sides of the couch so quickly that Miles never has a chance to see them together. He's drenched and cussing at the rain, and James and Juliet are reading, eyes glued to their books.

 

**Day Forty-Three**

Juliet’s walking from the cafeteria back to the motor pool when she sees people running towards the barracks, mothers clutching children’s hands and men firmly closing the doors behind them. She has no idea what’s going on when suddenly the alarms are going off for a Hostile on premises and she covers her ears for a split second. Looking around her, she checks to make sure no one’s watching before making her way toward the direction people are coming from. Crouching by an out building she watches as Richard saunters right into the middle of the barracks, but what the hell was he doing here?  
  
There’s a slight noise behind her and she turns quickly, relaxing when she sees it’s James. “What are you going to do?”  
  
He hands her his rifle. “You got my back?”  
  
She nods and trains it on Richard as James makes his way towards the man.  
  
“Look who’s breaking the contract this time,” he drawls, like this is every day conversation.  
  
Richard stands his ground until James is right in front of him. “One of your people killed two of mine yesterday. I want to know why.”  
  
“My people didn’t kill anyone; maybe you oughta check facts again.”  
  
“You sure? That blond holding the gun seems like she’s killed a couple of people before.” He up nods towards Juliet’s location.  
  
Since she’s caught, she sees no reason to keep crouching, so Juliet stands and makes her way towards them both, positioning herself somewhere between James and Richard.  
  
“Leave her out of this, she didn’t kill no one.”  
  
“She’s the one pointing the gun.”  
  
Glancing at James, Juliet lowers the rifle. “What do you want?” she finally asks.  
  
“Someone killed two of my people, and I intend to find out who it was.”  
  
“Wasn’t anyone here, Maybelline. Ever stop to think someone in your camp ain’t happy?  
  
“That’s not the way we operate.”  
  
James scoffs at that. “Oh it’s  _not_?” He’s about to lose it with these fucking  _Others_ , and he steps forward.  
  
Juliet’s hand is on his arm quickly and she looks up at him, shaking her head slightly before looking back at Richard. “It wasn’t us. Maybe you should be looking for sabotage, Richard. Ask Charles Widmore who shot your men.”  
  
He seems to consider this for a moment, looking back and forth between the two of them. “If I’m not satisfied, I will be back. And I’ll come to take two of your people.” He turns to go and once he’s gone, Juliet and James share a look before she’s following him to help with the incident report.

 

**Day Forty-Four**

The last of the storms have started to push out to sea, and Juliet’s been standing on the dock, watching. Her arms are crossed over her chest and for a few minutes she contemplates the submarine, like it’s something she wonders about often. James has been watching her for a while, and he’s a little worried that she’s thinking about leaving like Faraday did. He’s also wondering how the hell one person can stand still for so long.  
  
After what he figures to be about ten minutes, he makes his way to her, hands in his jumpsuit pockets. “You ain’t thinkin’ about sneakin’ out are you?” His tone is light, but the worry is there on his face when she turns to look at him.  
  
Juliet doesn’t say anything, she simply searches his eyes, and the way she’s looking at him causes even more fear. “I tried to get off of this island for three years, James,” she says pointedly.  
  
“I know.” It’s all he can think to say in response.  
  
She turns back to look at the water, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. “Do you know why I’ve stayed?”  
  
There’s a hundred different things he could say and they all run through his mind.  _For him_  is the answer he wants to hear. But he could swear they had this conversation over beers and he wasn’t the answer.  
  
“I’m happy. For the first time in three years I can honestly say I’m…” And then she’s crying so she stops, glad that her back is to him.  
  
He has no clue what to do, this isn’t his thing; tears aren’t his strong suit. But he moves closer to her anyway, turning her around gently. “Hey. What’s wrong?” He’s frowning slightly, hands holding onto her shoulders.  
  
“Rachel’s birthday. Today’s Rachel’s birthday. She’s six, and she got this stupid doll that my dad thought she asked for, but it was  _me_. So I took it and colored all over it with black markers.”   
  
He gets it. He understands what she’s saying without making her say it, and he just wraps his arms around her.  
  
She’s okay with being on the island. She’s  _happy_  here with him. But she’s finally given up on ever seeing Rachel again, and a part of him feels a little guilty while she cries.

 

**Day Forty-Five**

Juliet has found that if she doesn’t check the pockets of their jumpsuits before she washes them, either a pen will explode and ruin everything, or something will clank around for the entire cycle. So, as she sorts everything, she starts checking. Jin’s reveal nothing; Miles has half of a candy bar in his. Rolling her eyes, she tosses it. No doubt she’ll get a mouthful later, but she doesn’t care enough to try and save it.  
  
Reaching into her own jumpsuit pockets, she already knows what she’ll find: a few loose, smaller car parts and nuts and bolts. She deposits those into a plastic cup she has sitting on the shelf just for this occasion. When it’s full, she'll take it to the motor pool. James’ jumpsuit is last, and her fingers wrap around a piece of paper. That’s not unusual, so she pulls it out to look at it and determine whether it’s something to keep or throw away.  
  
She isn’t expecting to see her name staring back at her. It’s a piece of paper about the size of a post it note and it’s just her first name written in his careful print, not the hurried chicken scratch he usually has to offer. It makes her curious, and she figures the only way to know why he did it is to ask him. Leaving the laundry room, she finds him brushing his teeth in the bathroom, and she leans against the door frame.  
  
When he notices her, he looks her up and down in her shorts and tank top. “Mornin’,” he says over his brushing.  
  
She says nothing, just holds up the note before leaning back with a little smirk and crossing her arms.  
  
When he sees it, he stares at it, then takes his sweet time spitting, rinsing, and using the mouthwash. “Thanks,” he finally says.  
  
“Why is my name written on a piece of paper in your pocket?” Her tone is more amused than anything.  
  
He shifts, trying to come up with something to say, because he figures a lie is going to sound better than the truth in this case or at least less embarrassing. But he takes too long, and now if he lies, she’ll know it. So, he just sighs. “I wrote it during one of my overnight shifts. I missed you.”  
  
The fact that he can’t look her in the eyes, that he seems flustered over getting caught makes Juliet grin and she reaches out for his hand, tugging him closer. “You missed me, huh?”  
  
“Hey, three in the mornin’ is a pretty lonely time,” he says with a half smile. “Especially when your only company is Phil.”  
  
She laughs at that before pulling him into a hug, and her fingers wrap around the note.  
  
She’s keeping it.

 

**Day Forty-Six**

Juliet can’t really believe she agreed to let Amy  _make her over_ , and she’s kind of leaning against the makeshift bar at the new recruit party self-consciously. She’s wearing a light pink peasant top blouse with a white, flowing skirt and her hair is straight, falling down her back except for one small braid that’s clipped. She feels ridiculous, and at least Amy didn’t try to get her into makeup.  
  
When she glances over and sees James staring at her though, she thinks maybe it isn’t so bad and he flashes her a grin from across the room. Before she really knows what’s happening, Kevin the Janitor is tugging at her hand and she’s in the mix of people dancing. She stands there awkwardly at first, and her eyes catch Amy’s who is quickly looking for a way to make this slide back into the right direction. She does the only thing she can think of and quickly bee-lines to James and takes his hand, pulling him onto the dance floor.  
  
As the song segues into something slow,  _When Will I See You Again_ , he looks down at Amy to make a smart ass comment. “Shut up and go cut in,  _Jim_ ,” she says pointedly as she guides them to Juliet and Kevin.  
  
“’Scuse me, ma’am,” James drawls, and he even manages a fake look of apology at Kevin. “Mind if I cut in?” He doesn’t really let Kevin protest before taking Juliet’s hand and giving the other man a look that says he better not think about trying to get Juliet back. But the way she melts against him comfortably sends a clear signal. She sighs a little in contentment, listening to the song.  
  
 _Are we in love or just friends?_  
  
Juliet looks up at James, he’s looking back at her, but they don’t say anything. They just dance.

 

**Day Forty-Seven**

Things get out of hand rather quickly. One minute she’s reaching for something in the pantry, and the next he’s behind her kissing her neck. Her hand’s gripping the box of pasta she pulled to make for dinner as one of his hands unabashedly makes its way around her and under her shirt to press warmly against her skin. Turning in his arms, she pulls him into a kiss and drops the food as he tugs her out of the kitchen. They don’t make it far; he backs her against the fridge and kisses her again but she pulls away to tug at his hand.  
  
Being head of security has advantages, and he’s started scheduling Jin and Miles for the same shifts. That leaves him with Phil most of the time, but hell, it gives him time to be alone with Juliet. When she pulls at his hand he follows her eagerly, but halfway down the hall he pulls her to him again just to kiss her. And he’s already thinking about where this is going, because a lady didn’t just pull you toward her bedroom to keep kissing. Unless that woman was Juliet, and then, he had to admit, that could be exactly what she was doing. She was amazing, but she was a damn mystery to him sometimes, too.  
  
Both of her arms wind around his neck and she lets herself fall back against the wall before grinning against his mouth. She has an idea and without hesitation, guides his hands to support her while she wraps her legs around his hips. The look of shock on his face registers, and he realizes exactly where this is going. His mouth finds hers and they’re so caught up that the sound of the front door opening and closing goes unnoticed by both of them.  
  
Jin forgot his keys, needs them in order to go change the code on the fence and he moves to the hook in the kitchen to get them. He notices the box of pasta on the floor and bends to pick it up when something else catches his attention. He stands and turns down the hallway where he’s met with the sight of James and Juliet. Muttering something in Korean gets Juliet’s attention and she drops away from James quickly, though it takes him a minute to catch up. When he does, he looks in the same direction.  
  
“Son of a bitch…”  
  
Jin, for all that he’s picked up over the weeks, simply raises a thumb and gives his friend an approving nod. “I go. You…” He hasn’t learned the word yet for what he witnessed, so he makes vague gestures before turning to go. Juliet looks at James with wide eyes and he follows Jin out to the porch.  
  
“Hey, hold on.” He has no idea how he’s supposed to get across that it’s a damn secret, but Jin already seems ahead of him.   
  
“Not tell Miles,” he promises, and gives James another nod. “Back to work.” Heading back to the security station, Jin wonders how long they’ve been sneaking around. He also realizes that he knows before Miles, which means that he’s won the bet. But, he promised he wouldn’t tell. Miles, that is.  
  
He’s already trying to put the right words together to tell Horace.

 

**Day Forty-Eight**

Trying to figure out what Jin was telling him had taken the better part of half an hour, but finally Horace understood that he’d made a mistake with housing assignments. It was inconvenient to have to rearrange things, but it didn’t seem right to keep a couple sharing a house with two others. With Reggie and his son gone space opened up, so Horace goes to see LaFleur.  
  
James, meanwhile, doesn’t take well to surprise visits by the hippy. Makes him feel like he’s doin’ something wrong. So when the boss gets down there and brings both index fingers against his lips in thought, it takes everything in James to not just ask what the hell is going on. He’s about to when Horace finally speaks.  
  
“Jin came to see me yesterday evening. He had a slight concern about you and Juliet.”  
  
The surprise registers on James’ face and he’s already thinking of how hard he’s going to punch the Korean. “What about me an’ Juliet?”  
  
“Why didn’t either one of you mention that you’d like a private house?”  
  
James has absolutely no idea what to say for a few solid seconds until he remembers that he  _has_  to say something. “Didn’t seem right. Not after you let us all stay. You ain’t gonna hear anyone complain about the living situation after you’ve been stranded in the damn jungle.” That was the truth, mostly.  
  
The other man nods and turns to go. “Give me a week and we’ll have something else worked out for you.”  
  
Sitting down in his chair, James stares at the black and white screens but has no idea what to say or do. He couldn’t tell Horace  _no_ , that would’ve seemed suspect. But now he was gonna have to explain to Juliet why they were movin’.   
  
He has no idea whether to punch or hug Jin.

 

**Day Forty-Nine**

She’s not paying attention to what she’s doing, that’s her mistake. So, as her arm comes into contact with the hot engine, she cusses mostly because she’s mad at herself for getting distracted. “Son of a  _bitch!_ ” Other choice words fall from her lips, including words that would probably make James blush, but then he’s the reason she’s so damn distracted anyway. She brushes off Kevin when he tries to make sure she’s okay. She wishes he would just take a hint and leave her alone as she makes her way back to the house.  
  
The house that will soon have two less people occupying it and one person very much still there because  _somehow_  Horace was under the impression that she and James were a couple. Which they were, maybe. Possibly.  
  
Hell if she knew.  
  
When she’d told him she wasn’t ready she meant it, but then she’s wrapping her legs around him in a hallway and she can’t blame him for thinking whatever it is he’s thinking. But a house? A _house_? What the hell had Jin told Horace, anyway?  
  
Once she’s inside she goes to the bathroom, sitting on the closed lid of the toilet after grabbing the first aid kit. It’s a little awkward from this angle but she can manage, she always does. She thinks back to that morning and the way he’d really tried to avoid her until she’d cornered him in the kitchen. That’s when he’d told her in a week they’d be living alone, and was she okay with that because he could tell Horace to forget about it.  
  
Was she okay with less of Miles’ terrible innuendo and Jin’s snoring that was so loud it could be heard from any point in the house? Absolutely.  
  
Was she okay with being able to kiss James any time she wanted in any room? Yes.  
  
Was she okay with the fact that once they were alone, there wouldn’t be any reason not to keep tiptoeing around sleeping together all the time?  
  
That’s where she was stuck, it was where she didn’t know what to do. And it’s not that she doesn’t want him, but when she stops to think about it, she can talk herself out of it. In the heat of the moment he makes her forget everything, but when she’s alone, she tries to remind herself that this is crazy, the idea of the two of them is  _crazy_.  
  
Sighing softly, she finishes the work on her arm and lets her forehead rest in her hand. One week. That’s all the time she has to figure out what this is.

 

**Day Fifty**

They're all sitting around the table playing cards when James decides to tell Miles that he's moving in with Jin across the barracks.  
  
"So, let me get this straight," Miles begins. "Jin and I are getting kicked out, and you two are going to be living here together? Alone?"  
  
Juliet shoots him the only warning look he's going to get.  
  
"And there's absolutely nothing going on?"  
  
Jin raises his cards a little higher so that his mouth is hidden.  
  
James tosses down his cards, he's won anyway, and reaches for his beer. "Look, Enos. It was a housing mistake. You were never supposed to be here in the first damn place. And I think I speak for everyone when I say these quarters were a little cramped  _anyway_."  
  
Miles blinks. "Well yeah, but you'd think they'd give Jules the place to herself, or move her in with Amy or something."  
  
"Why the hell would they move her in with Amy?"  
  
"They're both chicks! They talk and do makeovers and shit, you know, woman stuff."  
  
Juliet rolls her eyes and rubs her forehead. "Miles, why is this such an important topic of conversation?" she asks pointedly.  
  
He doesn't want to come out and say 'because I'm betting with Jin on when you and LaFleur finally hook up', so he starts dealing new cards. "I'm not a fan of picking up and moving for no reason, plus, I'm not sure that leaving any man alone with you is a good idea."  
  
She's reaching over and hitting him in the back of the head even as he's ducking. "You're an idiot."  
  
"See!" he points out, looking at her accusingly. "This is what you do in front of witnesses, what the hell are you gonna do to Jim when there's no one here?"  
  
The silence that follows that statement is broken only by Jin making a soft snort of amusement and covering it by coughing.  
  
"I'm going to bed," Juliet announces. "Miles, don't forget I'll still know where you live. Just because you won't be under the same roof doesn't mean I won't try to kill you in your sleep."  
  
After she walks out, Miles looks at James. "Good luck, man. If you don't show up one day for work, I'll look for your body under the dock."  
  
James just smirks a little, looking back towards Juliet's room. "I ain't worried. Besides, I think she likes me," he grins before taking his new cards and sitting back in his chair.

 

**Day Fifty-One**

Phil's words about how to make a lady happy linger on the way back from the security station to the house. And James knows Juliet's been a little on edge since the whole moving thing. He's not really sure how to fix it, especially on an island that isn't exactly renowned for it's shopping. Not that he'd know what to get her anyway.  
  
But still. It's the little things. As he passes by some flowers he backtracks, contemplating for a moment. And he's trying to figure out if this is too cheesy or something she'd hate when he decides to just pick one, and it happens to be yellow. The whole walk back to the house he's nervous, trying to think if he's ever given a woman flowers before when it wasn't a part of some con.   
  
He hasn't.  
  
When he walks in she's cleaning up the living room, fluffing the pillows on the couch, and she turns to greet him. Whatever she's about to say dies on her lips as soon as she sees the flower, and instead she offers him a curious look. "Did you pick that for me?"  
  
He manages what he feels like is an awkward smile as he walks closer to her, holding it out. "Yeah. Somethin' about the yellow. Reminded me of you."  
  
Juliet takes it, her smile small but it's reaching her eyes, and when she looks back up at him he realizes he'll do anything - a million small things - to make sure she keeps looking at him like that.

 

**Day Fifty-Two**

The comfortable silence between them as they read is something Juliet revels in. If someone had told her back when he was in the polar bear cages that James was a voracious reader, she never would have believed them. He’s very nearly gone through all the books they have, but with the paycheck he gets he’s already ordered more. They trade back and forth, his books for hers, so tonight she’s reading Watership Down and he’s reading Pride and Prejudice.  
  
“Juliet.”  
  
She hums a little and looks up, and the expression on his face makes her smirk a little. “You’re not giving up are you?”  
  
“I’m tryin’,” he says with a sigh. “But I’m not understanding what the big deal is about this book.”  
  
“What part are you on?” she asks curiously as she marks the place in her book with a finger.  
  
“Elizabeth’s acceptin’ that proposal. Somewhere around chapter fifty eight.”  
  
Juliet’s eyes light up. “No, I love that part. Darcy’s in love with her and then Lady Catherine shows up to stall the engagement...but Elizabeth finally realizes that she loves him? It’s good.”  
  
He shakes his head. “If he loves her, it don’t matter  _who_  shows up. I’m gonna finish the book, but I don’t like it.”  
  
“You’re almost done anyway, and no one said you have to read it. You’re the one who took it off my shelf.” She turns back to the book in her hands, a little smile playing on her lips.  
  
He’s cute when he argues literature.

 

**Day Fifty-Three**

Juliet walks into Miles’ soon to be empty room and hands him freshly laundered jumpsuits.  
  
“Thanks mom,” he says, and she smiles a little because he sounds disappointed to be moving out.  
  
“You know I’ll still do your laundry.”  
  
“I can do my laundry,” he sulks.  
  
“You know you can still come over for dinner, right?”  
  
Miles looks up at her at that. “You sure? I mean, I wouldn’t want to ruin you and LaFleur’s sexy time.”  
  
She rolls her eyes and walks out. “I take it back. Don’t ever knock on my front door.”  
  
“Because you  _will_  be busy making out with Jim, or…”  
  
“Kill you in your sleep, Miles!” she calls from down the hallway, and he smirks a little, because he’ll kind of miss being threatened by her on a daily basis. Oh well. There's still Jim.

 

**Day Fifty-Four**

After she makes her toast, Juliet takes a sip of her wine and avoids looking at James. She can’t look at him and hope to keep a straight face, and he isn’t hard to avoid since he’s sitting right next to her, but she doesn’t risk it.  
  
Jin clears his throat and Juliet looks up at him, always expecting the man to suddenly blurt out what he knows about she and James. But instead, he hobbles a bit of the English he’s learned into something coherent. “I will miss Juliet yells at Miles.” It’s not perfect, but he’s still working on it and she understands anyway. She laughs and tosses Miles a sweet look. “Aw, I’ll come around your place to yell at him for you, Jin.”  
  
Miles is not amused. “I hate you, Jules.” He doesn’t, using her nickname to make sure she knows he isn’t serious.  
  
She just smirks as she drops her hand into her lap. Finally looking over at James, he looks at her, and her heart stops a little at the way he’s smiling, his dimples in full force. When she looks away, it’s down at her food but before she can take a bite he’s taking her hand under the table. His thumb moves over her wrist and she’s staring so hard at her plate that Miles notices.  
  
“You can’t actually absorb the food by staring at it. Pick up a fork.”  
  
She can’t wait for Miles and Jin to leave.

 

**Day Fifty-Five**

So much of their routine has been based on secrecy, so when Juliet gets up to sneak to her room it’s simply out of habit. His arms pulling her back surprises her.  
  
“Ain’t gotta go anymore, remember?”  
  
Her stomach flutters a little bit as she lets him pull her back against his chest and she grins to herself. It can be like this every morning now, and she won’t have to make her way to his room in the middle of the night anymore, either. She honestly has no idea how they were never caught until Jin. Turning over to face James, she reaches out to run her fingers over his stubble, her eyes finding his. “Good morning.”  
  
He bends to press a kiss to her jaw, pulling her closer. “Mornin’.”  
  
Closing her eyes, Juliet tilts her head to the side to give him free reign of her skin and she sighs softly. “I have to work.”  
  
“Call in,” he says, even though he knows she can’t.  
  
There’s a moment when she presses against him and his hands are against her back that she considers it, but she knows there will be a day later when she  _really_  won’t want to go. “Not today,” she sighs, even as his lips traveling down and across her collar bone are starting to make her have second thoughts. Pushing away from him reluctantly, she leaves but not before one last glance back at him. Just in time to see him pull her pillow to his chest.

 

**Day Fifty-Six**

James doesn’t understand this Kevin guy or what the hell his deal is. Every time James comes around the motor pool, for some reason this janitor finds a damn reason to come around, too. And because for some reason him and Juliet aren’t telling anyone they’re…whatever the hell they are, it’s not like James can make some kind of public statement. Even though the whole of Dharmaville thinks they’re already a couple.  
  
It kind of irritates him that as it turns out, he’s the jealous type. He thinks about saying something to the guy but he figures Juliet wouldn’t like that; him fighting her battles for her, so he settles for glaring at the guy when he can. When she comes out from a storage room and Kevin trails behind her James frowns, but then Juliet’s looking at him and smiling like James is the best thing she’s seen all day. So, he makes an executive decision.  
  
Walking to her in three quick strides, he pulls her against him and kisses her right there in the motor pool. She kisses him back for a second before she’s pushing him away and staring at him like he’s lost his mind. Now he thinks that maybe she’ll be pissed but at least  _Kevin_  knows where he stands.  
  
“See you at home,” he says with a nod, not giving her a chance to say anything back. He brushes by the janitor then pauses to look over his shoulder him.  
  
The guy gets the hint and leaves.

 

**Day Fifty-Seven**

Dinner’s tense at their house that night, the day after he kissed her at the motor pool. When he did it, he was just trying to get Kevin to leave her alone but the way she pushed him back (after a few seconds he noted), made him wonder just what the hell was going on. So, he decided to ask.  
  
“Why the hell’d that kiss get you all bent of shape?” He isn’t being harsh, just asking an honest question, and she puts down her fork with a sigh.  
  
“I told you, I’m not – “  
  
“Yeah, I know, you ain’t ready. Not like the whole damn place doesn’t already think we’re together.”  
  
“That doesn’t mean we go around making out all over the place,” she says with a bit of a glare.  
  
He looks at her incredulously. “Makin’ out? It was one kiss! And if you didn’t notice, it got Kevin to take a hike.”  
  
Juliet’s eyes widen. “Oh,  _that’s_  what the kiss was about. I have a friend and you’re making public announcements?” She stands and takes her plate to the sink.  
  
“Friend my ass,” James snorts as he takes a drink of his beer. “He was all over you at that dance, and he makes damn moon eyes at you every time you’re around.”  
  
She’s about to say something but a light bulb goes off and she pauses, her back to him as a smirk starts to play on her lips. By the time she turns around it’s gone and she stares at him. “James? Are you jealous?”  
  
He makes a few sounds that seem like a protest before finally speaking. “No, I ain’t jealous, don’t have a reason to.”  
  
He’s lying, she knows it, and she makes her way to him, looking down at him in his chair before bending down. And she knows she has his complete attention because he won’t stop staring at her. “When I’m ready to kiss you in public James, I will. In the meantime, don’t worry about Kevin. Although you’re a little cute when you’re jealous.” She can’t stop her grin but she hides it in a kiss as one thought races through her head:  
  
James wants her all to himself.

 

**Day Fifty-Eight**

"I’m fine, James." She’s walking away from him, not wanting him to see how not fine she is after running into a young Benjamin Linus.  
  
James grabs her arm but doesn’t make her turn. Just stops her from going forward. "You ain’t gotta put on some act around me, Juliet. Okay? It’s me."  
  
She looks at him, her usual passive mask replaced by something he doesn’t really know. "That boy is going to grow up and...he’s going to trap me here..." She feels like she can’t breathe.  
  
Pulling her against him, James can only hold her. He doesn’t know everything about Ben, just knows that he’d never let her leave so he pulls her down to the couch, figuring there’s more to say about it.  
  
She doesn’t say anything for a long time as she just breathes. “I told you about Goodwin, remember?” she finally says quietly.  
  
He nods. “Yeah, you told me.”  
  
“Ben knew it would happen. He sent Goodwin to the tail section of that plane to get killed.”  
  
The way she’s tensing up lets him know something else is coming, something worse than what she’s already said, and he lets his fingers brush through her hair, hoping it’ll calm her down some.  
  
“When I asked Ben why…why he did it? He said it was because I was his. James, he had Goodwin killed because I was sleeping with him. Because…” She shakes her head, bringing a hand up to cover her face so that he won’t see her crying. “And I didn’t even love Goodwin, I just…”  
  
He doesn’t make her finish what she’s saying, just pulls her against him. But her words keep echoing.  _I didn’t even love Goodwin._  He wonders where he’s falling, feels like an asshole because of it, and drops a kiss to the top of her head. “That kid out there ain’t gonna bother you. I got you.”  
  
She cries until she can’t anymore, thinking about the boy named Ben.

 

**Day Fifty-Nine**

Juliet looks over when he speaks; hiding the look of surprise that she knows flickered across her features. “Who said I thought I was part of a con?”  
  
He shifts a little, draining his beer and going for the second. “I just don’t want you to think it, is all. I know you got that damn…file or whatever you had back when things was different. Know you read all about me. Who I was.“  
  
His voice is low, and Juliet thinks back to a time when they were eating ice cream together in the middle of the night. “None of it matters, James. Especially now.” She waits to see if he gets it, not realizing that she’s holding her breath a little. But when he does and he gives up a small smile, she reaches for his hand, tangling their fingers together.

 

**Day Sixty**

She knows it’s his birthday because she read the date in his file. He never says anything the entire week, or even the night before and she figures it’s because birthdays after a certain point just weren’t that special. Your father killing your mother and then killing himself had a way of ruining everyone’s celebratory moods. She won’t push him if he really doesn’t want to celebrate, but she wants him to know that she knows.  
  
Juliet slipped out of bed early to find a flower like the one he gave her on a day when he didn’t even know she really needed it. When she comes back to the house she trims the bottom so it doesn’t look quite so jagged, then makes her way back to the bedroom. She wonders if he knows he takes her pillow when she’s not there, and she watches him for a while, leaning against the door frame. There’s a lot to consider about the two of them, and how willing she is to let herself go, but she’s standing there holding a flower so she figures she’s already pretty far gone. There’s just a little bit of her heart that can’t quite make it there, not yet. She wants it to.  
  
When James blinks awake and sits up on his elbows to look at her, she’s all shorts and a tank top and hair falling down her back. She holds up the flower with a little smile as she speaks softly. “Happy birthday, James.”  
  
The look of surprise registers on his face and a lopsided grin finally makes an appearance. “Is that today?” He doesn’t even ask how she knows.  
  
Making her way back to the bed, she curls up next to him, handing him the flower. “I’m glad you’re here.” He says it a lot to her, but she doesn’t think she’s ever told him, and she needs him to know. So, she says it again and this time he’s kissing her before she can finish her sentence. There’s something different about it, it’s desperate and he’s holding onto her like she might decide to leave on the sub right then.  
  
Pressing soft kisses to his face, she finally lets her forehead rest against his. It feels like there’s something unspoken, something heavy in the air while she lets her head sink to his chest so that she can lay there and he can wrap his arms around her.  
  
“Thanks, Blondie,” he says quietly, and she knows something’s changed again, another shift in their relationship, but she doesn’t think about it this time.


	3. Month Three

**Day Sixty-One**

James doesn’t really have a plan for tonight. He’s made her dinner, not that he’s a great cook, but tonight he wants to try. Hell, every night she had dinner ready and sometimes that was when she got home later than him. He can make more of an effort. He stops by the motor pool in the afternoon, asks her how late she’s working, then takes the rest of the day off. He does little tasks; cleans the living room, the bathroom. Then he starts cooking dinner and even cleans as he goes so that after neither one of them have to do anything except the plates.  
  
At ten minutes to seven, he cleans himself up and goes to the couch to wait, bringing out a book full of Poe. It’s not until the clock hits seven thirty that he realizes she’s not home yet. Sitting up, he walks out to the porch and looks out, searching for her but only seeing the normal people hanging around outside. He kind of hates that this is the seventies and nothing like a cell phone has been invented yet.  
  
He checks dinner, makes sure it’s still warm in the oven and paces a little. At eight he wonders why the hell he’s not just going to the motor pool to drag her home; it’s not like the place is that damn big. Then he thinks maybe she stopped at Amy’s. She didn’t know he was surprising her so it’s possible. He heads over and knocks, but when Amy tells him she thought Juliet left the motor pool an hour and a half ago, he’s already making his way to check. He jogs down but when he gets there, the only guy he sees is Mike who gives a half shrug. James looks at her station, sees all her stuff still out and knows she’s such a neat freak she’d never do that.  
  
He runs back to the barracks and bangs on Horace’s door. When the man answers, it’s all James can do to not panic. “We got a problem, boss.”  
  
Within twenty minutes, the flood lights are on over the entire damn place and James is organizing teams. He’s trying to be calm, think rational. No Hostiles had been spotted but that didn’t mean one of them didn’t take her. And he’s explaining all of this to everyone like he’s someone who’s actually in charge; actually has a fleeting thought of how proud Juliet would be to see him this organized. He can’t search; he’s looking at tapes because he doesn’t trust anyone to see something out of the ordinary with Juliet but him. If her body language is off, he knows no one knows her well enough to notice but him.  
  
He sends Miles and Jin on the first runs, trusting them more than Phil or any of the other guys, and he settles himself down to look at the security tapes from the motor pool, trying to find something. Anything.

 

**Day Sixty-Two**

Juliet’s as stubborn as James when it comes to proving a point. When she wakes up in the jungle, her first thought is that she will not tell him he was right. About  _anything_. The pain in her head is blinding and keeping her from actually standing, so she closes her eyes and thinks about the sequence of events that got her to this point.  
  
She was happy to start winding down for home, to see why exactly James had come around to specifically ask her what time she’d be done. He never did that for the sole reason that she was usually home before him. When she wasn’t it was because he was either off that day or something got her sidetracked. Something was up, and with the way he’d been smiling at her, she figured it was a good something.  
  
She was lost in her own little world when a nervous voice spoke up from beside her.  
  
“Hey – Hey, Juliet.”  
  
Looking up, she smiled at Kevin, and jealous James or not, she wasn’t going to shun the man just for existing. “Kevin. Everything okay?” He seemed nervous or upset about something, she wasn’t sure which.  
  
“Yeah…” He rubbed at the back of his head a little. “I took out a van and I think I ran over something, ruined the undercarriage. Any way you could come look at it for me before you get off work?”  
  
Juliet  _hated_  it when the workers were careless and she sighed a little but nodded. “Sure, where is it?” She was already getting together a few tools she thought she might need, but had a feeling the van would be stuck over night and she’d be towing it in the morning.  
  
“Right out here. Not far, I was almost back. It’s within quick walking distance,” Kevin assured her with his hands in his pockets.  
  
“Lead the way,” she gestured with more of a frustrated smile than anything.  
  
In hindsight, she really should have known that asshole was a Hostile.  
  
She didn’t remember him at any new recruit party, and she sure as hell didn’t need a janitor hanging around the motor pool so often. James was right to be worried, if only for the wrong reasons. She walked through the jungle, but when they got to a point that didn’t have any clear path she stopped. “Where are you broken down, exactly?”  
  
Kevin paused and turned to look at her before bringing his fingers to his lips and whistling. Before she knew what was happening, something hit the back of Juliet’s head and she fell to the ground.  
  
That’s all she can remember, and it’s dark, so dark that she can hardly see anything. Rolling onto her stomach, she takes stock of herself silently. Nothing feels broken, and she reaches up to feel the bump on the back of her head. Her hair’s matted and she guesses it’s blood. Fucking… _Kevin_  he was a Hostile. She has no idea why in hell he’d bring her out here or why they’d abandoned her before getting to their camp. Whatever the reason, she pushes herself up and knows she’s turned around. “Son of a bitch…”  
  
Juliet can’t see the stars for the canopy of trees, and it’s too dark to see a trail. She knows her best bet is to wait until sunrise, and she hopes nothing decides to come back for her.

 

**Day Sixty-Three**

As soon as James sees Kevin on the security tapes he’s pulling all the information there is on the guy in DHARMA. And wouldn’t you know, the last ‘Kevin’ shipped out on the sub six months ago. A fact that has James letting out a string of profanities all the way from the security station to Horace’s command center.  
  
“You wanna tell me how the hell someone who ain’t even a part of Hippyville’s been livin’ here without us even knowin’?” He’s so pissed that he shoves the files at Horace. “What the hell’d Reggie ever do before he left anyway? Ain’t security supposed to be on top of this kind of shit?” He knows he should calm down, stay rational, but the Hostiles have Juliet.  
  
The Hostiles have  _Juliet_. It’s a thought that keeps racing through his mind. All that Horace can do is apologize and promise to double the efforts to look for her.   
  
A whole day goes by without finding her.  
  
He talks himself out of marching into Hostile territory that night, but there’s nothing he can do as worker after worker reports back empty handed. Even Jin and Miles, so James paces, dragging a hand down his face in frustration. The only thing he can think to do is wait until morning before trying to find her trail. Morning seems so damn far away, and he contemplates drinking but he can’t do this completely fucking wasted so he decides that once he finds her he can get three sheets to the wind in celebration.  
  
Miles tries to talk to him; Jin sits with him in silence when James can sit still long enough. But the more people who come back without her, the harder it gets. He hates being head of security sometimes because he can’t just leave and get out there. He’s in charge of making sure shit like this doesn’t happen and it’s a good thing Reggie didn’t retire on the island because James has a few choice words for him. Then he focuses that energy on imagining what it’ll feel like when his fist connects with Kevin’s face. If Juliet’s not hurt he’s making a damn banner that says ‘I told you so’ and hanging it from the ceiling of their house.  
  
When it’s finally light enough outside he puts Miles in charge and goes to the armory to get a rifle before going out to look on his own.  
  
“LaFleur! It’s Juliet!”  
  
Those words make him fumble with the keys, almost dropping them before stuffing them back down into his jumpsuit pocket and running back outside. Miles is helping her, yelling at everyone to back up, to give her space, and James realizes she looks a little dazed. There’s blood on her hands and her arms, and  _Christ_  it’s coming from her. Making his way to her, he puts his hands on her arms. “Juliet?” He tries to find her gaze but it takes her a minute to focus on him. Finally she does, blinking slowly up at him.  
  
“James.” She says his name like a sigh of relief before crumpling as she passes out.  
  
He catches her easily and lifts her up to carry her to the infirmary, all the while thinking that he’s going to kill Kevin.

 

**Day Sixty-Four**

There are strict rules about people visiting at the infirmary, but like a lot of rules James ignores them and dares the man in charge to say anything. He doesn’t. James waits while the nurse cleans her up and the doctor checks her out, makes sure she’s okay. He’s right there though, waiting for a report on the other side of the privacy curtain. “Well?”  
  
“She was hit in the back of the head pretty hard, but she’s tough. I’ll keep an eye on her over night, but she’ll be fine.”  
  
James tries to remember this guy’s name; Dick or Doug or Dave, but he can’t. “Thanks, doc.” He doesn’t even ask if it’s okay that he goes and sits with her again, just does it and pulls the chair up to her cot and stares at her. He goes through all of the irrational bullshit first: If he’d walked her home that night, if he’d convinced her to take the rest of the day off with him, if he  _hadn’t_  taken the rest of his day off. If he’d never asked her to stay on the damn island. The only reason he knows all of this is irrational is because he knows Juliet would be the first one to call him on it.  
  
Reaching out for her hand, he’s careful not to wake her and just traces his thumb over her skin. He’s seen those hands shoot a man point blank, was it really that long ago that some vintage flavored Hostiles tried to chop it off? He can’t even remember but then, time’s a little fucked up for them right now.  
  
He leans back in his chair as she shifts, a frown creasing her forehead. He’s watching her like a hawk, looking for anything that seems off as she tries to twist into a better position. When she finally settles again he relaxes, closing his eyes. And he must doze off, because the next thing he knows it’s dark through the window. Running a hand over his face, he looks over at her and she’s staring back at him, and her small smile is the second best thing he’s seen in a few days. Giving her a smile of his own he leans forward, taking her hand in his. “Glad you finally decided to join us.”  
  
“Sorry I couldn’t make it sooner.” She’s still giving him a sort of smile, but there’s an edge to her voice and her hand tightens around his.  
  
James moves onto the bed, sitting next to her. “I’m gonna have to say no to anymore field trips into the jungle.” He’s trying to keep it light, to make her smile again, but then she’s crying and _shit_  he never knows what to do with tears. He just knows she was in the jungle when someone she thought she could trust probably tried to kill her.  
  
All he can do is hold onto her and figure that he won’t be letting go any time soon.

 

**Day Sixty-Five**

The walk to their house is awkward if only because everyone’s been talking amongst themselves for two days trying to guess what happened to her. So now as she and James walk in silence, people stand on their porches drinking coffee or pretending to sweep. Some just stare, but she doesn’t bother glaring. She just wants to be home. Her head is throbbing, and she knows they probably should have taken a jeep like James wanted, but the house isn’t that far. Now that she’s walking it though, it feels like miles.  
  
Stumbling a little, she doesn’t even have time to reach out to brace herself on his arm before he’s reaching out for her. “I’m fine,” she reassures him when they continue walking. His hand stays on her elbow for a minute before dropping back to his side. Juliet looks over at him for a second and realizes he looks like shit. He hasn’t shaved, there are bags under his eyes, and his hair is a little wild. Then she realizes he’s wearing the same shirt he was wearing under his jumpsuit the last time she’d seen him before Kevin. He’s tense, his shoulders heavy, and she reaches out for his hand, tugging him to a stop.  
  
Looking up at him, she wants to say that she’s grateful. That she knows he looked for her and wouldn’t have stopped. But instead, she tugs him down in front of everyone in DHARMA who happens to be watching and kisses him. His hands move to her waist after a second of shock wears off, and she brings her own up to cup his face, finally deciding that she doesn’t give a shit who happens to see them.  
  
She has no idea how long they stand like that, but when she finally pulls back he’s smiling a little. “About time, Blondie.”  
  
Juliet takes his hand, squeezing gently as she concentrates on their house just a few yards away. “Shut up, James.”

 

**Day Sixty-Six**

The first thing Juliet does when she’s home is take a shower. She lingers for a long time, letting the hot water ease the all over ache she has from laying on the jungle floor and then an uncomfortable clinic cot. That done, she takes three aspirin before finding James. He’s in his room on the edge of his bed tugging off his shoes with his back to her. Something about the way he’s hunched over, the way he’s still for a minute makes her feel guilty for putting him through all of this, and she climbs into his bed, falling onto her stomach.  
  
The movement makes him turn to look at her and he finishes taking off his shoes before swinging his legs over and lying on his side next to her. She opens her eyes to look at him and without hesitation rolls over and scoots back against him and finally relaxes for the first time in days. It doesn’t take long at all for her to fall asleep, especially as his thumb strokes across her arm rhythmically. She doesn’t know how long she sleeps, but she jerks awake and it’s pitch black in the room. Her heart feels like it’s about to pound out of her chest, her breathing a little ragged, and his arms tighten around her. She can’t remember whatever it was that she was dreaming, and she’s glad.  
  
Pressing back against him, the tension starts to ease from her shoulders as he kisses them, and she turns after a moment to face him. She can barely see him but they both have the same idea as their mouths meet and she kisses him softly. After the past few days, after being in the jungle and having fleeting thoughts that she might not see him again, her kiss turns needy and she parts her lips to kiss him deeper, her hands moving to rake through his hair.  
  
Before she realizes what’s happening, he’s pulling her over his body and her hips rock against his, and  _God_  it’s good, so she does it again until he breaks the kiss to say her name. His hands go to her hips, then slide up her back until they can tangle in her hair. She pauses, bending to kiss the corner of his mouth. Finding his eyes in the dark she doesn’t say anything, but he gets it - gets her - and rolls them so that he’s holding her again. They’re facing each other, her head turned down a bit so that her forehead is resting against him and her fingers tangle with his. She has no idea how he knows her tells but she’s glad, and she slips off to sleep again.

 

**Day Sixty-Seven**

It’s a day’s walk through the jungle to Hostile territory, so it gives James plenty of time to think. He didn’t specifically tell Juliet what he was going to do, but then he figures he didn’t need to. The whole damn place knows what he’s going to do. And unless Kevin has something insightful to say he’s in serious trouble.  
  
The thing is, James doesn’t know what the hell his plan is, just that he’s ready to kill the guy for taking Juliet. And he thinks back to that damn dance and the day at the motor pool. Times when he’d had the chance to really talk to him and didn’t. He’s pissed at himself now, because he used to be a con man for fuck’s sake, it wasn’t that long ago so he should have been picking up on Kevin’s body language and known  _something_. But he hadn’t. And maybe he’s losing his touch, but he’s thinking it has more to do with the fact that he’s close to Juliet and all he could see was some other guy in her space. He didn’t think of all the reasons why, just what he’d thought was the obvious reason.  
  
He and Jin and Miles camp out for the night but James isn’t in the mood for talking, and by the time the sun comes up they’re already walking and well into Hostile territory. All three of them have rifles ready as they move quietly, and when James sees the sorry son of a bitch at the creek, he moves behind him. “Hey,  _Kevin_.”  
  
The startled man turns and has no time to react before the butt end of a rifle is hitting him in the face.  
  
“Tie him up, boys.”

 

**Day Sixty-Eight**

Miles really hasn’t ever seen someone get the living shit beat out of them, but he figures this is what it would look like, and he wonders if he and Jin should actually stop Jim before Kevin really is dead. Jin  _does_  know how far a body can be pushed so he watches passively, understanding defending Juliet’s honor.  
  
James doesn’t really seem to give a shit about how far he’s gone, finally finding enough anger to let loose on the man. With one more heavy punch, he steps back and starts asking questions. “Why’d you take her?”  
  
Kevin’s bloody, and he spits blood before looking up with one eye swollen shut. “Following orders. I don’t ask questions.” He gets hit again and sputters.  
  
“You left her out in the middle of the damn jungle, now why’s that if you were just followin’ orders?” James is already poised to hit him again, waiting for him to say something.  
  
“You don’t get to know that,” Kevin says with a smirk that’s too smug for James.  
  
Reaching down for his rifle, he has a moment where he wishes Sayid were here to do some of that torture he was so good at, but he’ll make do. Aiming at Kevin’s head, he cocks the gun. “Why’d you leave her?”  
  
“You’re not going to kill me. I’m not going to say anything. So let’s just skip to the end where I leave.”  
  
“Last chance. You better talk.”  
  
Miles is freaking out a little because he didn’t think LaFleur would actually kill this asshole, and he’s looking back and forth between them, almost willing Kevin to open up his mouth and say something helpful.  
  
Instead, he says something in Latin with another smug look.  
  
James lowers the gun and shoots Kevin in the leg, his scream loud, and Miles turns to put his hands on top of his head. “Oh, shit. Holy shit.  _Fuck_ , Jim!”  
  
But James is yelling now, down in Kevin’s face. “Why’d you leave her?!”  
  
“She was marked! Because she’s marked! It’s out of our hands now!” And Kevin is rolling on the ground in agony as James finally steps back.  
  
“What the hell does that mean?”  
  
“The brand…the mark on her back,” Kevin gasps. “We’ve already marked her.”  
  
For a few seconds, James considers actually killing Kevin, but he can damn near hear Juliet in his head telling him he’s already gone too far. So, he looks a Jin and Miles, turning back towards DHARMA. “Let’s go.”  
  
They leave Kevin on the ground, and now James has a whole other set of questions. And he figures it’ll be a bitch trying to get answers out of Juliet.

 

**Day Sixty-Nine**

A part of her doesn’t want to know what happened out in the jungle. When he comes home he doesn’t say anything to her at all, but Juliet follows James to the bathroom anyway, watching as he washes dried blood off of his hands. There isn’t a mark on him other than his hands looking raw. So at least she knows Kevin didn’t receive any mercy. The silence is too much, so finally she opens her mouth to speak. “Did you kill him?”  
  
He doesn’t say anything until the water’s off and he shakes his head. “Shot him. Didn’t kill him.” He finally looks up at her. “What’s that mark on your back, Juliet?”  
  
The question’s so unexpected that for a moment her eyes widen in shock and she tenses a little. “…What?”  
  
“That’s why they left you out there. ‘Cause of the mark, now I wanna know what it is.”  
  
“It’s nothing, James. It’s…”  
  
“Bullshit it’s nothin’, Juliet. The Hostiles didn’t kill you ‘cause of that mark. And if I’m marchin’ through the damn jungle on your behalf, I got a right to know.”  
  
“I didn’t ask you to do that,” she says quietly, turning to go back to her bedroom.  
  
He stands there, completely pissed off and knowing that he shouldn’t push this any further but he’s had a really long fucking week and he’ll be damned if she freezes him out. Following her, he stands in the doorway. “What’s the mark?”  
  
She’s distracting herself by hanging up clothes, so her voice is a little muffled when it comes from the closet. “It’s a brand.”  
  
He hears the word ‘brand’ and tries not to think worst case scenario, but he is because what else could it mean? “They  _branded_  you?”  
  
She comes out of the closet and stares at him, her face blank. “They held me down and pressed hot metal against my back, James. What else do you want to know?”  
  
He can’t really find the words to make a cohesive sentence, so he just says the next word that comes to mind. “Why?”  
  
Juliet looks down at that, turning her back to him again to keep hanging clothes. “Because I helped you and Kate escape. I killed Danny.”  
  
James remembers that, how she came out of no fucking where and shot the guy twice in the chest from no further away than she was standing from him right now. And he doesn’t know what to say, because even when he didn’t think of her as anything but the enemy she had his back.  
  
“So, now you know, James.”  
  
“They thought someone already got to you. That mark is punishment, they musta thought you’d already been captured before and let go.”  
  
“Must have,” she says passively before moving to walk past him. He grabs her arm though, and she looks down at the ground. “Don’t, James,” she whispers, not even sure of what she’s asking him not to do. He doesn’t listen though, and he pulls her against him, running his fingers through her hair. He has more questions, needs to know more, and maybe before he would have pushed her to tell him everything, but not today.  
  
“You miss me?”  
  
She gives a muffled laugh against his chest and reaches out to wrap her arms around him. She doesn’t answer at first, but finally she speaks quietly. “Thank you, James.”  
  
His arms tighten around her and they just stand there together like that for a while. She’s marked for him, because of him, and he’s not really sure how to ever make that right.

 

**Day Seventy**

After Juliet calls Horace, she curls back into her corner of the couch and goes back to her staring. She’s not upset, not about anything in particular even though she figures she should be. She was kidnapped after all. Hit in the head and left in the jungle, and she wonders if maybe she’s gotten soft in the last twelve weeks. She knows she has, she’d forgotten about Hostiles and smoke monsters and everything else out there that she’d been trying to get away from for three years.  
  
She has no idea that James is watching her until he clears his throat, and she looks up, tilting her head back to look up at him. He drops a kiss to her forehead before moving around the couch and sitting next to her. “Why aren’t you dressed, Blondie?”  
  
She shrugs a little. “Horace told me to take all the time I needed. I’m taking the time I need.”  
  
“You want me to hang around with you? Perks of bein’ the boss, Jin’ll take over.”  
  
She wants to say yes, and she even hesitates before shaking her head. “No, you should go. You have a lot of reworking the system to do, don’t you?” He’d only gone on a rant about it every night during dinner since she’d come back.  
  
He sighs a little and runs a hand over his face. “Yeah. Reggie was a damn idiot and now all I’m doin’ is cleanin’ up after him.”  
  
“I’m proud of you though,” she says as she scoots against him, lacing her fingers through his so that their palms are pressing together.  
  
He wants to say ‘too little, too late’ but he doesn’t. Instead he looks at their hands and finally decides to ask the question he’s been thinking since yesterday. “Why’d they brand you, Juliet? I mean, I know they did it because you killed Danny. But it don’t make sense.”  
  
“Because they didn’t kill me,” she says as her gaze meets his and she holds his eyes. He doesn’t say anything, just lowers his eyes. “They were going to execute me. Jack kept it from happening.”  
  
James looks at her, his first question tumbling out before he can stop it. “Why the hell didn’t you ever tell me that, Juliet?”  
  
“Because the only thing that should matter is that I’m alive,” she says pointedly, and he huffs because she’s right. But it was Jack that saved her somehow, and he doesn’t even want to know the rest of the story.  
  
“I bet he doctored it up real nice for you, too.”  
  
Juliet’s up before he can even realize what he said and she walks to her room, slamming the door behind her.  
  
“Son of a bitch…” he mutters. But he doesn’t follow her, he just leaves for work, not bothering to slam the door in return because it doesn’t even seem worth it.

 

**Day Seventy-One**

James is starting to wonder if maybe he didn’t fuck up everything for good with Juliet. He hasn’t seen her since the day before, and he tells himself that he doesn’t care, that if she can’t get over it then it doesn’t matter. But even as he tries to convince himself, he knows it isn’t true. He just doesn’t know what the hell to say to her. And he’s never really worried about shit like this before but he didn’t sleep at all last night. His room was too damn quiet without her. He missed the noises she made in her sleep and it’s driving him crazy that he’s this miserable without her. He has no idea when he turned into  _this_  guy.  
  
When she finally comes through the kitchen, he realizes she didn’t sleep either, and her eyes are red like she’s been crying. The tension in the room is thick, and he guesses she thought he would have been at work by now. She avoids looking at him; won’t even speak to him, and he’s trying to figure out what he needs to do to make this right. But before he can even say anything she’s leaving the kitchen with a cup of coffee and he’s left in silence again.  
  
Before he leaves for work he stares at a notepad and writes a quick note, and he knows it isn’t enough, but he has no idea what else to do.  
  
 _Sorry_.

 

**Day Seventy-Two**

Juliet hasn’t slept. She can’t sleep in the bed alone. It’s too big, his side of the bed is cold, and most importantly, when she does doze and dream about being left in the jungle, he’s not there to wrap her up when she jerks awake. It makes the whole sleep experience not even worth it so she doesn’t bother. She knows she could end the argument, but what he’d said hurt. Why was he allowed Kate but she couldn’t mention Jack? It wasn’t like she’d fallen deeply in love with him. It wasn’t as if she’d gone to the cages and had sex with him.  
  
Once the sun is up again, Juliet climbs out of bed and walks bleary eyed to the kitchen where she’s surprised to see him sitting up. And there’s a lot she wants to say – they need to talk about it – but she can’t find the words. He doesn’t say anything to her either, so she pours her coffee and walks back to her room. There’s an ache that she can’t get over, something that physically hurts, and she listens to him leave. It’s ridiculous to think that maybe he won’t come back, but her last thought before exhaustion finally hits her is that it wouldn’t be the first time she’s left alone.

 

**Day Seventy-Three**

James gives up on sleeping after a few hours of tossing and turning and decides to just get up and read in the living room. He’s halfway down the hallway when he hears a bottle landing on the dining room table, and since it’s just the two of them now it’s not hard to figure out who it is. Heading into the kitchen, he eyes her sitting there with a bottle of rum and clears his throat. “Mind if I join you?”  
  
For a second he’s afraid she’s going to say no, but instead she just picks the bottle up again and takes a sip before sliding it across the table. “What’s the occasion?” he asks casually before taking a drink.  
  
She looks up at him, studying his features before she speaks. “You realize I know everything about you, right?”  
  
He’s pretty damn sure he’s walking into a trap, and he slides the bottle back to her. “Yeah. You told me.”  
  
When she takes the bottle, she takes a long drink (long enough to make him raise his eyebrows) and shakes her head. “I know about you and Kate. You were being taped.”  
  
James almost asks what she’s talking about until he realizes. “The cages.” And it isn’t a question of what it was exactly that she saw.  
  
“So you think you have the right to give me shit about Jack?” Juliet asks incredulously. “Why…why does it matter? I don’t…”  
  
He figures out where she’s going and helps her along by interrupting. “I ain't nothin' like Jack. I can’t fix you up. I ain’t a leader.”  
  
Juliet almost laughs, but instead she just blinks. “You're not a leader? You can't  _fix_  me?" She takes another sip of the rum before passing it to him. "You got us into the damn DHARMA Initiative for Christ's sake, James. You made every capable person look for me when I was kidnapped. You stayed with me when you found me. You've done... _all_  of those things, so don't tell me you're not a leader."  
  
"I didn't find you. You made your way back. And all of this is just lies, Juliet. It's survivin'."  
  
She stands up, frustrated that he's not getting it and that he keeps making excuses for himself. And she's a little drunk so she wobbles slightly before speaking. "If you could just see yourself the way I see you...God, James..." She trails off, covering her face with one hand as he just stands there.  
  
There's a lot of silence because he has no idea what in hell to say to that. So, he does what feels right and pulls on her hand until she's in his lap and he's kissing her. He's not good with words or the sentimental shit, not like she is. All he can do is kiss her and hope that it's good enough to prove he heard her, that he gets it. Her hands tangle in his hair and she tastes like rum and spice but he pulls away and presses his forehead against hers. "You're drunk," he murmurs.  
  
"I know." Her head falls onto his shoulder as she sighs, and he holds her there for a long time, trying to figure out what to say next. But he never has to worry about it. She goes boneless in his arms and he realizes that she's asleep.  
  
"Damn light weight," he mutters affectionately before standing carefully, turning her in his arms so that he can carry her to his bedroom. Laying her down on the bed, he falls next to her and when she scoots back against him in her sleep his arm goes around her waist. It'll be the first peaceful sleep they've both had in a while.

 

**Day Seventy-Four**

When Juliet wakes up, it’s to her legs crisscrossed over James’, one of his arms slung over her waist, and one of her arms stretched out over his head. Her face is inches from his and she concentrates on the feel of his breath falling against her cheek. She’s also trying to remember the night before, because she doesn’t remember coming back to the room. She remembers kissing him though, and it finally feels like things might be alright.  
  
Her hand is asleep, and even though she’s afraid of waking him, she’s so uncomfortable that she has to move. Shifting against him, his arm tightens around her in his sleep and she slides her hand up to rest under her cheek and lets her opposite arm fall over his side to match the way he’s holding onto her. Her eyes are open now and she’s watching him, unable to resist pressing her lips to his forehead gently. Then, she settles in and drops off to sleep again, warm and comfortable.  
  
The next time she wakes up, she’s alone. Groggily, she pushes herself up and squints at the clock a little. It was after ten so he was at work. Running a hand down her face she gets out of bed and makes her way to the kitchen for coffee, but pauses right in the entry way. Lying on the table is one perfect yellow daisy and she grins to herself, bringing her fingers up over her mouth. She’ll have to think of a way to thank him later.

 

**Day Seventy-Five**

For the first time since she’s been back, Juliet’s out of the house and James decides to take advantage of the time. She’s not far, just visiting Amy, but he cleans up anyway, changing the sheets on both of the beds, doing some light laundry, and starting dinner. And he remembers last time he tried to surprise her, how it led to days of worry and then later tension, but it’s finally dissolved and he wants to try again.  
  
It’s really too bad he only knows how to make a handful of things. Lasagna’s one of them though he has no idea when he picked up the skill, but as he slides it out of the oven he’s glad he learned. Putting it on the table, he’s pouring DHARMA merlot when the front door opens and he looks up. “Look who it is,” he says with a little smile, and she walks in, looking at the food on the table.  
  
“You cooked?”  
  
“Course I cooked.”  
  
“Well you never have before, so I thought you must have survived all of these years without me on Ramen or Spam.”  
  
He doesn’t say that he cooked that night for her, just lets it go. “Nah, Blondie. I got some things I’m good at.” He wraps her up in his arms, tucking her head under his chin.  
  
“Thanks,” she smiles as her hands move up and down his back before she pulls away just enough to give him a kiss. One kiss that turns into a second, then a third and she sinks against him while his hands hold onto her hips. By the time she pulls away she’s a little flushed, but she’s also hungry. She’s gone nearly a week without eating a real, full meal and her stomach finally growls in protest. When she’s sitting and he serves her, she takes a bite and sighs happily. “It’s edible, even.”  
  
He pushes the back of her head affectionately as he walks by to sit next to her. “Course it is, I wouldn’t feed you somethin’ if it wasn’t good.” He does look a little surprised though when he takes a bite. “Damn, it is good.”  
  
She smirks and puts down her fork, looking at him, blue eyes searching his face until he finally looks up at her.  
  
“How come you ain’t eatin?” he asks, a little worried.  
  
Instead of answering she leans over and kisses him, bringing one hand up to rest against his face. When she pulls away she smiles, then finds his eyes again. “Thank you, James.”  
  
She says it with such conviction and her eyes are so clear, that he can’t help but feel a little overwhelmed that one damn dinner makes her this happy. “Hey. It was nothin’. Don’t mention it.” He kisses her again before pulling back so they can eat, one hand resting on her thigh. After a few minutes, her hand moves so that their fingers can tangle together. They eat in comfortable silence, and she’s almost sure that this is the best dinner she’s ever had.

 

**Day Seventy-Six**

The evening starts just like any other evening they’ve shared together in the past couple of months. She’s curled up on the couch reading, her feet pressing against his leg as he leans over the coffee table, looking over papers from work. When he sighs and takes off his glasses to rub his eyes she looks up from her book. “Everything okay?”  
  
“Yeah, just a lot of damn readin’ that ain’t exactly classic literature.” One of his hands moves up and down her leg absently in a slow rhythm.  
  
“Take a break,” she urges him before turning back to her book. Though she isn’t really reading anymore so much as she’s concentrating on the feel of his hand on her skin. Every few strokes he ventures a little further up her leg and she has to force herself not to look at him. Her strategy is working until he grazes the back of her knee and the involuntary shiver that rolls down her spine isn’t lost on him. She’s looking over to make some excuse that she’s ticklish when suddenly he’s in her space and kissing her. The book drops from her hands and she shifts just enough so that she’s under him, kissing him deeply as her fingers rake up and down his back.  
  
His hands feel like they’re everywhere and not where she wants them all at once, and she reaches for his shirt to tug it over his head. Because their kiss is broken anyway, he takes the opportunity to return the favor, his hands moving over her sides, chest, and stomach. She gasps, arching into him and he pauses. “Juliet…” He gets up and she misses the warmth of his body over hers instantly, but he’s pulling her up with him and once she’s standing he kisses her again, turning to guide her toward the bedroom. In the hallway her hands run down his back and dip into his jeans, making him pause with her against the wall so that he can touch her back, not even able to make it across the damn house before he needs to feel her skin under his fingers again. She’s warm and flushed and soft, and his lips drop to trace her collar bone while her hands move to allow her fingers to rake through his hair. He’d stand in the hallway with her like that all night, but she whimpers his name and he’s picking her up, her legs locking around his waist as she bends to kiss across his neck.

They both know she’s been the one calling the shots, asking him to wait, so when he puts her on the bed and steps back a little to look at her, she understands the question he isn’t asking. Holding his eyes with her own, she reaches behind her back and unclasps her bra, tugging it away from her body before reaching for him again. He swallows heavily and moves over her letting his eyes take her in and Christ, she’s beautiful so he tells her before bending to take a nipple into his mouth. She gasps his name and presses into him which only spurs him on, his teeth lightly biting before his tongue soothes over her skin. Her jaw drops as her hands clutch at his shoulders and he stays there until her hips press up into his and he groans. Trailing away from her breast he finds her mouth again, his hands working on the button of her jeans, then the zipper before he’s pushing them down her hips. She lifts herself to help him and he takes the opportunity to tug her underwear off too, and this time he has to sit back to admire her. He never had any idea what to expect; he’d thought about it, knew she’d be amazing, but this is overwhelming.  
  
“Juliet…” He wants to tell her but the words aren’t coming, so instead he kisses her again as her hands move to get the rest of his clothes off. But he remembers something and pulls away again, his lips lingering against hers. “Condom. We need a condom.”  
  
Reaching blindly for her nightstand, she pulls out a DHARMA condom and he gives her a lopsided grin. “You already got ‘em?”  
  
“Always be prepared James, you know that.”  
  
He grins, because she’s been thinking about this enough to go out and get condoms, and he wonders how long ago, but he lets the thought go as soon as her hands are working on his jeans. She gets them undone and hooks her fingers into his boxers so that she’s pushing everything down in one move as far as she can. His hands do the rest of the work and then she’s pulling him down into another kiss, her tongue sliding along his as she pulls him against her. Rocking against him, they both groan, and she knows neither one of them have the patience for slowing down. She tears open the condom and reaches for him, delighting in the way his eyes close. She gets lost in the way he feels, in the fact that he wants her, but she’s brought back to the present when his fingers dip to return the favor, sliding over her until he’s pressing into her and she cries out his name, arching her back. His eyes are fixed on her face and the way her lips part, and he knows there’s no way in hell he’s ever going to stop wanting to see her this vulnerable, coming apart against him. When her hips rock against his hand he pulls away so that she can concentrate, and her fingers roll the condom over him before hands travel up his chest to pull him back over her.  
  
When she opens her eyes to look at him he can’t stop staring even as he presses into her. They’re a deeper shade of blue, an intense ocean blue, and they flutter closed as soon as he thrusts against her. “James…” His name comes out of her mouth like sigh, like she’s been living just to say his name exactly like that and he moves against her, his hand seeking out one of hers as he moves. Both of her legs wrap around him loosely as she presses up and against him, the muscles in her stomach already tightening in anticipation of more. When he bends to kiss her she whimpers into his mouth and it spurs him on, moving faster and thrusting deeper when she calls out his name again. He’s barely hanging on, he can’t keep watching her because he knows it’ll be over too soon, so he presses his face against her neck, staying there to feel her heart pounding against his lips before dragging his mouth to her breast again, his tongue wrapping around a nipple until she tenses underneath him. Her hand squeezes his tightly and she shudders as she comes, and he has to look at her, has to see her face even though he knows it’ll be over as soon as he does.  
  
When he lifts his head, her eyes are open but unfocused, and every time he moves they close for a second. Her skin is flushed, and her hair is spread out on the pillow and  _God_  it’s just too damn much and he comes against her, calling out her name as he does. And then she’s writhing against him again, moving with him until she can’t anymore and she falls back, boneless against the pillows. He hovers over her for a few seconds, panting hard and not wanting to move away just yet. She’s reaching for him though and he moves to her side, kissing up and down her neck softly. When he feels her breathing come back to normal he gets up, quickly going to the bathroom to dispose of the condom before climbing into bed again. Pulling her against him he kisses her softly, and she tucks her head under his chin. They lie together in content silence, his fingers running up and down her back until he hears her breathing even out in sleep. Reaching for the sheet, he pulls it up over both of them and falls asleep to the rhythm of her breathing against his chest.

 

**Day Seventy-Seven**

Waking up wrapped around James is nothing new; they’ve been doing that part for weeks. Waking up  _naked_  and wrapped around James is a whole new experience that she’s finding very enjoyable. Her back is to him and she nestles against his chest, feeling her skin sliding along his, and when his arm tightens around her, his hand is warm and low against her stomach. If she’d known it was going to feel this good, she might have given in weeks ago.  
  
Carefully and very slowly, Juliet turns in his arms so that she can look at him while he sleeps. His face is completely relaxed and she can’t help herself when she leans in to press a soft kiss against his lips. It causes him to stir, and since he’s awake she might as well do it again. This time he kisses her back and she smiles against his mouth until he’s pulling her up and over him. “Stay with me today,” she requests softly before her mouth is finding his pulse point while her hips rock against his.   
  
He doesn’t say anything, he can’t form a coherent sentence with her mouth there, and he reaches for her nightstand to get a condom as she kisses him deeply. She’s taking the lead this morning apparently, and he doesn’t have any complaints, especially once she’s guiding him into her and they’re moving together. Everything is as good as the first time, maybe better now that they’re comfortable, and when they’re both coming he’s clinging to her tightly, his face buried against her neck.  
  
“Stay,” she whispers again, still panting softly as she rests on top of him, her lips dragging across his chest.  
  
This time he reaches for the phone immediately and gives Juliet a grin as he dials Horace’s number, never happier to make up an excuse about staying home.

 

**Day Seventy-Eight**

It's everyone tiptoeing around her that starts to drive Juliet absolutely crazy. When she gets to the motor pool there's a welcome back banner and cake, and she smiles a little, touched that the rest of her co-workers care enough. But then they start offering to take her work load and fetch her things and she has to tell them that she's  _back_ , and back means letting her do her job. She tries not to get irritated though, and so she goes through her day doing menial tasks. Mostly she thinks about James and how he's changed his schedule around to walk home with her.  
  
When it's finally five Juliet pulls off her bandanna and glances up, a small smile playing across her features when she sees James, right on time and making his way toward her. She waves goodbye to the group still hanging around before starting the walk back to the barracks with him. There's small talk; 'how was your day' and all the other questions, but when she finally makes eye contact with him she's already thinking about taking off his jump suit. His hand brushes against the small of her back as he lets her walk up their porch first and she knows he doesn't miss her soft sigh.  
  
They don't even make it out of the living room before he's grabbing her, unzipping her while she kisses across his neck. The front door seems as good a place as any, especially with the bedroom on the other side of the house, so once they're both unzipped she's pulling a condom out of some damn where and he's pushing inside of her and he can't even think. Her legs wrap around his waist, her teeth bite his earlobe and he grips her hips, moving fast and hard until she's falling apart around him. It's the sound of her voice calling out his name that pushes him right over the edge with her, and he pants with his forehead against hers. "Jesus Christ, Juliet..."  
  
She's still trying to catch her breath, her hands moving up and down his shoulders.  
  
"Where the hell'd you pull that condom from?"  
  
Juliet laughs, opening her eyes to look at him. "It was in my pocket."  
  
"You keep condoms in your pocket?" he asks with an arch of his eyebrows.  
  
"Well, only recently. I figured you don't have a wallet so we might as well go with the next best thing."  
  
James smirks and carefully puts her down. "Glad you were thinkin' ahead there, Blondie."  
  
"It's why I'm in charge." She kisses him, never happier to be home as they make their way to the bedroom.

 

**Day Seventy-Nine**

Juliet's always been glad that she can't see the brand, that after the burning faded away she could forget about it. She knows it isn't fair to leave James in the dark, not now, probably not before either. Considering how she got the brand - why she got the brand - she should have told him sooner. She can't change how everything happened though, she can only move forward. So as she lies on her stomach pretending to be asleep she wonders what he thinks about the mark. He's awake, hovering over her and ghosting his lips down her spine. When he gets to the brand, his fingers trail over it and she sighs softly. It gives her away, and she feels his lips curve into a smirk.  
  
"I knew you weren't sleepin'."  
  
"I happened to be enjoying what you were doing."  
  
He kisses her right above the mark and she shivers, closing her eyes until he gently turns her over. Looking at him, she trails her fingers down his arm, holding his gaze. She loves the color of his eyes, the subtle green, but when he looks at her now they're almost emerald. Both of them are quiet for a while, his fingers trailing down across her pelvis and sometimes skirting her inner thighs. His lips press against her stomach before he speaks softly.  
"Thanks, Blondie."  
  
"For what?"  
  
"Stayin'. Helpin' me out back then. Even though you tased me first."  
  
"Mhmm. And don't think I didn't notice you checking me out right before that."

"I didn't," he protests as his fingers dip a little, skirting sensitive skin.  
  
Her eyes close again, her breath hitching even as a smirk tugs at her lips. "Yes. You did, I remember. You were - " and then one of his fingers presses into her and she completely loses her train of thought. A second finger comes into play and her back arches as he presses into her.  
  
“I was what now?”  
  
All that she can do is gasp when he moves with a purpose, hearing his question but not able to find the words to answer because  _God_  his hand and those fingers, and she still can’t believe that they’re doing this after three days. Three days of doing nothing but  _this_  and it’s new every time. “James…”   
  
Every time she says his given name like that he has to hear it again. She’s the only one who’s ever made it sound right, like he can really be that man – James – and not Sawyer. He never wants to be Sawyer with her. Curving his fingers, he groans when she digs her nails into his shoulder but he doesn’t stop. He’s watching her face and the way her lips are parted and her eyes are closed while her hips rock against his hand. All he wants is to see her fall apart so he doubles his efforts, bending to kiss across her neck and down her chest.  
  
He doesn’t have to wait long. Her fingers rake through his hair, then move to his back as she holds him against her and calls out his name again, her hips moving in no set rhythm. Her hair is sticking to her face and neck as she pants, and she whimpers when he moves his hand. When he shifts beside her she nestles herself against him, finally opening her eyes to look at him again.  
  
“You did check me out.”  
  
He laughs, his dimples appearing as he drags a hand down his face. “Alright. You caught me, Blondie. Now what?”  
  
Juliet grins as she leans in to kiss James, rolling until she’s over him to show him exactly how flattered she’d been.

 

**Day Eighty**

She likes that they’re still keeping up the routine of sitting on the porch and drinking together, that nothing else between them has changed. Well, except that they sit closer now, touching from nearly shoulder to thigh. They talk about everything and nothing, but usually something big comes up so she waits for it, opening her third beer as she relaxes against him.  
  
“I gotta ask you something, Blondie. And I ain’t tryin’ to start anything.”  
  
Juliet looks at him curiously, turning to look at him as she blinks slowly. “What?”  
  
“I just wanna know, Juliet. Did you love Jack?”  
  
The question throws her off guard but her answer is automatic. “No, James. I didn’t love him. I cared about him. I didn’t want him to be subjected to whatever mind games Ben had going for him. I wanted him to be able to go home. But I didn’t love him.” She feels like she said everything in a rush of breath, and she stares out into the darkness again. “Why did you ask me that?”  
  
He doesn’t say anything, just sips at his beer and after a good four or five minutes she gives up on him ever answering her when suddenly he’s speaking quietly.  
  
“Because I thought I loved Kate. On paper it shoulda worked. But she has this thing for being saved and I ain’t big into that.”  
  
“Jack used me to get to Kate.”  
  
“She used me to get to him, so I guess that makes you an' me a pair.”  
  
Juliet’s head falls against his shoulder and she shifts until he’s wrapping an arm around her. She’s glad that it’s just them, that there’s no one to prove anything to, and she leans until her lips are pressing against his cheek. When he bends his head, his lips are falling over hers, and every thought about Jack and Kate disappears.   
  
They’re gone, and they aren’t coming back.

 

**Day Eighty-One**

They’re both standing at the kitchen counter, red wine slowly dripping from everywhere and running down their faces. It’s stained his jumpsuit and they’re both staring at each other until she starts to laugh. Once she starts she can’t stop, and she’s leaning against him trying to catch her breath.  
  
“Nice move, sticking the knife into the wine bottle to try and push the cork down.”  
  
“I can’t believe it exploded,” she says as she finally reaches for paper towels and starts pressing them against her face.  
  
“Here I thought you were the brains of this operation,” he smirks before unzipping his ruined jump suit to toss into the utility room.  
  
“Apparently, wine is my downfall. Sorry to disappoint you.” She’s grinning though, and he has to grin back because she’s smiling more today than he can ever remember. Juliet moves closer to him, wrapping her arms around his neck. And then she’s kissing him and she tastes like wine and chocolate, and that’s all he cares about. She’s on the counter with her legs wrapped around him before he’s made the decision that they aren’t going all the way back to the bedroom. As soon as she’s naked he rocks against her and into her, her face buried against his neck. His fingers weave through her hair and it doesn’t take long for either one of them to come. Her body is pressing against his, his hands are holding onto her hips.  
  
They’re quiet for a while, until a drop of wine falls from the ceiling directly onto his forehead, and she can’t stop laughing.

 

**Day Eighty-Two**

Juliet’s making her way from Amy’s to her own house when she hears a small voice behind her.  
  
“M…Ms. Burke?”  
  
She turns, and for some reason she didn’t expect to see young Ben Linus standing there, and her smile is sort of frozen in place. It was genuine, but now she’s afraid to drop it because of the look she might accidentally give him. “Benjamin, what are you doing out so late? Your father’s going to worry.”  
  
Both of them know that’s a lie.  
  
“I saw you leaving Amy’s house, and. Well. I wanted to…” He fidgets nervously, and Juliet knows he doesn’t talk much, he never has, but especially not since Annie left the island with her parents. And then she notices the wild flowers he’s trying to hide behind his back. Her stomach drops, remembering when in her first few weeks on the island, he’d presented her with the same type of arrangement after showing her to her new home.  
  
“I wanted to give you these,” he finally says before thrusting the flowers out at her.  
  
She stands there for a minute, staring at the bouquet before realizing she has to reach out to take them. “Thank you, Ben. They’re lovely,” she fake smiles. Thankfully, before she has to figure out something else to say, Roger Linus is yelling from his front porch and Ben runs off. Juliet feels guilty almost immediately, because she knows what could be coming inside the privacy of the house.  
  
Walking up the steps and into her own living room, she closes the door and leans against it, the flowers hanging limply at her side. She’s glad she’s alone as she goes to the kitchen and runs every flower down the garbage disposal.

 

**Day Eighty-Three**

James can usually tell when something’s wrong with Juliet, and today hasn’t been any exception. She left early for work, brushed him off for lunch and now she’s going for a walk after dinner. She hardly ever does that except for when she’s upset, but he’s learned by now that asking her directly only gets him an ‘I’m fine’. So, he follows her down to the beach after giving her a little while to herself, then sits beside her. “You okay?”  
  
“I just…I don’t…is this how it started?”  
  
He’s already confused. “How what started?”  
  
“His…the way Ben thought that I was his. Bringing me here, to the island. Harper…told me once that I looked ‘just like her’. I never…understood…” She frowns as she thinks about it, as she tries to figure it out. “Ben brought me flowers today. The exact same kind he’s going to bring me when I move into my house.”  
  
“You think…he brought you to the island…’cause he remembered you?”  
  
Juliet looks up at James, trying to work it out. “He couldn’t think it’s me though. Never aged at all from 1974 to thirty years from now? Although, there is Richard.” She puts her head in her hands before James pulls her close.  
  
“You ain’t gonna like what I have to say. But there’s nothin’ you can do about it, Juliet. You just gotta…know that this kid ain’t that man yet. Much as I’ve entertained the thought of somethin’ happenin’ to him now so none of that shit ever has to happen, he’s still just a kid.”  
  
She closes her eyes and sighs softly, pressing her forehead against his shoulder. “I know.” And she does; she knows. But that thought is still there: Benjamin Linus brought her to the island because she reminded him of the woman he knew and latched onto in his childhood.  
  
Time travel is a bitch.

 

**Day Eighty-Four**

It rarely happens that they're both off work at the same time when they didn't schedule it on purpose. When they both realized how it was going to work out the night before, they didn't even bother with their usual night time routine. They still read together, but instead of the comfortable silence and occasional reading out loud, it turned into touching which turned into kissing, which turned into finally christening the couch. Even when they made it to bed there was no limit to their exploring. It seemed like there was time to make up for, even if this was a new thing.  
  
In the morning she finds herself waking up facing James, her body curving into his with her head tucked against his chest. She doesn't move at first except to open her eyes, then her hand lazily moves up and down his side to see if he's awake.  
  
"Mornin'," comes her answer, and before she can say anything he's pushing her so that she's on her back and he's over her.  
  
"Good morning yourself," she says with a little grin as he drags his hands up her sides. "What are we going to do with all of this time off today?"  
  
James looks at her with a little smirk. "Don't know what you're plannin' on doin', but I made plans to stay right here."  
  
"Bed all day? I could handle that." She closes her eyes as he bends down to kiss across her neck.  
  
"Humidity's high as hell. Damn tropical island," he mutters. "Good day to stay home."  
  
It is hot; her hair's already sticking to her neck because the window units just don't cut it. She decides not to do anything other than lazily drag her fingers up and down his arms as his lips move up and down her neck. "What you're doing, James, isn't exactly conducive to staying cool."  
  
He pauses and looks up, then backs away from her, holding out his hands and going so far as to turn his back as if getting out of bed. "Alright, Blondie if it's too hot for you..."  
  
Juliet's up instantly, bringing her arms around his shoulders and kissing his cheek. "I never said that. Don't even think about getting out of bed."  
  
James grins, his dimples deep as he twists to pin her down on the bed beneath him. "Can I get back to what I was doin' then?"  
  
She tries not to smile but there's a smirk twitching at her lips anyway and she nods. "Oh, please do."

His lips attach to her neck again, but this time they start a slow slide down her chest. And she's sure he's going to stop at a breast but he keeps moving. Every now and again he pauses, and she shivers when his tongue circles around her naval. But then his mouth moves back up her stomach. Trailing along her left side, he pauses and she feels him smile against her skin.  
  
“You got a birth mark, Blondie.” His tongue circles it, a small mark that looks almost like a stretched out heart. Her gasp inspires him to do it again, and this time her hips jerk. He realizes he’s found a sensitive spot as her legs part and he smirks smugly before his lips move across her torso. He lets his hand dip down, dragging his fingers over her inner thigh but not quite where she wants him. Her whimper almost makes him give in, but instead he drops his mouth down to her stomach again.  
  
Juliet’s had enough. “James,” she gasps, reaching down to tug him back up. When her mouth meets his he groans at the urgency, hips against hers as she rocks against him. Her hand reaches down to wrap around him and he closes his eyes, dropping his forehead to her shoulder. As her hand moves, sometimes fast and sometimes slow in her strokes, he realizes that teasing  _isn’t nice_ , so he presses closer until she has to move her hand.  
  
When he thrusts into her, her back arches and her fingers dig into his shoulders. After everything, neither one of them can handle slow and sweet, so he moves hard and fast, eliciting sharp moans and gasps from her that after a week he’s committed to memory. Dropping his mouth to her chest, he groans when her fingers tug at his hair, trying to pull him up to look at him. As soon as his eyes lock with hers she’s writhing, calling out his name and it’s too much, his hips jerking out of rhythm as he comes with her. His head drops to her chest as he pants, her hands holding him against her tightly.   
  
It’s going to be one hell of a day.

 

**Day Eighty-Five**

Juliet and James are eating dinner, sitting side by side and talking quietly when suddenly their front door is being thrown open. Before either of them has time to react, Miles is standing in the doorway.  
  
“Genghis, what the hell? You can’t just come chargin’ in like you still live here,” James says incredulously.  
  
“Look man,” Miles says as he walks up to the dinner table. “You two.” He points at both of them. “I know you’ve got something going on.”  
  
Juliet looks at him blankly, but she does turn her head ever so slightly to look at James, and silently they agree. “Miles, what are you talking about?” she asks calmly.  
  
He looks exasperated. “You’re living here together, alone all the time, missing work on the same days. Come on; just tell me there’s something going on between you guys.”  
  
James stands up, tossing his napkin on the table. “Think you’ve about outstayed your welcome, but thanks for stoppin’ by. Don’t forget to grab your door prize on the way out,” he says, ushering him towards the door.  
  
“I’m going to bust you two, I swear to God, LaFleur.”  
  
“Why the hell are you so damn eager to catch me an’ Juliet doin’ somethin’? I don’t wanna be a part of whatever you’re into.”  
  
Juliet snorts at that from her place at the table, covering her mouth her fingers as she clears her throat. “Miles, two people can live together without there being any kind of physical attraction. We’re all adults, here.”  
  
Miles shakes his head as he’s pushed through the door. “Uh uh. You two. You’re hiding something. I don’t appreciate being lied to by omission!”  
  
It’s the last thing he gets out before James is tossing the door closed, and he locks it this time before turning to Juliet. “’We’re all adults here’?” He walks back to the table and sits down.  
  
“He would have been here for hours, I had to think of something,” she says with a shrug. “And I have plans for tonight.”  
  
“That so?”  
  
“Mhmmm. Proving the whole physical attraction part wrong,” she says innocently as she sips her water and looks up at him over the glass.  
  
He grins a little, happy to help in the name of research.

 

**Day Eighty-Six**

It’s been a quiet day as far as life at the motor pool goes. She’s cleaning off some of her tools when she hears her name being yelled from across the yard and she turns, shielding her eyes from the sun. She sees James running towards her and she pulls off her gloves to meet him halfway. “What’s wrong?”  
  
He’s out of breath but grabbing her hand and tugging her to a van. “Ricky. Just collapsed, think he’s havin’ a heart attack down at the Orchid.” He gets into the driver’s seat and she’s barely in before he’s driving, pushing the vehicle as fast as it will go.  
  
Juliet’s hands are braced on the dash and the door as she bounces in the seat, and she’s so concentrated on not going through the windshield she can’t ask any questions until they’re stopping. “Where’s Doctor – “   
  
He cuts her off. “Lana don’t trust any doctor off island so he went with her to deliver her baby. Come on, Juliet.” He’s leading her towards a group of people surrounding Ricky who’s still on the ground.  
  
Kneeling next to him, Juliet’s working on pure adrenaline, and she goes through the motions she practiced and studied, gets him awake and into the van with James so that they can go back to the clinic. She treats him there, saves his life, and the nurses are all whispering about the mechanic who knows so much about medicine.  
  
When she finally gets home that night after checking to make sure Ricky will be okay, she finds James in the kitchen and stares at him. “I’m not a doctor, James. Not anymore. Not here.”  
  
He turns and looks at her, closing the fridge. “What the hell else was I supposed to do, let him die?”  
  
She shakes her head. “Then someone should talk to Horace about having a better backup system in place, but I am not that person.”  
  
“Juliet – “  
  
“Promise, James. That you won’t come get me when someone needs a doctor.”  
  
He understands wanting to leave all of that behind but there’s leaving shit behind and then there’s running away from it. He drags a hand down his face, and even though there’s no way in hell he agrees with her, he nods. “Fine. You got a deal.”  
  
She nods and lets out a soft breath before turning to go toward the back of the house. She never wants life and death on this island to be up to her again.

 

**Day Eighty-Seven**

James likes the quiet of the security station when he works graveyard. Sending Phil home is the best kind of authority he’s got, even if officially the rules say there’s gotta be two men on post at all times. He makes Phil keep his walkie talkie on and it’s not like he’s far anyway. If he had to spend more than a few minutes in the room alone with the guy, James is pretty sure he’d knock him out.  
  
The only thing he doesn’t like about the graveyard shift is that it puts him and Juliet on opposite schedules. And after yesterday he still doesn’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing because they haven’t been able to talk. He knows the shit Ben put her through, knows that a lot of women died and she thinks it’s her fault, but he also knows she did a lot of good before she ever came to the island. He thinks that maybe he could get her to remember that and somehow make everything okay. But he dismisses the thought, because the best thing she ever did was for her sister, and he can’t do anything to make not seeing Rachel for over three years okay.  
  
The door opening startles him, because he didn’t see anything on the monitors, and he turns, reaching for his gun. He stops though, mid turn when he sees Juliet. “What are you doin’ here? It’s…” He squints at the clock. “…Three in the mornin’.”  
  
She shrugs a little and moves to the seat next to him. “I couldn’t sleep. I thought maybe you could use the company.” It’s then that she holds up a bag, and inside is a six pack of beer. “Now…normally this is frowned upon, but I hear it’s the ‘70s.”  
  
He grins and takes one of the beers, cracking it open. “I’m startin’ to become a fan.” He watches her open her own beer, then looks back at the monitors. “Nothin’ on t.v. tonight.”  
  
“That’s good,” she says as she leans back, her chair close enough to his that she can put her feet up and let her head rest on his shoulder. “You know, I never sleep when you work graveyard anymore.”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“Mhmm. You ruined me for sleeping alone.”  
  
He tries not to look too proud of himself as he brings an arm around her shoulders. “I’ll just have to schedule the boys first so I ain’t gotta come in ‘til the end of the month.”  
  
They sit like that for a long time, finishing their beers and having random conversation as they look for anything unusual. When they go silent, he thinks about bringing up what she made him promise, but then she’s breaking the silence. “I should go. In case Horace decides to go on one of his early morning ‘spiritual walks’.”   
  
He almost protests that they’ve still got time but then he looks at the clock and realizes it’s five. “Hey, I’ll be home in a couple hours.”  
  
“I’ll be getting ready to leave for the motor pool.”  
  
James blinks a little. “You gotta work? What the hell are you doin’ up all night with me?”  
  
Juliet smiles and stands up, making her way to the door before turning back to look at him. “We wouldn’t have been sleeping anyway.” And with that comment she leaves, content with imagining the look on his face.

 

**Day Eighty-Eight**

“James, could you help me with this  _desk_? It’s so heavy and I’m so tiny.”  
  
James snorts and Juliet snickers after her imitation of Rhonda who’s sitting right at the front of the rec room. The woman is a teacher who looks like she’s about twelve, and Juliet really doesn’t like her. Juliet’s also a little drunk. “Could you imagine? James and  _Rhonda_?” Juliet snickers again.  
  
“Stop it,” he finally chides her, (even though he’s smirking) drawing his arm around her and looking back up at the makeshift projector screen that’s currently showing  _Chinatown_. James loves this movie and the scene with Evelyn and Gittes is playing out on the screen. “She’s my daughter,” he says quietly with the movie.  
  
“She’s my sister!” Juliet stages whispers.  
  
“She’s my daughter,” he says back.  
  
“My sister, my daughter!”  
  
“I said I want the truth!” and they’re right in line with the movie.  
  
“She’s my sister AND my daughter!” Juliet says loudly with Faye Dunaway, and Amelia turns from the front row with a stern look that sets Juliet off into a fit of laughter. There’s something to be said about being from the future and already having seen the movie. She can’t recover though, no matter how hard she tries to stop laughing, and eventually James pushes himself up from the couch with her, tugging at her hand to get her to follow. As soon as they’re outside, she bends over in laughter. “God, all of these people are so…so…ridiculous, James.”  
  
He looks at her, a little caught up in how she’s laughing and relaxed, and he pulls her close to kiss her, tasting the strawberry margaritas she’d had at Amy’s before the movie. She relaxes against him and sighs, bringing her arms around his neck. “Let’s go home,” she breathes against his mouth, and he’s pretty damn sure he’s never heard of a better idea in his life.

 

**Day Eighty-Nine**

“I can’t believe you let your hair get so long,” Juliet murmurs as she combs and cuts, concentrating on the task at hand. She can’t bring herself to cut it too short, though, so she just works on making it look less scraggly.  
  
“In case you haven’t noticed, we’re on an island. Not like there’s a barber shop around the corner,” he smirks, and he chuckles when she swats him playfully.  
  
“Don’t be a smart ass,” she says softly as she combs his hair out.  
  
He’s enjoying the feel of her fingers in his hair when for just a second he’s thinking about being on the beach. Which makes him think about Kate doing this same thing, and it feels like it was a lifetime ago, but it wasn’t really that far back was it? He tenses and Juliet assumes she must have nicked him somewhere because she’s apologizing, and he just sits there. He’s over Kate, doesn’t need to see her again, but then there’s a question in his gut of what would have happened if this where him and Kate instead of him and Juliet. He feels like a son of a bitch for even wondering.  
  
There’d been a time not that long ago that he would’ve had no problem trying to juggle two women at the same time. Hell, that’d been part of his job for half his life. Make a mark,  _pretend_  to be in love, then cut and run. But now the idea of all of that makes his stomach twist a little, and that makes him realize that this life with Juliet is better than anything he’s ever had.  
  
The problem is that this time, he’s not pretending.

 

**Day Ninety**

Juliet’s standing next to Amy and they’re both staring into Juliet’s closet.  
  
“You don’t even have a skirt.”  
  
“Where the hell am I going to wear a skirt working at the motor pool?”  
  
“Come on Juliet, you don’t live at the motor pool. There are plenty of events you could wear a skirt to. Remember the dance?”  
  
“Yeah, the one with Kevin the Hostile?”  
  
Amy makes a face. “Sorry. But you get my point. And Christmas  _and_  New Years is coming up. Don’t you want to look nice for James?”  
  
Juliet rolls her eyes. “I’m not twelve.” She sighs. “But I know. I don’t have anything…cute.” She makes her own face at that word.  
  
“I brought you some things,” Amy says as she goes to her bag she’d dumped on the bed. "There’s a full on dress in here that yes, you’re going to try on.” She pulls it out and hands it to Juliet, then points in the direction of the bathroom. “Go, I’m not leaving until you put it on.”  
  
Biting her tongue, Juliet turns and goes into the bathroom, but she has to smile a little because this is almost like having a bossy sister again, and it’s having a real friend for the first time in years. Changing into the dress, she looks at herself in the mirror. It’s cotton so that it’ll breathe on the island, has spaghetti straps, and hits just below her knees. The color is a very faint shade of pink that Juliet probably wouldn’t have ever picked for herself, and there are tiny blue flowers embroidered across the hem for the added hippie touch. When she comes out of the bathroom, Amy’s squeal damn near knocks her back.  
  
“Juliet, you look good in that dress. Better than I ever did, that’s for sure. You have to wear that for the New Year’s party.”  
  
“Really?” Juliet asks, as she turns and looks at herself in the mirror. “I don’t have any shoes – “ Before she can finish her sentence, Amy’s pulling out a pair of matching heels. “I should have known.”  
  
Amy grins. “Let’s pick what you’re wearing next week for Christmas.”  
  
Juliet shakes her head even as she smiles at Amy’s enthusiasm. Over the years, she’s forgotten how nice it is to dress up, and she’s silently excited at the idea of dressing up for James.


	4. Month Four

**Day Ninety-One**

Juliet’s curled up against James, her fingers moving up and down his chest as they both catch their breath in the dark. Her heart’s still slamming in her chest and she takes a deep breath, expecting to feel him pull her closer but he doesn’t. All night he’s been a little distant, and she knows that something is wrong; she just has no idea what. Reaching out, she strokes her fingers across his cheek. “Hey. Where are you?” she asks gently.  
  
James looks down at her and tries to offer a smile, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “I’m right here. Just thinkin’.”  
  
“About what?”  
  
He shifts, then sits up, running a hand through his hair. “Everything. Bein’ here, you, us.”  
  
Her heart catches a little and she sits up beside him, trying to pick her words carefully. “What about me and us?”  
  
“You think they’re comin’ back?”  
  
She stiffens a little and doesn’t answer for a long time. This was about Kate. Finally, she finds her voice again. “I don’t know.”  
  
“I don’t want them to.”  
  
That, she isn’t expecting, and she looks up at him. “You don’t want Kate to come back?”  
  
James gives her a look. “Why the hell would I want Kate back? I’m with you.”  
  
The relief that floods her features must be obvious, because he pulls her against him. “It ain’t like that, Blondie. I just…this is good. You and me. And I ain’t exactly in a rush to leave.”  
  
Juliet presses her forehead against his arm affectionately. “Me either.”  
  
Both of James’ arms wrap around her at that, and he pulls her down so that they’re lying down again. “I ain’t good at being sentimental,” he warns.  
  
She smiles softly. “I know. No rush.”  
  
They fall asleep together, content that they have time for sentimentalities later.

 

**Day Ninety-Two**

All that James really wants to do is grab a beer, sit on the couch, and read. It’s been a long day, even by Dharmaville standards. When he walks into the house though, he realizes he’s going to have to change his plans. There’s wrapping paper everywhere, but only three presents to show for it, and she’s wrapping a fourth. But there’s so much  _paper_  it looks like Santa’s workshop exploded. And she’s sitting right on the floor, hair a little out of place as she tapes something up. “Wrap presents much, Juliet?”  
  
She looks up and glares at him. “I’m not very good at it, okay? I can never get the corners.” Her glare turns into a little smile though. “I got them all done, now I just have to hide yours.”  
  
“You got me somethin’?”  
  
“Of course I did,” she replies, and she’s a little surprised at his question. “Why wouldn’t I?”  
  
He shrugs a little, unzipping his jump suit and deciding to go grab that beer after all. But he still answers her. “Haven’t really gotten a present on Christmas in a while.”  
  
She can tell he doesn’t want to talk about it, but she stares at his back as she speaks. “Yeah? Personally it’s been about three years.” Then she stands to start cleaning up all the paper. She doesn’t expect him to keep the conversation going.  
  
“The last present I got from my momma was a train set. For a while, until I was sixteen probably, I got other shit for Christmas, but all I ever cared about was that last one. After that,” he shrugs. “Didn’t matter.”  
  
When he finally turns back to her, Juliet’s not moving, and she gives him a tender look before throwing away the discarded paper and making her way to him. Wrapping her arms loosely around his waist, she looks up at him. “I got you a present. But you have to wait until Christmas to open it.”  
  
James holds onto her, managing to smile before dropping a kiss to her forehead. “Alright, Blondie. Whatever you say.”  
  
She grins and kisses him, and he realizes that for the first time in years, something matters.

 

**Day Ninety-Three**

As soon as she jerks awake, Juliet feels James bolting upright too, and instantly his arms are reaching for her and she’s trying to catch her breath. She hasn’t woken up this way since they’d first started living in Dharmaville, and her hands hold onto his arms as she shakes.  
  
“Hey,” he says softly, fingers running slowly through her hair. “I got you, it’s okay.” His voice is low and reassuring, and she listens to his heartbeat to calm her down.  
  
“Sorry,” she mumbles, a little embarrassed now that she’s awake.  
  
“Hey,” he shrugs like it’s no big deal, because it isn’t. “You wanna talk about it?”  
  
She runs a hand through her hair, pulling away enough to shift into a comfortable position against him. “The flaming arrows. I had a dream about that night on the beach.”  
  
“Tough night,” he says quietly, his hand moving up and down her back in slow rhythmic strokes.  
  
“It was you. In my dream one of the arrows hit you.” She hates that she can still see it vividly, and she closes her eyes tightly, curling herself against him.  
  
James wraps his arms around her a little tighter. “I ain’t goin’ nowhere, Blondie. Don’t worry about me.”  
  
Trying to push the nightmare away, Juliet closes her eyes. Just before she drifts off, she manages to say something else, her sentence trailing off at the end. “Don’t go anywhere…”  
  
He’s surprised but realizes she’s asleep again before he can ask her why she’d ever think he was going anywhere at all.

 

**Day Ninety-Four**

James can’t find his razor in the morning, and he's pretty damn sure he left it on the sink in the smaller bathroom that just has the toilet and the sink. He listens to the noises of the house for a minute, hearing the water running in the other bathroom. This is the good thing about living with one person, you know by default who the culprit is. Going to the main bathroom, he doesn’t knock first before walking in, but he does call out. “Juliet, you got my razor?”  
  
“What razor?”  
  
Her reply is too innocent and he pulls back the shower curtain, catching her red handed with one leg up on the edge of the tub, shaving. “I wasn’t walking all the way across the barracks just to get more razors before my shower,” she explains.  
  
He’s too distracted to answer, his eyes taking her in, naked and dripping wet, and before she can say another thing he’s kissing her, pulling her against him and not really giving a damn that she's soaking his clothes. He starts pulling them off, her hands helping, and they manage to get him naked without breaking their kiss for too long. He’s never been happier that she decided to start birth control, because he’s not sure he would have had the patience to go all the way to their bedroom. Stepping into the shower with her, he presses her against the wall, lips dropping to her neck to collect the water that’s beading there. Her hands are in his hair, and she gasps loud enough to be heard over the water when he bites down softly on her shoulder.

He’s never been a fan of taking a shower with someone else in the past, but as his hand slides down her side he thinks maybe he just wasn’t taking showers with the right kind of woman. His head bends even more, following the water down the curve of her breast until his mouth is falling around a nipple and she’s arching into him. Her fingers have moved out of his hair and are raking down his back.  
  
“James, please, don’t…I need…I want you…”  
  
James is sure he’s never heard her beg for anything and he almost loses it right then as his hands move to grasp her around the waist. One of her arms moves around his shoulders and one hand reaches out to grasp the handle of the soap dish as her legs wrap around him. Then he’s in her and she’s louder than he’s ever heard her before and no way is this going to last long. He moves fast and hard, watching her face, her eyes closed, her lips parted, and she’s so damn beautiful that he can’t stop. Her eyes open and they’re focused on him until she comes apart, her hips jerking against his until he’s coming too, burying his face in her neck as he tries to hold onto her and keep them both standing under the water.  
  
Juliet’s trailing her lips across his jaw until her lips find his, and she stands on her own two feet, wrapping both arms around his neck. They’re both quiet, catching their breath, but he’s the first one to break the silence.  
  
“Gimmie my damn razor.”  
  
She laughs and he grins, stealing another kiss.

 

**Day Ninety-Five**

As soon as Juliet is shaking his shoulder, James groans and blinks open an eye. Glancing at the clock he covers his eyes with his arm. “Six in the morning, Blondie are you kiddin’?”  
  
“Come on, I can’t sleep,” she protests. “And it’s Christmas.”  
  
“Present’s ain’t goin’ anywhere are they?” he asks as he pulls at her arm, tugging her back down into the bed. She ends up straddling him and he smirks.  
  
“You’re awake anyway,” she points out, then gets up. “Hang on.”  
  
He hears her rummaging in the living room, and truth be told, he’s putting off giving her his own gift because he’s not any damn good at figuring out what anyone would want for Christmas, let alone Juliet. He gets up though, putting on a pair of boxers before reaching into his sock drawer and pulling out a long jewelry case. He puts it under his pillow and gets back into bed, resting his arms on his knees.  
  
She comes back in and hands him his gift, neatly wrapped despite the wrapping paper disaster area a couple days ago. “Merry Christmas,” she says with a little grin, sitting next to him on the bed. He unwraps it and staring back at him is a set of baseball cards from 1970-1973. “I heard you telling Miles about the cards you had as a kid,” she says quietly. “How they all got lost.”  
  
He doesn’t even really hear her because they didn’t get lost, his dad got drunk and tore them all up, but here they are, right here, and he looks up at her, clearing his throat. “This is perfect, Blondie.” He pulls her close, hugging her for a long time before reaching under his pillow to give her his gift. “I’m worse at wrappin’ gifts than you are, so…” And suddenly he’s self-conscious as hell because he’s never seen her wear jewelry, but then again maybe that’s just because they’d been running through the damn jungle and she’d never grabbed any on her way out the door three years ago. Jewelry is cliché, and he’s cussing in his head, but it’s too late now.  
  
Juliet opens the box and pulls out a delicate gold chain with a flower pendant that he figured was just enough to not make her roll her eyes. He watches her carefully as she pulls it out, then smiles softly. “Like a yellow flower?” she asks, and her arms are around him again.  
  
“That, and it has the hippie flower power thing goin’ on too,” he jokes as he puts the necklace on her, clasping it behind her neck. “Looks good,” he admires. He doesn’t get much more out before she’s pulling him against her, and he’s glad she woke him up.

 

**Day Ninety-Six**

Juliet’s on her third glass of wine, which means she’s not drunk, but she’s lightly buzzed and James definitely has an appreciation for lightly buzzed Juliet. Amy’s serving food and Horace is trying to help, doing what he can. Juliet doesn’t notice the way James is nudging her until he goes too far and hits the leg of the table and everyone looks over at him. He clears his throat and makes some joke about laying off the alcohol, and when both Horace and Amy’s backs are turned he leans over to Juliet.  
  
“Horace is hittin’ on Amy.”  
  
“I know. He’s terrible at it.”  
  
James and Juliet both smirk, but when Amy turns they’re the picture of innocence. “I hope the turkey is alright, I don’t really know with how long I cooked it…”  
  
Juliet waves her off. “It’s fine Amy, carve the bird so we can eat.” They just had turkey last month, but she’s made up some excuse about ham being traumatic, and it’s partly true. She  _hates_ baked ham.  
  
Once the turkey is sliced, everyone gives a kind of cheer and they pass around their plates. And when Horace puts his hand on Amy’s arm, Juliet gives a well placed kick to James’ shin. “Ouch! Damnit!”   
  
Horace looks up, his hand dropping to his lap quickly. “James, is there a problem?”  
  
“Nah, boss. Just got a Charlie horse is all. I’m sure it’ll be fine.” And he says that through gritted teeth, sending a glare to Juliet.  
  
The rest of dinner is uneventful except for the raucous conversation and more drinking, but when Horace gets up to help Amy and his hand goes to the small of her back, James and Juliet look at each other, each of them trying to make sure the other one sees. And then Juliet realizes that this is the most normal holiday she’s had in three years, and she doesn’t hesitate to pull James into a kiss, grinning against his mouth when Horace snaps a picture, capturing them in the moment.

 

**Day Ninety-Seven**

James has two days on the mid shift, and after that he gets to take a vacation until the third of January. So while this completely sucks, he doesn’t mind the trade off. He’s eating some leftovers from Amy’s dinner when Jin nudges him. “Juliet,” he says, gesturing to the monitors.  
  
Leaning forward, he studies the t.v. right in the middle of them all, one that’s focused on the outdoor recreational area. He checks the time, realizing it’s about nine as she sits down on a swing. He’s trying to figure out if she’s upset or what, and her head rests against the chain as she rocks herself back and forth slowly. He thinks about going to talk to her, take an early break, but something tells him to leave her alone and let her swing. He watches though, as her legs start moving faster and suddenly she’s up high, her hair flying out behind her. Jin’s watching too, and James almost wants to turn it off. Before he can, Juliet’s stopping herself, dragging her feet through the dirt until she’s standing up again.  
  
Pushing a hand through her hair she looks around, and he sees her eyes searching until she finally finds the camera. She smiles up at it, using the smile that’s reserved for him, then turns to walk home. When he finally tears his eyes away from the screen, Jin is looking at him, and he expects to get some kind of shit for that, but Jin just nods knowingly before leaning back in his chair again.  
  
James wonders what Jin thinks he knows before willing time to go by faster.

 

**Day Ninety-Eight**

When he walks into the house it’s dark, just after midnight. He takes off his boots right at the front door just like she always tells him too, then unzips his jumpsuit and drops it off in the utility room on his way to the bedroom. There’s a second when he contemplates a beer, but what’s waiting for him in bed wins out. Gently, he pushes the door open; he has no idea what it is with her and having to sleep with the door closed, but he thinks it makes it too damn hot, so he leaves it open.  
  
Juliet’s on his side of the bed, on her stomach and face pressing against his pillow, and to his absolute delight, completely naked. The sheet’s down around her lower back and he sits down next to her legs to pull off his socks. When the bed dips, she stirs and shifts a little so that she can blink up at him sleepily. “Hey.”  
  
He smiles a little, voice soft in the quiet of the room. “Hey. Didn’t mean to wake you up.”  
  
“You didn’t, I just laid down about a half hour ago. I told you, I don’t really sleep when you’re not here.”  
  
He leans down so that his lips brush across her cheek. “You gotta get more sleep, Blondie.”  
  
Juliet rolls over gracefully, then trails her fingers up and down his arm. “How was work?”  
  
He stands, just to take off the rest of his clothes, then gets into bed next to her. She doesn’t hesitate before moving into his arms, nestling right against him. “Borin’. Phil wouldn’t go home this time, so I spent the night tryin’ not to kill him. But, at least it’s been a quiet night for Dharmaville.”  
  
“Mmm. And now you’re on vacation. What are you going to do with all those days off?”  
  
Somehow, she’s made her way over him and he’s really not sure when it happened but he’s not complaining. “Figured I’d do a little cleanin’, cook dinner for you. Since you’ll still be slavin’ away at the motor pool.”  
  
Trailing her fingers across his chest, she grins a little. “Not tomorrow. I have one more vacation day I have to use before the end of the year. No idea how, but Horace told me to use it or lose it.”  
  
A slow smile spreads across James’ face because a day where he can just stay in bed all day with her sounds good right about now. “Well hell, Blondie, I’d say that’s cause for celebration.”  
  
She leans down to let her lips brush against his. “What do you think I’m trying to do?”  
  
He gets the hint and gives in, letting her take the lead to  _celebrate_.

 

**Day Ninety-Nine**

Juliet stretches out in the bed around three in the afternoon, the sheets wrapped somewhere around her legs as she rolls lazily into James’ side. “Are we really staying in bed all day?” she asks as her mouth drops to his chest, her hair lightly grazing across his skin.  
  
“We could always go to the other bedroom,” he smirks as his fingers thread through her hair and he closes his eyes.  
  
She never would have been willing to spend an entire day in bed with anyone in the past, but then again, this is James. She has no reason to want to get out of bed when he’s just as naked as she is. “I’m getting hungry,” she says, and before he can say the dangerous innuendo, she raises an eyebrow at him. He smirks because he knows she was thinking about what he could have said. Instead of saying it though, he’s pushing himself out of the bed and slipping boxers on.  
  
“Guess you’re lucky I’m takin’ orders then.”  
  
“That’s a first.”  
  
He turns and throws his pillow at her. “What do you want from the kitchen? I’m stockin’ up.”  
  
“The fruit out of the fridge. I already have it cut up in a bowl.”  
  
“Where’s your sense of adventure and gettin’ crumbs in the bed? Don’t you want somethin’ that’ll give you more energy?” he leers teasingly.  
  
“You’re disgusting, you know that? Fruit,” she emphasizes before dropping back down onto the bed. When he walks out, she grins to herself and rolls over to rest her head on his pillow.  
  
They need days off together more often.

 

**Day One-Hundred**

It’s hot as hell inside their house, even after two in the morning because the damn window unit went out again. She’s close to standing under a cold shower when suddenly James is getting up, throwing on a pair of jeans and a shirt. “You think you can get us a van?”  
  
She looks at him, a little thrown off by his sudden movements but she nods. “Yeah, I think so…” She watches as he grabs a blanket and a six pack. “Where are we going?”  
  
“Let me worry about that, come on.”  
  
She’s only wearing a tank top and shorts, but she slips on shoes and walks out of the house with him down to the motor pool. “We’re never going to be able to start this without waking up half the barracks.”  
  
“We’re gonna push it first.” He opens the driver’s side door to one of the vans and she moves to the back to shove. Somehow they get far enough away to deem it safe to start, and they both get in. He drives until she looks at him curiously, and then he’s stopping at the far edges of the North valley. They’re on a grassy cliff, and over the edge she can hear the ocean, water slamming on the rocks below. She watches him spread out the blanket and set the beer down, then take off his shirt. “You gonna join me?” he asks with a smirk.  
  
Shaking her head with a little smile, she drops down next to him, kicking off her shoes to match his that are also discarded. Handing her a can, they both open one at the same time and she stares out into the darkness. Every now and then she sees a flicker of light – fireflies in the dark. “How’d you find this place?”  
  
“Hey. You find a lot of things when you’re searching the island every day.”  
  
“How long are you going to keep doing that?”  
  
He takes a pull of his beer. “’Til someone shows up I guess.”  
  
“You said you don’t want anyone to show up.”  
  
“Just ‘cause I don’t want ‘em to, don’t mean they won’t.”  
  
Juliet sighs a little and leans against him, curling into his side when he lifts his arm for her. The air is cooler out here, there’s a breeze from the ocean below them, and she can feel her skin starting to cool. The quiet between them is content, and she closes her eyes. She has no idea how long she’s laid against him like that, but she’s pulled out of her thoughts when his lips fall against the top of her head. She lifts up to look at him and his mouth lands against hers, her hand moving up to cradle his face. They kiss like that for a while until he pulls her right into his lap, hands roaming under her tank top until she tugs it off.  
  
Somehow they manage to get the rest of their clothes off and she rocks into him, moving against him until he’s pressing into her, and she buries her face against his neck, clutching at his shoulders as they move together slowly. His hands are all over her, his mouth on her neck and chest, and the pace is wonderfully agonizing. The tension builds in the pit of her stomach slowly until she’s shaking, and finally she gasps out his name and writhes against him while his hips jerk in return.  
  
When they’re still, her head drops to his shoulder, his fingers stroking through her hair. They don’t move again until the sky starts to turn pink and they both know someone’s up to notice the van missing.  
  
Their night is worth Juliet’s write up the next day.

 

**Day One-Hundred-One**

They’re sitting on the porch at midnight, listening to the sounds of the New Year’s party going on in the rec center and he bends down to kiss her. “Welcome to 1975, Blondie.”  
  
She gives a soft laugh of disbelief as she kisses him back, then looks out at the dark again. “I’m pretty sure this was a good year. I’ll be five this year.” She holds out her hand, palm up and stares at it as if suddenly her life will start unfolding right there.  
  
“I’ll be seven.” He reaches down to trace his finger over her open hand.  
  
“Rachel cut off all my hair this year,” Juliet says with a smirk. “There was no saving it, I looked like a little boy for a while.”  
  
James brings a hand to her hair, and it’s got a slight curl to it from the humidity, but he can’t imagine her with short hair. “You ever cut it again?”  
  
“Not above my shoulders. Never.”  
  
They lapse into silence, and he squeezes her hand, looking out into the distance. “I could get on that sub today. Make sure my mom never meets Tom Sawyer.”  
  
Juliet’s heart catches as she looks over at James, and she’s about to open her mouth, but he’s already speaking.  
  
“I know I can’t.”  
  
She holds his gaze for a long time before pulling him close, trying not to think that if the boy James hadn’t become Sawyer, the chain of events bringing him to the island (and her) never would have happened.  
  
It makes her feel terrible.

 

**Day One-Hundred-Two**

Juliet’s alone in the motor pool for the most part. The guy in charge, Brian, is in the office going over paperwork and everyone else is celebrating the fact that they have vacation time again. She knows better than to use all of hers now – there are days a person just doesn’t feel like leaning over a jeep for four hours. As it is now, she’s under a van, humming to the sounds of Geronimo Jackson coming from a beat up record player that has the worst sound quality she’s ever heard. That’s what they all got for leaving it outside, even if it is covered.  
  
The break in between songs allows her to hear the sound of familiar footsteps and she’s smiling even before she’s all the way out from under the vehicle. “Hey,” she says as she reaches out her hand to him, and he helps her up.  
  
“Hey yourself.” He pulls her against him, leaning down to kiss her since no one’s around. “Lunch?”  
  
“That depends on where you’re taking me, LaFleur.”  
  
“New place that opened up ‘round the corner.”  
  
Juliet grins. “I heard that place is expensive.”  
  
“Don’t go taken’ the romance out of it with prices,” he complains as they sit down on a bench under a tree and he hands over a brown paper sack.   
  
“So, what are we having?”  
  
“Left over chicken turned into chicken salad,” he says with a flourish.  
  
“Someone was busy this morning,” Juliet replies with an arch of an eyebrow.  
  
“And the sheets are washed, and I cleaned the kitchen.”  
  
“Look at you go, my own Martha Stewart.”  
  
“Well, what else am I gonna do while you’re here?”  
  
“Are you saying you only keep me around to cure the boredom, James?” She teases before taking a bite of her sandwich.  
  
“Well, that and you’re hot,” he smirks back before taking a bite of his own sandwich, then producing two cans of soda.  
  
“Miles would give you so much shit for going domestic.”  
  
“What does he know about anythin’ anyway? Maybe if he cleaned Mindy or Marla or Marci’s kitchen once in a while he’d have less to bitch about.”  
  
Juliet snorts in amusement and they finish their meal in content silence. When she’s done, she sighs softly. “I better get back to work. That van won’t fix its self.” She stands and walks to the nearby trashcan, throwing away her things. When she turns, he’s behind her wrapping his arms around her waist and bending to press his forehead against hers. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, wrapping her arms around him.  
  
He opens his mouth to say something but stops, instead pulling back to kiss her again before letting her go. “See ya after work, Blondie.”  
  
She gives him a little wave before turning back towards the motor pool, looking forward to five o’clock.

 

**Day One-Hundred-Three**

“I was once pressured into repairing a car that had its engine blown in less than four hours. I can’t even begin to tell you how I did it.”  
  
Juliet’s staring passively at this woman, Susan, and it’s all she can do to not roll her eyes. She’s been here for an hour, and already it feels like a lifetime. All that Juliet can think is that she’s going to have to hear this British woman talk about how amazing she is every single day.  
  
“Oh, the vans here are easy, can’t believe it’d take anyone more than a day to repair anything on one of them.”  
  
James is back at work, his vacation over, and Juliet looks up at the motor pool camera, sending it a glare that makes the chatter around her stop.  
  
“Excuse me, I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced. I’m –“  
  
“Susan, I know,” Juliet says with a fake smile, not bothering to shake her hand. “Must be tough coming to the island where you won’t be challenged enough.” For a split second Juliet wonders exactly how long Susan would last running from the smoke monster.  
  
Susan pish-poshes or whatever the hell. “Oh, I’m not worried. And I figure I’ll be the hero around here: fix everything into shape and give the rest of you a vacation when nothing needs servicing.”  
  
Juliet’s about to really lose it when a particular Southern drawl carries to her ears. “Afternoon. Would love to see some of you boys with some tools in your hands.” James isn’t even in charge of the motor pool, but head of security means control over everything, and the people lingering around Susan scatter. She, however, stays in her spot.  
  
“Hello, I’m Susan Marsh,” she smiles at James, and Juliet does roll her eyes this time.  
  
“Saw you come in off the sub, Susan. Jim LaFleur. Hope you don’t mind, I came to steal away Juliet.” He takes Juliet by the arm and starts walking with her before Susan has a chance to protest. Once they’re out of earshot, Juliet lets loose.  
  
“She’s going to do all of  _my_  work because it’s easy, and she’ll have everything repaired in less than four hours because she’s used to  _pressure_.”  
  
James looks mildly amused. “Miles is in the security station laughing his ass off over the look you gave that camera.”  
  
“Yeah, I’d love to stick him in a room with Susan.”  
  
He’s silently thoughtful for a minute. “You know who’d get along great with her?”  
  
Juliet calms down long enough to look at James, curious to see where this is going.  
  
“Phil. Her an’ Phil would love each other.”  
  
The idea’s so ridiculous that she forgets about being pissed and starts laughing.  
  
“Forget about Sally.”  
  
“Susan.”  
  
“Whatever. I signed you out for the day. You’re on special assignment with the head of security.”  
  
Juliet looks at him gratefully and walks with him down to the station, never once looking back at the motor pool.

 

**Day One-Hundred-Four**

James emerges from the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist, to find Juliet in bed already. The bedside lamp is on and she’s staring intently into a mirror, plucking her eyebrows. He doesn’t complain about much, not really, but this seems weird. “You gotta do that in bed?”  
  
“This lamp has the best light,” she says casually, like he’s supposed to know why the hell there needs to be an unusual amount of brightness.  
  
“The bathroom’s bright. So’s the living room.” He drops the towel and puts on boxers, aware that Juliet stops what she’s doing for a minute to watch this process.  
  
“There are worse things I could do in bed. Do you seriously have an issue with this?”  
  
He gets into bed next to her, slipping on his glasses and reaching for a book. “Blondie, if you wanna pluck your damn eyebrows in bed, go ahead.”  
  
“I could just let them grow. I’d look like Constance Lantz in the cafeteria by the end of the month.”  
  
He knows this isn’t really worth arguing about, so he looks over at her. “Pluck away then, I can’t kiss you if your eyebrows are connected.”  
  
Smirking, she glances at him, watches him read for a second, then gets up out of bed. She disappears for a while, and when she comes back it’s without her mirror and tweezers. Crawling in next to him, she presses against his side and throws the sheets over her when he lifts his arm to accommodate her.  
  
“What happened to your torture tools?”  
  
“I finished in the living room.”  
  
“Well, you don’t look like Constance,” he says in mock relief.  
  
“So does that mean you can kiss me?”  
  
Putting his book down on the table, he removes his glasses and pulls her up, studying her for a minute. Reaching out his palm he cradles her face, then tugs her down into a kiss. When she sighs his name into his mouth, he can only think one thing with any real coherency:  
  
He loves this woman.

 

**Day One-Hundred-Five**

Juliet’s lying with her head in James’ lap as he reads out loud. She starts out paying attention, but it was a long day – it’s been a long week – and soon her eyes start staying closed for longer intervals every time she blinks. His hand starts moving through her hair every time it’s free, and that combined with the sound of his voice has her dozing. She doesn’t even realize it when he’s stopped reading and started focusing solely on untangling any stray knots in her hair with his fingers so that his path back and forth is smooth.  
  
“Hey, Juliet,” he says, his voice a low timbre just in case she’s fallen fully asleep.  
  
“Hmmm?”  
  
He halfway hadn’t expected her to respond, so now he has to say something to fill the silence. Clearing his throat a little, he watches her face. And shit, he hadn’t expected to be this nervous and how chicken shit is it to tell her when she’s half asleep?  
  
“I love you.”  
  
It takes her a minute to realize what he’s said, but when she does, her eyes open and suddenly she’s wide awake as she sits up quickly. Staring at him, her face isn’t showing anything other than what she wants, but she can’t hide the way her eyes look as she focuses on him. He can’t tell what it is, if it’s fear or hope, or what. So he just repeats what he said.  
  
“I love you, Juliet.” He wants to add more to that, but there is nothing else. He loves her. That’s all it should be.  
  
She opens her mouth to say something back, her eyes focusing on a spot behind him. She knows she has to say something, he’s staring at her and she wants to pick her words carefully, but the first thing that comes out of her mouth is without a filter.  
  
“It’s only been a couple of months. How could you know that you love me?”  
  
He’s so shocked by that response that he blinks a little and can’t move as she gets up. “I’m sorry, James, I…we just…” Her apology spurs him into movement, and he feels like a jackass because he knew he shouldn’t have said anything in the first damn place.   
  
“I get it, Juliet. You got dealt assholes in the past, you think I’m one of ‘em. I  _get it_.” He goes to the door and opens it. “I’ll be at Jin and Miles’.” He slams the door when he goes, and for the first time since her encounter with Kevin in the jungle, she feels completely and utterly alone.

 

**Day One-Hundred-Six**

Juliet hasn’t spent a night tossing and turning in a long while. She tries arranging his pillows so that she’s draped across them but it isn’t the same. They smell like him though, and she presses her face against one as she wonders whether or not she just made an incredible mistake. She can’t stop seeing his face when she stared at him after he told her he loved her, the unmistakable hurt that had been there. She feels terrible, knowing that she had something good right in front of her, and she just ruined it.  
  
Getting up, she walks to the living room and curls herself on the couch. It’s not comfortable but at least it doesn’t smell like him. Not the way the pillows do. Covering herself up with a throw blanket, she wonders if he’s having as hard a time sleeping as she is. Part of her thinks no, that he has no reason to feel guilty, but another part of her hopes that when they’re apart like this he doesn’t sleep either. It’s a selfish thought coming from someone who questioned the fact that he loved her. But she doesn’t understand, she doesn’t see why he would bother with her when plenty of women throw themselves at him.  
  
Juliet tries to stop thinking, to shut off her brain so that she can sleep, but she can’t stop seeing the way James had his arms wrapped around Kate the day Juliet joined the survivor’s camp. It wasn’t really that long ago, was it? Certainly not long enough to feel nothing for a woman who’d screamed that she loved him.  
  
She spends the rest of the night staring at the wall in front of her, thinking about history, thinking about the book she’s reading, about what the child version of herself is getting into. Anything but James.

 

**Day One-Hundred-Seven**

Sleeping on Jin and Miles’ couch was not the way James thought his night was going to go. He didn’t know what he’d been expecting from her, but it wasn’t _how do you know?_. He didn’t go home the next day either, and Miles gave him shit about being in a fight with the wife, and James damn near hit him. The only person who really knew that he and Juliet were serious and not just having fun was Jin, who kept throwing James looks that made him think he’d been better off sleeping on Phil’s couch.  
  
The next morning he can’t take it anymore, so he walks back home, stopping to pick a yellow flower on the way. He’s trying to think of what he’s going to say to her, and then he’s walking into the house, finding her staring up at him from the couch. He knows right then that she’d tried sleeping out here, and then he remembers that she said she can’t sleep without him in the house. He feels like a dick for leaving now, even though it was her fault he left in the first place.  
  
“You wanna know? How I know I love you?” he asks, really wishing he’d thought of something beforehand. “’Cause I ain’t ever said those words to anyone, and it wasn’t a con. Not since my momma died. You got my back, you believe in me. Hell, I’ll pick these all damn day if it makes you happy.” He drops the flower onto the coffee table. “There ain’t a reason in the world you should be with a guy like me, especially ‘cause you know everythin’ about me. And you could treat me like some damn criminal, but it’s like that don’t even matter. So there it is, Juliet. I love you.”  
  
Juliet’s staring at him and she sits up, reaching for his hand. When he takes it, she tugs him down next to her. “What do you want from me?” she asks quietly, because the words ‘I love you’ are stuck in her throat.  
  
“You do what you feel like you gotta do. And if that’s me leavin’ for right now…”  
  
“No,” she says quickly, tightening her grip on him. “I just…I need you.”  
  
“I ain’t goin’ anywhere.”  
  
She reaches out for him and hugs him tightly, pressing her face against his neck. “Can we go to bed?”  
  
He hasn’t slept, same as her, so he stands up, pulling her with him. And he still doesn’t know how this is going to be okay, but it’s Juliet. He’ll wait.

 

**Day One-Hundred-Eight**

All that she and James do is sleep. She has no idea what time it is when she actually blinks her eyes open; just that it’s dim in the room and she’s tangled up with James. Looking up, she finds him awake and watching her, and she smiles just a little. “What time is it?”  
  
His fingers are playing with her hair idly. “Little after eight.”  
  
“At night?” she asks in surprise. “We slept an entire day away?”  
  
“That’s what happens when you try to sleep on a couch, Blondie.” His hands move to her hips to tug her closer before he bends down to capture her lips with his. There’s a certain sense of urgency, he needs her, needs to know that even after what he told her she’s not pulling away. He rolls with her, pinning her down underneath him, and even though he can because now she knows, he doesn’t tell her he loves her again. She wasn’t ready for that – she isn’t ready for that. But he’ll be damned if he doesn’t keep showing her somehow.

Tugging her shirt over her head, he drops soft kisses to her chest and down the curve of her left breast before taking the nipple between his lips. Her quiet moan spurs him on, and she brings a hand down to drag through his hair slowly. He moves to the other side and his fingers start swirling circles over her stomach, with every pass getting lower. She tenses a little in anticipation, and when she feels two of his fingers slide into her, she gasps his name loudly, arching her back. “God, James…you…”  
  
He doesn’t give her a chance to finish that thought because he’s intent on watching her fall apart, his fingers curving until her hips jerk and he knows he has the right spot. Bending his head, he kisses her stomach, his tongue tracing patterns across the smooth skin, and she whimpers softly, then louder when his hand moves faster. He moves until she starts to rock with him and then, without any warning he stops, making her eyes fly open to look at him. “Trust me,” he says with a hint of a smirk as his fingers just barely graze sensitive skin. Taking a nipple into his mouth again he contents himself with that, humming appreciatively at the feel of her fingers in his hair. Then, his fingers start their assault again, her fingers clutching the back of his neck as he moves. He lifts his head to watch her face, the way her eyes close and her lips part, and he’s damn sure he’s never seen anything look better in his life. He almost gives in, but then he’s stopping, leaning over to kiss her and quiet her protest.  
  
When her hips stop moving, he starts again, and this time he moves fast, his fingers going exactly where he knows they’ll make her fall apart. One of her hands reaches up behind her head and her palm presses flat against the headboard as her other hand takes in a handful of sheets. He’s not stopping this time and all that she can do is cry out his name loudly until she sucks in a breath that’s held for a few long seconds before she’s coming against him. He’s watching her fall apart, her entire body arching off of the bed and it’s too much. Taking away his hand, he thrusts into her, groaning as his head falls to press against her chest. Reaching out, she wraps her arms and legs around him, mouth landing against his neck and all he can hear is the way she sounds, her gasps and moans, and then he’s coming too, holding onto her so tightly that he’s sure she’s going to bruise.  
  
After a few minutes, when they’re both still, he drops onto his side next to her, gathering her up and against his chest. Her head fits under his chin and they stay tangled together, both of them thinking about what neither one of them is saying.

 

**Day One-Hundred-Nine**

Juliet’s in James’ lap, her legs still wound around him as they pant softly, her forehead against his. Her lips trail down the side of his face until she’s at his lips, and she kisses him deeply but lazily. His hands run up her back and into her hair until he lays them back in the bed, making sure she stays close.  
  
“What time do you have to go back to work?” she asks him, her lips now grazing across his chest.  
  
“Got a hour break, Blondie. So, soon.”  
  
She sighs softly in disappointment, because it’s one in the morning and he’s pulling the overnight shift. She’s irrationally mad at Jerry for calling in a favor and asking to switch. “And when you get home, I’ll be leaving.” She feels like, because of what happened, because she’s the one with the issues, there’s something else she’s supposed to be doing whether it’s spending more time with him or hassling him less over small things, or what. And she knows he knows it, he told her it was okay, but she doesn’t want him to think that she doesn’t care just because she can’t say three words yet.  
  
Sitting up, James runs a hand through his hair and looks down at her. “Get some sleep.” He stands, reaching for his boxers, then everything else so that he can get dressed again for work. Bending over the bed, he kisses her softly and lingers for a minute over her, searching her eyes. She knows he’s waiting, to see if this is it, but she just kisses him one more time.  
  
“Have a good rest of your shift.”  
  
He leaves quietly, and she stares up at the ceiling in the dark.

 

**Day One-Hundred-Ten**

Juliet stands up, wearing only a pair of white cotton underwear. Hardly sexy, but then she doesn’t have very many options on the island. The DI, apparently, isn’t very concerned about appearances. Not that she can tell from the way James is looking at her, and apparently he’s getting impatient.  
  
“You waitin’ on a cordial invitation’? Take ‘em off, I won fair and square.”  
  
She rolls her eyes and tugs them down, tossing them into the pile of clothes by the table. “There. Now what?”  
  
James grins and rakes his eyes up and down her body slowly and appreciatively. He notices when the attention makes her shift a little uncomfortably. He has a fleeting thought that if she’s still unsure about standing there naked in front of him, someone didn’t do somethin’ right in the past. He has a mind to make it right. “C’mere,” he says, reaching out for her hand.  
  
Her hand slides into his, and she lets him tug her down into his lap. “When are you gonna learn that you ain’t never gonna beat me at poker? ‘Specially  _strip_  poker.”  
  
“One day I’ll win,” she says with a hint of a smile, holding his gaze with her own.  
  
“Don’t count on it,” he retorts even as he pulls her down for a kiss, because a naked Juliet in his lap can’t be ignored for very long.

 

**Day One-Hundred-Eleven**

James is watching her at this new recruit party dancing with Jin and Miles while he sips a beer, leaning against a wall. There’s one of these parties a month, and this is the fourth one they’ve been to. It’s the first one where she’s had more than just a couple of beers. Not drunk, but buzzed enough to be entertaining. The three of them have formed their own little conga line, and she’s singing – loudly – to ‘The Loco-Motion’. Miles is egging her on and Jin doesn’t know what the hell’s going on. But it’s amusing anyway, the three of them falling all over each other. It’s the way she’s laughing and grinning that has him so lost in thought.  
  
She doesn’t let loose very often. She’s quiet and guarded. Speaks when she has somethin’ to say. It used to infuriate him because he could never get a rise out of her, but now he understands her more and gets it. Still, it wouldn’t kill her to have a little fun. Not after all the shit she’s been through, he thinks. This is the way she  _should_  be more often than not.  
  
James is startled out of his thoughts when she’s suddenly sliding up to him with one arm moving around his shoulders to dance with him. She’s embraced this hippie clothing style of peasant blouses, and when she wears skirts they’re those long billowy types. He guesses he has Amy to thank for that, and he will eventually. She still prefers her jeans when she’s not wearing the jumpsuit, but he loves the skirts.   
  
“Hey you,” she says, eyes shining as the song ends and segues into a slower one.  
  
“Hey yourself. You’re quite the dancin’ queen out there.”  
  
She laughs and steals the beer out of his hand, taking a sip. “Today was a good day.”  
  
“Yeah. It was, wasn’t it? Glad you’re enjoyin’ yourself, Blondie.” Her lips brush against his and before he knows it, she’s pulling him against her, kissing him deeply. It’s sudden and eager as his arms wrap around her waist and her fingers rake through his hair. He can’t believe that she’s kissing him like this in the middle of the damn party.  
  
“IT’S ABOUT FUCKING TIME!”  
  
That’s what it takes for them to pull away from each other: Miles ruining the moment. Jin’s trying to shush him, pulling him away as he gestures and mutters in a mix of Korean and English.  
  
Juliet grins, tugging at James, her hand in his, and leads him out of the rec center to their house.

 

**Day One-Hundred-Twelve**

Juliet’s sitting up in the dark, against their headboard as James sleeps next to her completely unaware that she’s quietly having a panic attack. It’s just like everything else she does, internalized so that no one will know there’s something wrong with her. Rachel used to get so mad at her, called her a robot once. Edmund called her a frigid bitch, but no one ever asked her if she was okay.  
  
James does though, he genuinely cares, and he wants to know. He’s listened to her fears about Ben, the stories about her life before the island. He’s held her while she cries; he’s never admonished her for falling apart.  
  
He loves her.  
  
Drawing her legs up so that she can wrap her arms around them, Juliet presses her forehead to her knees. And she’s trying to be quiet so she doesn’t wake him up, but it doesn’t work.  
  
“Juliet?” His voice is rough with sleep as he sits up. “What’s wrong?”  
  
“Nothing,” she says, then covers her eyes and shakes her head, because that’s a lie. “I’m a mess, James.”  
  
Reaching out, he pulls her to his chest, kissing her forehead, and she cries harder but still silently. Her shoulders are shaking and he has no idea what’s happening, so he just holds her until she stills. She’s still for so long that he thinks she’s gone to sleep until she shifts, and her voice is quiet in the room.  
  
“I don’t want to be broken,” she whispers, her hair falling in front of her face.  
  
“Christ, Juliet,” he says just as quietly, hugging her fiercely with one hand tangled in her hair. And this is scaring him, her thinking that she’s just damaged goods, and he has to figure out how to make this right,  _shit, shit, shit._  “You ain’t broken. People tried to ruin you, but you ain’t broken.”  
  
She wants to believe that so she clings to him, clings to what he’s saying about her.  
  
“We’re gonna be okay, Blondie. I ain’t goin’ anywhere.” Not like her dad, not like Edmund.  
  
Juliet takes a deep breath and lets him hold her, and she falls asleep that way, cradled against his chest.

 

**Day One-Hundred-Thirteen**

James would really have liked the chance to punch Edmund Burke right in the face. Last night's revelation, that Juliet thinks she's broken has him upset - not at her but at the fact that some asshole out there made her think she wasn't good enough. The truth is, he looks at Juliet every day and wonders when  _he_  was suddenly good enough.  
  
He's hanging around the motorpool talking with Javier about baseball as an excuse to watch her for a second. Poor Javier's really into the conversation too, talking about the last game he went to before coming to the island, and James is giving the appropriate nods and sounds of acknowledgment. But he has no damn clue what they're actually supposed to be agreeing on. He's looking at Juliet as she stands at her work station, cleaning off a van part. She stops for a minute, bracing her hands on the counter top and he completely tunes Javier out now, worried about how still she is, not moving at all except to take a few deep breaths. And then her boss is coming out and she smiles brightly.  
  
It really amazes him how good she is at flipping on a switch.  
  
"See you later, Javier," James says abruptly, and the other man protests, but James is already walking toward her now that she's alone again.  
  
"Hey there, Goldilocks." He gives her an easy smile and watches her face carefully.  
  
She smiles, but it's not the same bright smile; it's for him, and he can tell there's something else there. "You okay?"  
  
There's a minute where he isn't sure what she's going to say. Neither is Juliet. "I will be," she decides. "I just...last night..."  
  
"Hey, don't worry about that," he says, stepping closer. "I told you, I don't expect anythin' you ain't ready for." His arms wrap around her, and she presses her face against his neck, closing her eyes and sighing softly.  
  
"Did you come here to check up on me?" she finally asks, pulling back with her arms still wrapped around him.  
  
"Came to talk to Javier about baseball, ain't that right, Javier?"  
  
Javier looks up. "You don't listen to nothin' I say!"  
  
Juliet laughs and shakes her head. "I have to work." She doesn't pull back right away, holding his gaze. And his heart kind of skips a beat as he focuses on her. "Thank you, James."  
  
He looks slightly confused. "For what?"  
  
She kisses him softly. "Fixing me."  
  
When she disappears into the motor pool office, he stands there for a minute, before turning back toward the security station.  
  
He's fixing her.

 

**Day One-Hundred-Fourteen**

The pickup game of football is an unexpected end to the day, and as she tackles Miles, she grins.  
  
"Fuck! Julie you can't just take me down that easy, it makes me look like less of a man."  
  
"Don't call me Julie," she warns only once as she stands up, still smirking. "And I don't think you need to worry about me making you look like less of a man. Marissa? She's doing a good job with those rumors."  
  
"Don't talk to me about Marissa, she's insane. I'm trying to talk Jim into getting her sent off on the next sub."  
  
"Miles, you're such an idiot," Juliet says, rolling her eyes.  
  
Suddenly, James is yelling. "We still playin' or what, ladies?"  
  
Miles throws the football at him and Juliet joins Jin on 'their side'. The action starts again and Juliet sees a prime opportunity, running right in front of James to catch the ball. He doesn't hesitate to grab her around the waist, but she digs her feet into the ground, so her progress toward the grass is slowed. "I have the ball!" she laughs. "This is against the rules!" He's trying to slide under her arms to get her to loosen her grip.  
  
"This ain't conventional football, Blondie," he says as he tries to tickle and she falls down, finally, rolling onto her back.  
  
He's over her, and she's laughing, still clutching the football to her chest. And then, her laughing catches a little as she looks up at him. He's smiling at her and she holds his gaze.  
  
"I love you, James."  
  
He's so damn surprised - it's the middle of a football game - that he stares at her for a minute before bending down to catch her lips in a quick kiss. "I love you back."  
  
"Christ, you two, get a room, no one out here wants to see you suck face."  
  
James gets up so fast that all Juliet can do is laugh, and she pushes herself up on her elbows to watch him chase Miles and then punch him hard in the arm.  
  
Today, she decides, is a perfect day.

 

**Day One-Hundred-Fifteen**

When she wakes up in the morning and tries to roll into James' warmth, Juliet sits up groggily because he's not there. She's about to get up when the smell of bacon and coffee hits her, and she smiles, lying back down and rolling onto her stomach. Everything seems better, feels better since yesterday, and last night was definitely memorable. So memorable that she can't believe they’re both awake. Blinking open her eyes again, she looks at the clock. Well, it's eleven in the morning; good time as any to start the day.  
  
When the door opens, she shifts onto her side and looks at him, giving him a little grin. "Morning."  
  
He crawls back into the bed with her, moving over her as she rolls to her back. "Mornin'. I made breakfast." He kisses her softly, then nuzzles against the side of her neck.  
  
Juliet's not really thinking about breakfast at the moment. Her hands move up his shoulders slowly and she turns her head to find his lips, kissing him gently at first, then gradually deeper. She can feel him laughing, so she pulls away for a minute, looking up at him. "What?"  
  
"Nothin'," he chuckles, kissing across her chest. "But your breakfast is gonna get cold if we keep up like this."  
  
"That's what the oven is for," she murmurs, and she kisses his shoulder, quick pecks to start before tracing shapes on his skin with her tongue. She feels him shudder and reaches to push his boxers down as far as she can as he raises his head to find her mouth and kiss her deeply. Her fingers move to his hair, raking through it, and then suddenly he's rolling them over. Straddling him, she looks down with a grin. "Enjoying the view?"

"Am now," he smirks, his hands running up her thighs, then her sides and finally tugging her down for another kiss. When she rocks against him he groans, then brings a hand up to cup a breast, feeling the weight of it settle in his palm as his thumb moved across a nipple. He can't touch without tasting and he leans forward, tugging her a little so that he can capture her flesh in his mouth. Her sharp gasp does nothing to stave off his arousal, and he moves his hands to her hips, lifting her up just enough so that she can guide him into her body. He doesn't move for a few seconds, just tries to commit to memory how damn good she feels.  
  
Juliet opens her eyes and braces her hands on his stomach, her hips slowly moving until she finds a pace that makes his eyes close for a second. When they open again, she watches how they glaze over a bit, how they're so green and perfect, and  _God_  she loves him. It's all she can think as his hands roam everywhere and she can't help but move faster. He clutches at her hips tighter, and she wants to make it last but as soon as he says her name, she's gone. Her hips jerk in no certain rhythm against his, and she shudders. He tries to hold on too, but he can’t stop watching the way her body’s moving over him, and with the way she feels there’s no way. He pulls her down against him as he comes, hearing her saying his name over the sound of blood rushing in his ears.  
  
She falls against his chest, panting heavily as his fingers sort of shakily run through her hair. She can feel his heartbeat against her cheek, and she closes her eyes, every now and then pressing a kiss to his chest. He carefully rolls them so that they’re on their sides, his arms still wrapped tightly around her. Snuggling down against him, Juliet drifts a little, but not before murmuring softly that she loves him. His eyes close even as he kisses the top of her head, and they fall asleep again, breakfast forgotten.

 

**Day One-Hundred-Sixteen**

Sitting at the edge of the pylons, Kevin's trying to decide if he should enter the barracks from the front or the back. The front would have him trying to avoid the cameras on the motor pool, the security station, and the playground. Approaching from the back means he’d need to avoid the cameras aimed at the barracks and the rec center. He wants to be seen when the moment is right, so he'll come in from the back when the place is dark and quiet, everyone settled in bed.  
  
He has the security rotation memorized. This time around should have that asshole LaFleur on the overnight. Kevin's betting that instead of running a couple yards to the motor pool and grabbing a jeep, LaFleur will run to the barracks, which will give Kevin plenty of time to get Juliet in a prime position to give him some answers. If LaFleur does happen to drive, there won't be nearly as much time, but it won't be a deal breaker. He's factored in guns, he's factored in backup. There isn't a scenario he hasn't thought through. Because you don't shoot a man in the leg and expect no retaliation.   
  
LaFleur's biggest mistake was letting Kevin live.

 

**Day One-Hundred-Seventeen**

James always wonders what the hell Juliet does in the shower that takes her forty-five minutes. Some days she only takes ten or fifteen, but at night she lingers, and it isn't like they have a tub. He just doesn't get it. So tonight, when she comes into his bedroom with her hair wrapped in a towel and one wrapped around her body, he puts down his book to watch her.  
  
Most of her things have gravitated toward his room, and he has no idea why other than he's closer to the front of the house, so they always end up tumbling into his bed.   
  
"Can you hand me the lotion?" she asks, nodding toward the night stand.   
  
He hands it over and watches as she rubs the lotion over her arms, then brings a leg up to give it the same treatment, one after the other. Finally, she drops the towel and catches his  _complete_ attention.   
  
She smoothes lotion over her chest and stomach, then her thighs before catching his eyes. "Can I help you?" She smirks, then turns to pull one of his white undershirts out of the dresser, slipping it on.  
  
"You were in the shower for damn near an hour," he says with an eyebrow arch.  
  
"Is there a water supply shortage that I should know about?" One of her eyebrows arches as she slips into bed next to him.  
  
"No, but...what the hell are you doin' in there?"  
  
Juliet can't help it; she laughs and shakes her head. "James, things don't get smooth by themselves."  
  
"Hell Blondie, I know that, but forty-five minutes?"  
  
"It takes time! But if you think it takes too long, I'd be more than happy to stop..."  
  
He growls a little and grabs her around the waist, making the towel fall off the top of her head. One hand moves up her impossibly soft (and smooth) calf, then up her thigh, and he hums appreciatively. "You win, Blondie. Just one more question."  
  
She's distracted by his hand, now warm and low on her stomach. "Hmm?"  
  
"Who said you could wear my clothes?"  
  
Juliet laughs until his mouth is on hers, and soon enough, he doesn't have to worry about her wearing his shirt anymore.

 

**Day One-Hundred-Eighteen**

Kevin leaves his camp in the late afternoon carrying a bundle of rope in his pack. He has a rifle in his other hand and figures he'll make it to DHARMA territory by late evening. He'll have to wait for a period of time, probably well after midnight but the wait is worth it. He hasn't told anyone else about his plans but wants answers, and if Richard won't give them, well. He's not suffering a gunshot wound for no reason.  
  
Tonight he gets a leg for a leg, one way or another.  
  
It irritates him, that Juliet has this mark on her back - the mark of their own once an outcast - and Richard refuses to explain who she is and where she came from. Kevin risked his life living with the enemy on that same man's orders, and when he's almost killed, he gets nothing in return?  
  
Hours later, after using a key he'd stolen from Phil, the pylons are manually turned off using the emergency shut off code. Smart of them to change the regular access code week to week. Not as smart keeping the other the same. And true, Kevin had been a janitor, but it was a convenient way to pick up on all kinds of information.  
  
After dark, he watches lights turn off as people go to bed, and his focus is on one particular house. He wills the bedroom light to go out and finally it does, which means now, all he has to do is get past the rec room camera. Keeping to the very edges of the barracks, he maps his route in his head before cutting across the stretch of yard, sticking to shadow. It's a feat easily maneuvered, especially because he knows exactly where the camera is. But when he gets to the barracks and walks out in front of that camera, he pauses and turns, smiling. He waves with the gun in his hand, then turns to continue his walk, moving with a purpose.

 

**Day One-Hundred-Nineteen**

As soon as James saw Kevin on the black and white screen, he was running. Jin didn't even have time to react, and as he runs now, James realizes he didn't grab a gun, he just knew that he had to get home. It's late, Juliet's asleep, and he can't let his mind go where it wants to because it'll make him panic. He just needs to get there.  
  
The house, when he stops on the porch, is still dark, and for a second he thinks maybe Kevin didn't come here. But then he gets to the door and it pushes open easily. He can feel his heart pounding in his chest, and all he can think is  _don't do anything to get Juliet killed_. It's already his fault that Kevin's back and doing whatever the hell it is he thinks he's doing. If something happened to her, because of him, he'd never forgive himself. Walking through the dark living room, James stops to listen, sees nothing, and keeps going to the bedroom. The door's closed, and after taking a deep breath to brace himself, he opens it.  
  
Juliet's sitting with something in her mouth, her arms tied behind her back to the chair, and James just about fucking loses it. Her eyes are pleading with him in the dim light of the bedroom, and before he can walk closer, Kevin steps out of the shadow of their closet.  
  
"Don't. Or I'll treat her exactly the same way you treated me."  
  
James' fists clench at his sides. "The hell do you want?"  
  
Kevin walks behind Juliet, rifle pointed at the back of her head. "I want to know who you are. Because you're not with DHARMA. That mark on her back makes her part of  _my_  people. Or at least, she was."  
  
"It don't matter who the hell she was a part of. She's with me. And we're here. So put the damn gun down."  
  
Kevin shakes his head angrily. "I've been on this island for ten years. She's never been with us. And she didn't wash up on a beach with that mark, so you better start talking."  
  
Juliet locks eyes with James, and that's all he needs.  
  
"We ain't from the 70s. And there wasn't a ship wreck. Where we're from it's 2006, and the damn island started movin' through time until we got stuck here. She got that mark in the future, that's why you ain't ever seen her before." His anger is just barely contained, his voice dangerously low and his eyes dark.  
  
Kevin looks between the two of them, as if he doesn't quite believe what James is saying. "Why'd she get the mark, then?"  
  
"Killed a man," James responds without missing a beat.  
  
"Punishment for killing someone is execution, try again," Kevin sneers.  
  
"I don't give two shits if you believe me or not, that's what happened."  
  
Before James can stop it, Kevin raises his rifle and comes down hard on the side of Juliet's face and she falls, still tied to the chair. Without thinking, James rushes at Kevin, the rifle flying out of his hands by sheer force. James' hands wrap around the other man's throat, trying to force him away from Juliet, but then a knee connects with his abdomen and he loses his grip. Kevin has James on the ground, both men struggling for the upper hand when one shot rings out so loud that for a second James thinks he's gone deaf. He can't hear anything, but he watches as Kevin's face freezes, then looks down at the red spreading across his chest. Pushing him away, James stands quickly and looks in the direction of the shot. Jin's standing there, lowering his rifle. They silently acknowledge that it had to be done, before Jin's eyes flicker toward Juliet.  
  
James rushes to her, sinking to his knees and reaching around to untie her. "Juliet?" His fingers work on the gag next and her sob fills the room; pain that she hadn't been able to let out before. There's blood on her face but he pulls her to him, cradling her against his chest. "It's okay. It's okay, I got you," he whispers softly. Her fingernails are clawing desperately at his back, trying to get closer, and his arms wrap tighter around her. He's crying with her because  _Christ_ , she could be dead, or Kevin could have shot her, and it's too damn much. Somewhere around them, he's aware of Miles muttering a 'Jesus Christ', then Phil, Jerry and Horace are walking in, but James doesn't let go of her, and she doesn't move her face away from its place buried against his neck.  
  
He has no idea what the fuck they're going to do now.

 

**Day One-Hundred-Twenty**

Juliet watches as people come in and out of her house, Miles and Jin, Horace. She thinks Amy came by at one point and just sat with her. But Juliet doesn’t really say anything, just watches as James repeats what happened to Horace and they discuss the contract which she thinks is complete bullshit now. The contract obviously didn’t apply here and if the Hostiles wanted to argue – if Richard wanted to argue – she’d let him know exactly how she felt about the fucking  _contract_.  
  
Her face hurts, and she shifts on the couch, the movement making James look over at her. She manages what she thinks is some kind of smile when what she really wants is for all of these people to get out. When Horace and Jerry walk through with Kevin’s body, she stares at the dead man’s face intently, then draws her legs up to rest her forehead on her knees. She’s tired, but she doesn’t think she’ll sleep again anytime soon. With her eyes closed, Juliet listens as Phil walks in and starts talking a mile a minute, asking James question after question: “How’d he get in? Why would he risk it? Why Juliet? Do you think more will come?”  
  
She can’t take it anymore, and she gets up, opening her front door. “Goodbye, Phil.” When he doesn’t get the hint, she looks around the room at everyone. “Goodbye. Everyone, please just…go. We’ll be fine.” Juliet stands there, James not apologizing for what she’s doing when everyone turns to him, and one by one people leave until she’s closing the door and locking it behind them. Leaning forward, she lets her forehead rest against the door as she takes a few deep breaths, listening to James move behind her. His hand comes to rest on her lower back, tugging her around until she’s facing him and he pulls her against his chest. She holds onto him, realizing with a soft sigh that that’s all she can do.


	5. Month Five

**Day One-Hundred-Twenty-One**

Neither one of them ever want to go back into that room again. The body’s gone, the rope and tape are gone and the blood is cleaned up. But it still happened there, and neither one of them will be able to sleep in that room again. She takes her things out, moves them all back into her room, and then he moves his things too. Then the door closes with neither one of them ever planning on going back inside. Her room looks exactly the same as his, so it shouldn’t matter where they sleep, but somehow it does.  
  
She sits on her bed, watching him put his things in her dresser, until he turns and catches her staring. He finishes up with his boxers, then sits down next to her, leg bumping hers. “I saw that white shirt I’ve been missin’ in your drawer,” he teases gently.  
  
Juliet cracks a hint of a smile. “You want it back?”  
  
“Nah. You look better in it anyway.” His hand finds hers, and he clears his throat a little. “I worked it out so I don’t have to work overnights for a while.”  
  
She looks up at him, blinking quickly, then wraps her arms around his neck to hug him tightly. “Thank you, James.”  
  
“Hey, it’s nothin’,” and his voice catches a little in his throat, because maybe if he’d switched before, when she told him she couldn’t sleep well without him, this wouldn’t have happened.  
  
Leaning against him with her head on his shoulder, she speaks quietly. “I love you.”  
  
There are a hundred things he wants to say to her: I’m sorry I almost lost you, I’m sorry I didn’t kill him when I had the chance, I’m sorry I didn’t get here faster. But instead, he just runs his fingers through her hair. “Love you, too.”

 

**Day One-Hundred-Twenty-Two**

The middle of the night has not been good to Juliet. It helps that James is there, a solid presence in bed next to her, but there’s always that nightmare where she wakes up and Kevin’s pressing the gag into her mouth. If she’d been awake she has no doubts that she would have kicked his ass, even with the gun he’d had. But for the first time in weeks, she’d actually been so tired from work that she’d been able to fall asleep without James in the house. So when Kevin broke in, her guard was completely down and he’d easily gotten the upper hand.  
  
Bolting upright in bed, her heart’s pounding as she stares into the dark, trying to decide if she’s alone or if there’s someone in the darkest corner of the bedroom. When James brings a hand to her shoulder she flinches, jerking away for a second before she realizes it’s him. Turning to face him, she whispers that she’s sorry, taking his hand in hers and bringing it to her lips before lying down with her head on his chest. It’ll take a while, they both know that, but it’s James, and she can’t help but feel guilty. Her lips move to press against his skin while his fingers run rhythmically through her hair. And it’s his voice that finally breaks the silence.  
  
“When we get outta here, where do you wanna live, Blondie?”  
  
She looks up at him in the dark, blinking a little. “What?”  
  
“When the day comes where we won’t be livin’ in Hippyville anymore, where do you wanna go? Anywhere.”  
  
Juliet’s quiet for a long time, thinking. “As long as it’s not an island.”  
  
He manages a smile at that. “I’m thinkin’ the most land locked state there is. How do you feel about Kansas?”  
  
“Kansas? What’s in Kansas?”  
  
“Hell if I know.”  
  
“What about Colorado? There’s mountains.”  
  
He thinks about that for a while. “So, a cabin?”  
  
Juliet makes herself comfortable against his side. “I like that. A cabin in the mountains,” she smiles softly.  
  
“Alright then,” he agrees. “You and me, a cabin in the mountains in Colorado.”  
  
When she finally falls asleep again, she dreams about snow and pine trees, and it’s the first content sleep she’s had in days.

 

**Day One-Hundred-Twenty-Three**

Juliet’s sick of staying in the house, so even though Horace granted her time off, she’s at the motor pool. People keep staring at her face, so she tries to hide the cut and the bruise with her hair, every now and then sending death glares. There are four people gathered around a jeep, pretending to service it but instead talking low, and she’s about to go over there and say something when suddenly her savior of the motor pool is coming to her defense.  
  
“What are you people doing? Go work on something, do something useful.  _Vamos_!” Javier turns to Juliet. “I’m sorry these people bother you, Misses Julie.”  
  
He’s the only person on the whole damn island she will ever let call her Julie outside of James (who never does), and she smiles softly. “Thank you, Javier.” He’s so short that she has to look down to see him. “People like to talk about what they don’t know. I can handle it. But thank you.”  
  
“I got something for your cut. Well, Ana Maria gave me something to give you for your cut,” he corrects, looking over his shoulder as if his wife might be listening to make sure he got it right. Pulling a jar out of his jumpsuit pocket, he hands it over to her. “To be honest, I don’ know what’s in it. But she says it can keep it from scarring.”  
  
Juliet takes the jar gratefully, opening it to smell, getting a hint of almonds. “Thank you. Tell Maria I said thank you.” She looks up, distracted when James comes sauntering into the motor pool.  
  
“Javier! Stop flirtin’ with Juliet.”  
  
“You know I’m not flirting! Don’ say that so loud! You think Ana would let me live, no estoy durmiendo en el sofá.” He shrugs a little, watching as a van pulls into his service station for repair. “Adiós, Misses Julie, Mister Jim.”  
  
Juliet watches him go, shaking her head with a little laugh. The man is all of five feet, but she wouldn’t bet against him.

 

**Day One-Hundred-Twenty-Four**

Everyone’s sitting around the dining room table eating in silence. No one knows what to talk about when they all want to bring up Kevin. But, out of respect to Juliet who’s the one with the bruise on her face, James, Jin, and Miles haven’t said anything about it. Miles clears his throat at one point like he’s going to say something but falls silent again.  
  
She knows what they’re all doing, and it’s getting on her nerves. Looking right at Jin, she speaks. “Where’s your liquor?”  
  
It takes him a second to understand what she means, and then he gets up, going to a cabinet and pulling out a nearly full bottle of rum. Coming back to the table, he puts it directly in front of Juliet, then sits back down.  
  
Eying the bottle, she takes it, twists off the cap, and doesn’t hesitate to drink straight from the bottle. When she puts it back down again, she looks at all three men. “Stop tip-toeing around me. Talk. You can talk about it.”  
  
Jin looks at James, both of them picking up that maybe she needs this more than anything, but Miles speaks up first.  
  
“I know what he was thinking, you know. After he died.” He reaches for the bottle of rum and Juliet passes it. He takes a long swig of it, before looking at her. “He was glad he tied you up. Knew he would have gotten his ass kicked a whole lot sooner.”  
  
She manages some form of a smile at that, accepting the bottle back and taking another shot.  
  
“Coward. Has to come while you are sleeping,” Jin mutters, taking the bottle. He knows a thing or two about scaring people, intimidating them. And he knows two things for sure: Never women, and never cowardice.  
  
This time when the bottle is slid back to her and she takes her shot, she passes it to James, and everyone looks at him. He contemplates the bottle for a long time, then takes a swallow before looking at Juliet. “I shoulda killed him when I had the chance.” He passes the bottle back to her, then gets up, leaving the table.  
  
She sits in silence, but instead of crying, she drinks more rum until Miles and Jin are taking the bottle away from her, and James is carrying her home.

 

**Day One-Hundred-Twenty-Five**

The only way Juliet will explain her version of events is if James is there with her. And technically, it isn't supposed to work this way - her boyfriend is the head of security and opinions will be biased - but she's not going into a room alone to tell Horace what happened. So, Horace is in their living room, sitting behind James, while Juliet sits on the couch and James sits in front of her on the coffee table.  
  
"Alright. You gotta tell me what happened before I got there," he says gently, the look on his face saying that he  _really_  doesn't want to make her.  
  
She takes a deep breath and looks right at him, voice calm as ever as she speaks. "I was asleep. I didn't hear him come in."  
  
"What time did you go to bed, Juliet?" Comes Horace from the back of the room, and she lets her gaze shift over to meet his eyes.  
  
"Eleven," she supplies succinctly before looking back at James.  
  
"What alerted you to Kevin's presence in the house?"  
  
She doesn't take her eyes off of James as Horace asks his question. "Kevin gagging me. I didn't wake up until he had my mouth covered. And then he pulled me out of bed and tied my hands behind my back. I kicked him twice, but without my hands..." She trails off, looking down at her hands as if they'd betrayed her somehow, and James reaches to take them in his.  
  
"Did he say anything to you? Explain what he wanted?" Horace is writing as he speaks, then leans forward, obvious concern on his face.  
  
"No." That's a lie, James knows it, and she looks at him, a silent promise to tell him later. "Nothing happened; it was like he was waiting on James. And then...he tied me to the chair and that's exactly what he did. He waited. Everything else you can get from James."  
  
Horace is quiet for a minute, thinking about what she's said before he stands. "Juliet, I'm very sorry this happened to you. I know you've already been back to work, but if you need more time - "  
  
"I'm fine, Horace," she starts quickly, then manages some form of a smile. "But thank you."  
  
He leaves after a nod, and she listens to the front door click shut before looking at James who's still sitting in front of her.  
  
"What happened?" he asks, his voice even and low.  
  
She closes her eyes. "He looked at the brand. Before he tied me to the chair and it just...it made him mad, James. I don't know why."  
  
"He do anythin' else?"  
  
Her eyes open and she shakes her head instantly. "No, James."  
  
Standing, he takes a deep breath and runs a hand over his face. "I gotta go file my reports, but I'll be home before dark. Tomorrow's the meetin' with Richard."  
  
"It'll be okay," she says softly.  
  
He decides he'll believe her after tomorrow.

 

**Day One-Hundred-Twenty-Six**

James really isn't looking forward to this fucking meeting, and he's already tense as he waits with Horace, Jin, and Miles. He's up front with no gun, but there's plenty of backup behind him. Horace didn't want him to take the lead on this, but there wasn't really much negotiating once they get there. Richard's late and for as much as he's not looking forward to it, James is irritated as hell, clenching his jaw. They're standing in the middle of the jungle, at the halfway point between Dharmaville and New Otherton, and he's sure that they're already surrounded though he can't see anyone.  
  
Finally, Richard saunters out like he's right on time, and James has a hard time not punching him right then. "Nice of you to show up, Ricky."  
  
Richard looks past James and at Horace. "I don't deal with him. I deal with you. This is about our contract."  
  
James doesn't think about it before he's in Richard's face. "You're dealin' with me, so let's talk about the damn contract."  
  
Horace says nothing while he steps forward, hands behind his back. When he's finally standing next to James, he clears his throat. "We are not in violation of the contract. Kevin - though I'm aware that's not actually his name - left your camp and came into our facility."  
  
"You  _killed_  him."  
  
That's about it; James clenches a fist. "Seem to remember your people killin' Amy's husband for bein' too far in your territory. Don't see no difference here."  
  
Richard blinks at him, then looks back at Horace. "That, like this, wasn't on my order. We're the peaceful ones."  
  
James hits him square in the jaw before Miles and Horace are each grabbing an arm.  
  
"My point, thank you,” says Richard, bringing a hand to his face.  
  
Jin walks up behind James, his own eyes dark. "I killed Kevin."  
  
James turns to Jin. "Don't."  
  
"Look, we can sit here and disagree on the finer points of two wrongs making a right, or we can solve our problems," Richard interjects. "Kevin was wrong and you already killed him. The contract states I get one of yours."  
  
"That ain't happenin'."  
  
Horace interjects again. "Kevin's body is located on your side of the pylons in the East Quadrant. Your men can pick it up, and that's all you'll get. We did not infiltrate your camp. We did not tie up your women and hit them."  
  
Richard takes a deep breath and sighs, looking out at the tree line with his hands on his hips as if he's thinking about it. "Alright."  
  
James looks at him with a dangerous edge to his eyes. "'Alright'?"  
  
"I'll agree to picking up his body and not getting our due. But if any of your people get the idea to come here, to plan a revenge of their own, it will not end well."  
  
"Ain't us you gotta be worryin' about."  
  
"Accept this or don't."  
  
James turns to look at Horace, Miles, and Jin who all nod.  
  
"Anyone ever comes into our homes again, there won't be no contract negotiations."  
  
Richard and James lock eyes, then reach out and shake hands, but James leans in and speaks. "If anyone ever comes after her again 'cause of who she used to be, I'll come after you."  
  
They both step back, and Richard gives a nod of acknowledgment.  
  
James stares, watching Richard leave, and true to what he thought, he hears rustling all around them as his people follow. Miles looks around and holds out a hand.  
  
"That's it? Juliet gets attacked and that's it?"  
  
"Kevin's already dead, Miles, what else should there be?" Horace asks.  
  
"I don't know, but what the fuck, that's it? What was the point in this? In any of it?"  
  
James starts walking. "It's over, Enos, let's just go."  
  
One by one they all turn to follow James, no one saying anything else as they walk.

 

**Day One-Hundred-Twenty-Seven**

The hike back to Dharmaville is less than exciting and they stop for the night before keeping on in the morning. When they finally get back into their territory, James turns off the pylons on their side and his attention’s caught by a welcome sight. Juliet’s standing there in her motor pool jumpsuit, and he holds her gaze as he walks through. Amy’s there too and he raises an eyebrow in question which makes Juliet smirk. Crossing over, he tries not to rush himself, to make it look like he didn’t miss her so damn much that he couldn’t sleep the night before.  
  
Horace walks to Amy and they stand kind of far apart, and she’s awkwardly telling him she’s glad he’s okay. And then there’s Juliet, wrapping her arms tightly around James, and he buries his face against her neck, breathing her in for a few minutes. She pulls away when she spots Miles and Jin over his shoulder, and she hugs them too. There are two jeeps behind them, because one wouldn’t fit everyone and the vans are all out. Amy clears her throat and starts to speak. “Boys, you can ride with me, and James and Juliet can go together,” she says, turning so that they can all head home.  
  
When James gets into the jeep with Juliet, he sinks down in the seat and closes his eyes, rubbing a hand over his face. She drives in silence with him for a while before speaking. “What happened?”  
  
“Nothin’,” he shrugs. “They’re comin’ for the body and that’s it.”  
  
She nods and reaches for his hand with her free one. He looks over at her, taking her hand and squeezing gently, and he’s watching her face to make sure she’s okay but he can’t really tell. Not without seeing her eyes. For now, he relaxes and tries to concentrate on the fact that it’s all over and they can put what happened behind them. Only it still feels like he let her down somehow, and he holds onto her hand tightly. He figures she’d think it’s bullshit that he blames himself, so he hasn’t said anything, just decides to come up with a way to make it up to her, to get her to smile at him again.

 

**Day One-Hundred-Twenty-Eight**

Sometime around three in the afternoon, James has an idea, and he gets Miles to cover for him, says he’ll owe him, and leaves the security station. Going home, he doesn’t bother changing, but he throws together some sandwiches, grabs some beer out of the fridge, and heads to the motor pool. Walking to Javier’s station, he nods at a van. “Hey man. This one good to go?”  
  
Javier gives a nod. “Yeah, it’s good. Why, are we going somewhere?”  
  
“Not this time, maybe on some lonely night next week.” He puts the beer and the sandwiches in the back.  
  
Javier eyes the beer. “You must be going somewhere fancy.”  
  
“Shut the hell up. Where is she?”  
  
Javier points to the office. “Trapped. Susan got to her. Come to think of it, Susan might be dead.”  
  
James smirks and saunters into the office, just as Susan comes out. “Oh! James. I didn’t see you there, excuse me…” But she doesn’t look sorry at all, and in fact stays in his space. “There’s a problem with the undercarriage of – “  
  
He brushes past her. “I’m sure it’s fine, nothin’ to worry about. Talk to Javier,” he calls, and laughs when he hears Javier cuss in Spanish in the distance.  
  
Juliet looks up when she hears James’ voice, and the tension she’d had in her shoulders dissipates. “What are you doing here?”  
  
“C’mon, we’re gettin’ out here of here.”  
  
“Where are we going?” she asks.  
  
“It’s a surprise.” He flashes her a lopsided smile before leading her to the van, and Susan tries once again to talk to him, but he closes the door, starting the engine and looking down at her. “Gotta go, Susie Q. I don’t know if you realized this or not, but Juliet’s been needin’ a vacation. So if you’ll excuse us.” He pulls away and starts off down a road to the west, glancing over at Juliet.  
  
She’s got a little smirk on her lips as she stares out of the window and then glances over at him. “Susie Q?”  
  
He smirks back. “I figure she probably got called that a lot when she was younger and hates it.”  
  
“You’re terrible, you know that?” She reaches for him though, and he takes one hand off of the steering wheel to hold hers. “So where are we really going?”  
  
“Found this little place durin’ a grid search. You’ll see.”  
  
They drive for what seems like at least an hour, and when they stop, it’s in a little grove where the trees have bent in just a way that there’s a perfect shot up at the sky through the canopy of leaves, and there’s a pond. Not big enough to be considered a lake by any means, and not deep enough to jump into, but a nice body of water that’s crystal clear, like looking through glass. And the best part is that it’s quiet. When Juliet gets out of the van, she leans against it and gives a soft sigh, looking around happily.  
  
“So, what do you think?” he asks.  
  
She turns and smiles at him softly, wrapping her arms around him. “I think this is exactly what I needed,” she says softly, looking up at him. “Thank you.” Juliet’s head nestles against his chest, and he runs a hand lazily through her hair.  
  
“You ain’t gotta thank me,” he says softly, even as she looks up and kisses him, planning on showing him how much she appreciates it.

 

**Day One-Hundred-Twenty-Nine**

More often than not Jin and Miles come over for dinner. Not that Juliet minds, but after the day before she's eager for more time alone with James. She supposes she can sacrifice, especially considering Jin saved their lives. It's that thought she takes with her to the kitchen, and she stands staring at soapy dish water for a little while. How long ago was it that she was telling Jin his wife had an affair? She tries to think, but between the time travel and everything else they've been through, it feels like a lifetime ago. It had been a low blow, and she knew that when she did it. Who could have guessed that he would eventually kill someone on her behalf?  
  
She doesn't hear him when he walks in, but Jin moves next to her, putting dishes on the counter. "Dinner was good," he says, getting better at English and smiling triumphantly.  
  
"You know this is the only thing I  _can_  cook." She's terrible at most things, but pastas she can do.  
  
"Still good. Better than Miles."  
  
She laughs softly, then looks away, clearing her throat. "Jin, I wanted to..." She takes a deep breath and looks at him again, blinking quickly to keep from crying. "Thank you. For..."  
  
He gives her a little smile, trying to figure out the best way to express himself. "You. Jim. Keep us safe. You made Sun safe." His gaze softens. "We are even."  
  
Juliet remembers,  _don't stay, don't die, get on the freighter_ , and she swallows heavily. Pulling him into a hug, she squeezes before stepping back. They don't say anything else, nothing else is needed, and they walk back out to the living room to enjoy the rest of the evening.

 

**Day One-Hundred-Thirty**

Juliet's sitting next to James, her shoulder pressing against his as they each sip a beer. They've found out a lot about each other through this routine of sharing, and she thinks it's her turn, only she has no idea what to tell him. Most everything seems inconsequential compared to what they've already shared: his daughter, and her affair, and the murder he committed. Everything else, after that, is small.  
  
"I knew when Edmund was going to leave me," she blurts out.  
  
James really hates this asshole, he's glad he got hit by a bus which is probably chicken shit, because James was a pretty big asshole to a lot of women in his time. But he's never been an asshole to her, and so he figures by default that gives him the right to be shitty about anyone who was. "How'd you know?"  
  
She sighs softly, tucking hair behind her ear. "I went into his office at home and the papers were right there on his desk. Already signed. Waiting on me."  
  
He looks at her incredulously. "What happened?"  
  
"For...two weeks, nothing. We went to a gala, we went to a conference together. And he never said anything. And I realized he was waiting for his name on the patent for a medicine to go through. That way when he was ready for the divorce, he'd be entitled to half the rights of the fertility drug I'd been working on. Using his pharmaceutical company."  
  
James blinks a little, then shakes his head. "What a bastard; shit, why did you marry him?"  
  
Juliet studies her hands intently, not saying anything for so long that he starts apologizing and she stops him. "I was young. And really stupid. And my mom was sick, and he helped, and...I thought he genuinely cared. Maybe he did at one point. But it was always about what I could do for him in return."  
  
He finishes his beer and looks over at her. "I know you left him. So what happened?"  
  
She shrugs and starts peeling the DHARMA label off of her bottle. "When I figured it out, I hired my own lawyer and stalled on my research. He still ended up with a good chunk, though. But then my sister had cancer and it didn't matter anymore."  
  
"'Til she wanted to have a kid, right?"  
  
For some reason, Juliet's surprised at his question. Not that he asked it, but that he's remembered the details. "Yeah," she finally says. "Rachel wanted to have a baby so I did everything I could to make that happen for her."  
  
They lapse into silence again and he takes a deep breath, wondering if that's what she'd really wanted to do, or if she had to do it, or if she gave up her own chance at a life to make sure her sister had one. He looks over at her and she's staring off into the distance, and he wonders what she's thinking about. When she looks back at him to meet his gaze, her eyes are big, like maybe she's trying not to cry, and James is pretty sure he's never felt this kind of tightness in his chest before. He's dated a lot of women, or, if he's being technical, he's conned a lot of women into trusting him, into sleeping with him and giving him their money. He's detached, he never cares - the closest he ever came was Cassidy. But when he looks at Juliet, and he sees the way she's trying so damn hard to not be broken, it's like he can't breathe right. And all he wants to do is make it  _better_.  
  
"Hey. C'mere." He tugs at her hand, pulling her against him and wrapping an arm around her. "One day Blondie, you're gonna get everythin' you want."  
  
She closes her eyes, taking a deep breath. "Yeah?"  
  
He looks out across the barracks, thinks about her, thinks about the night with Kevin, and makes a choice.  
  
"Yeah."

 

Day-One-Hundred-Thirty-One

She's lying exactly where she landed when she fell into bed after her shower. Her head is on his stomach, hair spread out as her fingers move up and down his arm. They're both quiet, and she closes her eyes when he starts playing with her hair. These are the times when she's most content, when they can be together like this with no rush. She drifts a little, until his hand has found hers and he's tugging her up next to him. Juliet moves, somehow winding up on top of him, and she bends down, brushing her lips lazily over his. His hand moves under her hair and against the nape of her neck, and she pulls back just enough to look at him, to search his eyes with hers.  
  
The look on her face makes him worry a little, and his free hand moves so that his thumb can stroke her cheek. He stops short of the bruise that's still fading, watches as she closes her eyes. "You okay?" he asks quietly, focusing intently on her.  
  
Her eyes open, and she's quiet for so long that for just a second his stomach drops, but then she's smiling. "I'm okay. I'm good. I'm happy."  
  
Saying that she's happy out loud, after everything that's happened in the past couple of weeks is like a weight off of his shoulders. James gives her a kind of grin. "Happy, huh? Here's where I say 'how happy are you?'."  
  
Juliet bends, her mouth grazing across his jaw until she finds his mouth, but she hovers over him, breath mingling with his for a few seconds until she can't stand it and she's kissing him deeply, her hands resting on the sides of his face. When she pulls back she presses her nose into his neck, nuzzling a little. "I love you."  
  
His fingers rake through her hair again, and he presses a kiss to her temple. "Love you, too." It doesn't seem like enough, just to say it like that. Because he told Kate he loved her. But Juliet is different. He  _loves_  her. And something like that scares the living shit out of him, not because of any reason other than it's her, and he knows how much shit she's been through. He doesn't want her to think about him the way she thinks about Edmund or hell, even Jack.  
  
He's taken out of his thoughts by another soft kiss, and he can't help but marvel at how her lips feel against his.  
  
"Where'd you go?" she whispers softly.  
  
"Nowhere. Well..." He clears his throat and looks at her. It's not going to sound right, it'll be like some damn lifetime movie and he knows it. "I figure you and me...this is about perfect, Blondie. And I ain't tryin' to do anything to mess that up."  
  
Juliet frowns a little, her fingers moving across his face. "Who said you were messing it up?"  
  
He catches her hand in his. "No one. Just wanna make sure you know what this is."  
  
It's what he isn't saying that makes her smile softly, and she bends down to kiss him again, murmuring against his lips. "You mean you don't want to run away with Susan?"  
  
James smirks and rolls them over, his mouth pressing kisses along her jaw. "You caught me." And it's a complete lie, he can't fucking stand Susan. But he needs to finish his train of thought. "I'm with you. And I got your back."  
  
Instead of saying anything, she pulls him into another kiss, and this time it's kind of desperate and needy, her hands all over him. She's tugging at him, trying to get him closer, and he pulls her up until he's sitting and she's in his lap. They're chest to chest and his hands run up and down her back as they kiss, until she has to take a deep breath. He takes the opportunity to ghost his lips along the column of her throat, pausing over her pulse. It's steady and strong, and he moves on to her shoulder. He presses kisses against her skin, then starts tracing patterns with his tongue until her fingers are grasping at the nape of his neck.

Rocking against him, Juliet isn't idle; her own mouth moving up and down his neck until she finds the spot she knows makes him hers. Right along the curve of his jaw and he groans, hands gripping her waist tightly. She rocks against him, keeping her body as flush against his as possible. "James..."  
  
He raises her up just enough to kiss down the curve of her breast and eventually tug a nipple into his mouth. Her gasp absolutely turns him on and he groans, running his hands up and down her sides. He watches as she pulls back just a little, then moves so that he can thrust into her, her eyes closing. He doesn't even know how to explain what it's like, how she feels, but he takes a breath to calm himself down. He watches her as she moves; back arching, hair falling down her shoulders and hands moving up his chest to hold onto his arms. He watches her bite her lip and he has to press his face against her neck as he clings to her tightly. Her mouth is up and down his neck and chest and  _damn_  the sounds she's making against his ear aren't helping him hold on.  
  
James realizes that she doesn't necessarily want him to hold on as she lets herself fall onto her back, pulling him with her. She doesn't have to say anything, and he starts moving against her bending down for a kiss. He sometimes meets her mouth, but most of the time gets her chin or the corner of her lips. When her legs wrap around him he gets the hint and moves faster and the moan he gets in return makes him gasp her name. "Jesus, Juliet..."  
  
Before he can say anything else, she's tensing on the bed just before falling apart, crying out his name loudly as she comes around him. James manages to hold on, but soon enough the feel of her is too much and he's over the edge, thrusting just a handful of times until all he can see is stars. When he comes back to it, he can feel her fingers in his hair, and she realizes he landed mostly on top of her. Moving to her side he pulls her close, and they're face to face, both of them panting softly.   
  
When she opens her eyes, Juliet watches him and smiles softly, curling her body into his. "I have your back too," she says softly.  
  
He presses his lips against her forehead. "I know. I know it." He strokes her back, then runs his fingers through her hair until he feels her breathing change. Once she's asleep he finally lets himself drop off, tangled around her.

 

**Day One-Hundred-Thirty-Two**

They're going to Amy's for dinner, and Juliet leans into the mirror as she gets ready, trying to cover the bruise on her face with makeup. It’s fading, she figures another few days and there won’t be any reminders of what happened that night. She’s been using the cream Javier’s wife gave her and the cut is healing nicely she realizes as she smoothes out her foundation.  
  
She doesn’t see James at first, she’s so focused on the task at hand, but finally she catches his reflection in the mirror, and she looks at him. “Hey,” she smiles softly, the type of smile that’s reserved just for him. He walks in and rests his hands on her hips and his chin on top of her head, but she’s still able to finish up. “Think Horace will be at dinner?”  
  
James smirks. “What do you think? He’ll be there, and Amy will keep on bein’ oblivious.”  
  
“I don’t blame her, not really. The Hostiles almost killed her, and they took her husband away. And it didn’t happen all that long ago either.”  
  
He considers this for a moment, different thoughts sliding into one another as he tries to come up with something. But he can’t focus, so the only thing that comes out is a quiet ‘yeah’. He holds her gaze in the mirror for a few seconds before pulling away from her. “We gotta go in a few minutes. You almost ready?”  
  
Juliet looks at him, wondering when they’re going to be able to say certain things without feeling like they have to censor themselves. “You okay?”  
  
He tosses her an easy (fake) smile. “Yeah. I’ll be out on the porch.”  
  
When he leaves, she stares at her reflection in the mirror, blinking sadly before turning to go.

 

**Day One-Hundred-Thirty-Three**

She wakes up alone in the middle of the night, curled tightly around James’ pillow. She sits up quickly, heart pounding as she listens in the dark. But then she hears a beer pop open in the living room, and she takes a deep breath, swallowing heavily. Climbing out of bed, she slips on his discarded white shirt before walking out quietly. Standing in the hallway she watches him on the couch, shoulders tense as he leans over, elbows on his knees. His beer is on the coffee table, opened but untouched, and she frowns a little. She knows that his demons have always been in guilt, but it never occurred to her that maybe he needs to hear her say what happened to her wasn’t his fault.  
  
Walking into the living room, she drops beside him on the couch.  
  
“I wake you up?”  
  
“No,” she says quietly, reaching out to rest her hand on his back. “What’s up? Why are you out here?”  
  
“Can’t sleep, it’s nothin’.”  
  
“James…” She bends a little in an attempt to see his eyes. “Talk to me.”  
  
“It was the damn dream again, okay?” His voice is a little harsher than he means for it to be, and he looks up apologetically, though he doesn’t say the words. “If Jin hadn’t got there, maybe we wouldn’t be talkin’ right now.”  
  
Juliet reaches for his hands. “It wasn’t your fault. None of it was your fault.”  
  
“I shoulda killed him back when I had the chance.”  
  
“Most people get shot in the leg and take a hint. James, look at me.” She waits until his eyes are on hers. “It’s not your fault. I don’t think any of it was your fault.”  
  
“He coulda killed you. You understand that?”  
  
“But he didn’t. You can’t keep doing this to yourself.” She reaches out and presses her palm to his cheek, then pulls him down into a hug. She’s not surprised when he presses his face against her neck and she feels the dampness of tears, his arms wrapping around her. James was a boy torn apart by a man with a gun, and he hadn’t been able to do anything then. She understands why he thinks he failed. “I don’t blame you for anything,” she whispers softly.  
  
His lips press against her neck before he stands and tugs her up with him, and she lets him guide her back to bed. Wrapping around him, she whispers to him softly until he’s asleep again, and then she rests her head on his chest, hoping she’s chased away his demons.

 

**Day One-Hundred-Thirty-Four**

Juliet’s hand is holding onto his lightly as he guides her through the trees to a spot that really isn’t that far away from the barracks. She’s never seen it, and she’s never heard anyone talk about it, but she guesses that most of the DHARMA Initiative people have never had the chance to run through the jungle before. There are certain areas for hiking and camping, but only approved by Horace and security. Security being James, and he hasn’t told anyone shit about this place. She knows he wants to keep it for them.  
  
It’s the first time they’ve gone out at night though, but when they get there it’s worth it. It’s a small pool of water, nothing they can really dive into, but she grins at him when he takes off his shirt, and she starts following suit until she’s naked and they’re slipping into the water together. It’s warm and she sighs softly, wrapping her arms around him in a loose embrace. “You’re a bad influence. Getting me to skinny dip,” she admonishes playfully before her lips find his.  
  
“Don’t tell me you ain’t ever skinny dipped before, Blondie.”  
  
“Oh, I have, just not after I turned thirty.”  
  
“You’ve been missin’ out then. Best time to skinny dip is after thirty.” His hands move down her back to support her legs as she wraps around him.  
  
“You didn’t bring me out here to swim,” she says with a smirk.  
  
He presses kisses along her collar bone as he backs up until he can sit in the water. “Hell no I didn’t.”  
  
Juliet laughs softly, because swimming’s over rated anyway when there’s naked James involved.

 

**Day-One-Hundred-Thirty-Five**

“Juliet. We’re playing dice. Come on.”  
  
Juliet looks at Miles, raising an eyebrow. “It’s one in the afternoon. I’m not getting drunk with you.”  
  
“Come on, don’t be such a prude. Your husband’s at work.”  
  
She rolls her eyes at the husband comment. “Yeah, and where’s the wife?”  
  
“Mallory? She’s, you know, she’s out. Not literally, just at the school. You’re off; I’m off, what else is there to do in this damn place?”  
  
“I’m not playing a drinking game.”  
  
“You’re boring, you know that?”  
  
She sits there at the table, thinking about all the cleaning she should be doing, the laundry, the dishes. And Miles is flopped on her couch, flipping through some DHARMA related magazine.  
  
“Fine. Let’s go. All I have is beer.”  
  
Miles hops off of the couch, jumping right over the back of it as he gets to the table. “Whatever, doesn’t matter. Anything that adds up to six or has a six in it, you drink,” he says, pulling dice out of his pocket. “Roll doubles then, you know, you take that many gulps of beer.”  
  
“Gulps?”  
  
“Hey, I’m not the one out of rum or tequila or whatever for shots.”  
  
Juliet rolls her eyes and gets two six packs out of the fridge. “Ladies first,” she smirks.  
  
“Fuck you, Juliet,” he says over her laughter as they each open a beer and Miles rolls. “Alright, two and four.” He takes a drink of his beer and Juliet rolls.  
  
“Jesus, double sixes are you kidding me?”   
  
“Damn, that’s like a whole beer. Chug it.”  
  
Taking a breath, she tips back the can and starts drinking, managing to get the whole thing down before slamming it on the table.  
  
“You must have been  _awesome_  in college. Does Jim know you can drink like that?”  
  
“Shut up and roll. And yes, he does.”  
  
He rolls and gets three and two and she grumbles, taking the dice and rolling a five and one. “Why am I the only one drinking here?”  
  
“Hey, we’re both playing with the same dice, don’t look at me.” Miles rolls and gets three and three, so he takes three long draws out of his can.  
  
The game goes on until all of the beer is gone. Twelve cans and eight of them are in front of her.  
  
“You really suck at this game, Juliet.”  
  
She can’t stop laughing, and Miles suddenly has this paralyzing fear that LaFleur is going to kick his ass so hard he won’t be able to shit for a week. But, maybe if he knew what to expect, he could prepare himself and wouldn’t be as mad. Picking up the phone, he calls down to the security station, and as soon as Jim says hello, Miles is talking. “Look, don’t get mad, but I got your girlfriend toasted.”  
  
James stares at the phone before walking as far as the cord will let him. Damn seventies and no cordless fucking phones yet. “You  _what_?”  
  
“Look, we were just bored and there was beer, so you know. She’s fucking terrible at drinking games.”  
  
He’s quiet for a minute and is somewhere between amused and…well, he’s not angry, just, what the hell? “Put her on the phone.”  
  
There’s some shuffling, and the sound of something falling over (sounds like a chair), and Juliet cracking up in the background until she picks up the phone. “Hello?”  
  
“Drinkin’ in the middle of the day now Blondie?”  
  
“Ohhhhhh just once. Just for fun. It was a game. Just a game. A  _game_.”  
  
“So was it a game?”  
  
Juliet snorts into the phone. “Smart ass.”  
  
“You think you can control yourself ‘til I get home?”  
  
“Mhmm. We’re out of beer,” she says with a little bit of a sigh as she rubs her face.  
  
“Christ…fine. Look, I’ll be home at 5:30. You good?”  
  
She nods, forgetting that he can’t see her as she hands the phone back to Miles. “Uhhh, don’t worry boss. I got this,” and then he hangs up before James can say anything else. He can handle this. The next time he turns though, Juliet’s leaning against the wall with her eyes closed.  
  
“Think I’m drunk,” she states matter-of-factly.  
  
He’s so damn screwed.

 

**Day One-Hundred-Thirty-Six**

James really didn’t bother Juliet too much the night before, just let her sleep off the alcohol on the couch until it was time to move her to bed. Carrying her back to the bedroom, he takes off her shoes and jeans, then gets water to put on her nightstand. He already knows that the morning should be interesting.  
  
It’s no surprise that he’s up before her and he starts attempting some kind of breakfast. And he’s making as much noise as possible. Sure, he’s an ass, but how many times did he get to gloat about something? When he walks to the bedroom he stands in the doorway and smirks at the pillow she’s placed firmly over her head. “Hey there, Shooter. How you likin’ that tequila today?”  
  
“Not tequila. Beer,” she mutters.  
  
“Oh, well, that’s even better. Remind me not to let you around the hard stuff again.”  
  
Reaching out from under the comforter, she flips him off before her arm falls heavily onto the bed again. He laughs, rubbing a hand down his face before sitting on the edge of the bed. “Least you ain’t pukin’. Always the bright side.”  
  
She shifts, curling up on her side to face him. “You’re never going to let this go are you?”  
  
“Hell no. It’s the one time you’ve ever been drunker off your ass than me.”  
  
Juliet groans and looks up at him pleadingly. “Aspirin? Please?”  
  
“You gonna go and get drunk with Miles in the middle of the day again?”  
  
“I hate Miles,” she grumbles.  
  
“Nah, you don’t.”  
  
“No, I don’t. But he’s very convincing at getting people to drink with him.”  
  
“You’re gettin’ soft, Blondie. What happened to drinkin’ bottles of rum on the beach?”  
  
She rolls over so that she can look up at him, her smile a little silly. “You.”  
  
It’s silent for a few seconds before he rolls his eyes and stands up. “You’ve been readin’ too many damn romance novels,” he says as he walks out, though he turns back, tossing her a little smile before going to get the aspirin.

 

**Day One-Hundred-Thirty-Seven**

Juliet’s working on repairing a windshield, all the while with Susan prattling on in the background.  
  
“You know, cars aren’t the only thing I’m good at servicing. I’ve looked at boats, oh and helicopters! That’s exciting, isn’t it?”  
  
Juliet rolls her eyes, especially at the half circle of guys standing around her. Javier isn’t one of them, working beside Juliet to change a flat tire.  
  
“Oh, you know a helicopter can be tricky. It’s not as easy as say…” Susan gestures to a van and waves at it as if in dismissal. “As  _that_. I mean, anyone can service a van,” she laughs.  
  
Javier looks at Juliet. “Misses Julie, take deep breaths.”  
  
“I’m going to knock her out with my crow bar,” she mutters. “Tell James I loved him when I get sent away.”  
  
Susan’s completely unaware and she just goes on talking and talking, and finally Juliet just can’t take it anymore. “Shut the hell  _up_.”  
  
Silence falls on the motor pool, so quiet that you can hear a pin drop until Javier snickers and coughs to cover it up.  
  
“Excuse me?” Susan asks, turning toward Juliet.  
  
“No one cares, Susan. Do you think anyone here cares that you’ve serviced anything other than vans and jeeps? The only reason anyone’s paying you any attention is because these are single guys who have been living on an island for months. Single women, no matter how annoying, are a treat. Sadly for you, none of them have asked you out because you can’t stop talking for longer than five minutes. So do yourself a favor and stop looking at me every time you make a reference about something being so easy you wouldn’t even bother, before I shove my screwdriver down your throat.”  
  
With that, Juliet turns to go, all of the men watching her as she gets in a van and heads to the security station, Javier following in a jeep so that he can give her a ride back. He waves at Susan as they drive past, and the other woman just stands there in shock until storming off, her entire face completely red.

 

**Day One-Hundred-Thirty-Eight**

As soon as Juliet’s done putting away her new undergarments that came in on the sub, she sits down at the kitchen table to look at the catalog that Amy had handed over. “I need that back,” she’d whispered, and Juliet just rolled her eyes. Are they still really in a time where lingerie isn’t talked about? Or is it just because it’s the island and it’s weird to know that your neighbor is ordering item letter E: ‘black teddy with lace trim’?  
  
Browsing through the pages, she wonders idly if James would ever want to see her in something like this. It’s been cotton panties and bras the entire way, nothing sexy because she didn’t know that the DI  _offered_  anything sexy. She has different colored things, but nothing with lace or satin or whatever, and she wonders what James thinks. He’s never complained, but still. She’s trying to imagine herself in some of these things when the door opens and he’s walking in, turning back to take his boots off before making his way to the kitchen. “Hey,” she says with a soft smile, flipping pages.  
  
“Hey yourself. What time did you get home?”  
  
“Oh. Right. I didn’t go today.”  
  
“You didn’t tell me you were stayin’ home,” he says with a frown.  
  
“Yeah…” She rubs her forehead a little. “That’s because I didn’t tell you. It’s a one day suspension from my boss with no pay.”  
  
James blinks a little. “Say what?”  
  
“I threatened to shove a screwdriver down Susan’s throat,” she says casually, turning the page again.  
  
He stares at her for so long that she looks up, and finally he barks out a laugh. “Is that the incident report Javier came over with today? I ain’t even looked at it yet. Gave it to Jerry.”  
  
Juliet’s jaw drops a little. “She filed an incident report? God, what a fu-“ She’s interrupted by the dryer finishing it’s load of laundry. “Anyway. Those are your new boxers. Six pairs.”  
  
James grabs a beer out of the fridge, unzipping his jumpsuit before dropping a kiss to the top of her head. He can’t help but glance at the catalog when he does, and he immediately snatches it away from her. “What do we have here, Blondie?” he asks with a sideways grin.  
  
She blushes a little, turning to face him. “Amy gave it to me. Apparently DHARMA is branching out.”  
  
“So I see,” he muses as he flips the pages. “You gettin’ somethin’?”  
  
“Do you want me to get something?” she asks right back, tilting her head to the side a little as she watches him.  
  
He shrugs a little. “It all ends up on the floor, don’t matter to me,” he says casually before handing it back. “I’m goin’ to take a shower.” Before he goes, he gives her a proper kiss, then heads down the hallway. “By the way,” he calls. “I like letter G.”  
  
The door closes behind him and Juliet glances down quickly finding letter G among the baby dolls and teddies. She contemplates it for a solid five minutes before writing down the selection on an order form and closing the catalog. She’d return it to Amy in the morning.

 

**Day One-Hundred-Thirty-Nine**

He’s trying his hand at cooking again, because truth be told he doesn’t do it enough, but the fish don’t look exactly right, and he makes a face at the pan. He stares, then cuts into it and his suspicions are confirmed: It’s raw in the middle. “Shit,” he mutters, looking at the clock. Juliet’s home any minute, and it ain’t like he can just run and pick up something to eat at the fast food place around the corner. She’d end up cooking something. He stares at the fish again. How does it look so crispy on the edges?  
  
When she walks in, she hums appreciatively. “Smells good in here.” Walking into the kitchen, she smiles at the sight of him at the stove, then frowns at the look he gives her. “What?”  
  
“I ruined the fish. It’s completely raw inside.”  
  
Juliet moves to his side to look at it, then pokes it with the knife he’d been cutting it with. “Well. It’s the thought that counts, right?” She reaches out to rub his back, and really she can’t be too hard on him because the only thing she can cook well is pasta.  
  
“I was tryin’ to make it so you didn’t have to cook tonight.”  
  
She shrugs a little. “I still don’t. I’m fine with cereal if you are.” She unzips her jumpsuit and steps out of it, disappearing for a second into the utility room to toss it in the hamper before re-emerging in a tank top and shorts.  
  
He checks her out, starting with her legs before smirking a little and meeting her eyes. “DHARMA cornflakes it is.” James steps forward, grabbing her arm and pulling her against him in the small confines of the kitchen.  
  
“Hmm. Hi,” she says softly before pecking his lips in a quick kiss. “How was your day?”  
  
His hands move up and down her arms before wrapping around her. “Borin’, but I ain’t complainin’.” He kisses her again, backing her up until she’s against the fridge. His mouth moves down the curve of her neck, stopping at the hollow of her throat to press his lips there.  
  
She moans quietly and is about to tug off his shirt when there’s a loud knock on the door. “Ignore it,” she pleads with him, but she knows he can’t, being the head of security.  
  
He kisses her again apologetically before answering the door. “What the hell do you want?” he asks in exasperation as Miles makes his way in.  
  
“Look, don’t cook anything, Jin made some kind of chicken.”  
  
“Some kind of chicken?” Juliet says with an eyebrow arch.  
  
“If it isn’t the town drunk,” he says in greeting. “And yeah, it’s good, come over.”  
  
James and Juliet look at each other and she smirks just enough that James gets it. Shoving Miles back out of their house he calls after him. “No thanks Enos, maybe next time.” Closing the door, he locks it and turns back to Juliet who’s now busy taking off her top.  
  
“You’re giving up chicken for cereal?” she asks innocently as she turns to make her way down the hallway.  
  
“Ain’t the chicken I’m worried about,” he says as he follows her, and her laugh carries them all the way to the bedroom.

 

**Day-One-Hundred-Forty**

As soon as Juliet hears James yell, she knows why it’s happening, and she winces in bed. It’s three in the morning and she sits up, reaching out to turn on the bedside lamp. He’s standing in the doorway holding his foot, her work boot tipped to the side. She’d been too tired to walk all the way back to the living room to put the boots by the door, so she’d left them in the bedroom. A hazard James didn’t think about in the dark on the way to the bathroom.  
  
“Son of a  _bitch_ ,” and at least he’s not yelling now, waking up the neighbors, so she gets up and picks up the boots.   
  
“I’m sorry,” she apologizes, brushing past him to put them by the front door. By the time she gets back, he’s in bed again but the lamp is still on so she can see that he’s nice and irritated.  
  
“You’re always yellin’ at me,” he mutters.  
  
“I said I’m sorry. Are you alright?”  
  
“It’ll be fine,” and it’s almost like a pout; so much so that she rolls her eyes as she turns off the lamp. “You know you can’t yell at me when I leave my boots out now.”  
  
She turns to face him. “So you’re going to do it on purpose?”  
  
“No, just when it happens, you can’t get mad.”  
  
“When it’s an accident, I don’t get mad. When you don’t listen after I’ve asked you, that’s when I get mad. We could keep discussing the finer points, but it’s three in the morning.”  
  
It’s quiet for such a long time that she starts to drift, until he speaks again. “My toe still hurts.”  
  
She can tell by his tone that he’s over it, that he’s just saying it to gain sympathy now. “Shh. Sleeping.”  
  
“You’re not gonna kiss it, make it better?”  
  
“I’m not kissing your toe, James.”  
  
“Well what about me then?”  
  
Juliet opens her eyes and stares at him for a minute before scooting up to meet his lips. “I hope you’re enjoying this,” she smirks before kissing him.  
  
“I plan on milkin’ this one for a while,” he says smugly before pulling her down against him to enjoy his kiss.

 

**Day-One-Hundred-Forty-One**

Juliet’s been enduring Amy’s worry over whether or not her gift to Horace (some records from some hippie artist) is good enough, when suddenly James’ fingers are around her wrist. Apologizing to her friend, she lets him drag her away, and while everyone is distracted by Horace trying the cake, they slip through the rec room door and into the night air. It’s close to ten already and she sighs softly, glad to have escaped. “Thanks,” she says with a little smile, looking up at him.  
  
He shrugs a little, walking with an arm around her. “Don’t mention it. ‘Round the fifth time Jerry asked me if I wanted to see his magic tricks I saw the look of pain on your face and figured you needed out ‘bout as bad as me.”  
  
“Magic tricks with Jerry? Sounds dirty.”  
  
“Sure it probably was, if I’d bothered to give a shit. As it turns out, I don’t.”  
  
She smirks as they pass the cafeteria, but he stops walking, eyeing the doors. “What?”  
  
He turns to her, reaching into his pocket and pulling out his keys. “How ‘bout it, Blondie? Break in for some ice cream?”  
  
Juliet arches an eyebrow before looking around, silently walking about half of the perimeter in both directions. “You’re clear.” She stays alert as he unlocks the door, then slips inside with him once he’s holding the door open.  
  
“No lights, straight to the back,” he instructs as he helps guide her in the dark. Their path is lit by the lights coming from inside the ice cream freezers at the end of the food lines but he bypasses those, and once they get to the back he shuts the door and flicks on the store room light. “Be right back.”  
  
While he’s gone, she hoists herself onto one of the countertops, looking around at all of the different foods. Everything’s packaged in white with a DHARMA logo, and she honestly has no clue how anyone finds what they’re looking for when it all looks the same. When James comes back, it’s with a half gallon of vanilla ice cream and two spoons, wearing a triumphant grin. Sitting on the counter with her, he hands her a spoon before opening the carton and digging in. They eat together for a while in silence until she breaks it.  
  
“My sister and I used to steal ice cream from the drug store when we were little.”  
  
James gives a mock gasp of surprise. “Juliet Burke, how do you live with yourself?”  
  
She punches him in the arm lightly before continuing. “It was those really small one serving containers, and we’d put them in our pockets. We lived so close to home they’d be perfectly soft by the time we got there. Until one day our grandmother took us on a few errands with her. By the time we were done, Rachel and I both had ice cream running down our legs.”  
  
“Why didn’t you just ditch it?”  
  
“We were eight and six. Not exactly thinking about ditching ice cream.”  
  
He shakes his head with a smirk. “I never was allowed to have ice cream. My momma…she didn’t let me have anythin’ with sugar in it. ‘Cept at Thanksgivin’, Christmas, and my birthday. On my birthday, I could have as much as I wanted. Then she’d use me gettin’ myself sick as a reason why she didn’t allow it.”  
  
Juliet smiles a little around her spoon as he speaks, trying to imagine a four or five year old James, eating as much candy as he could. This is one of the rare times he actually opens up about his childhood, and she looks over at him. “What about Halloween?”  
  
He snorts. “We were the house that gave out toothbrushes an’ apples.”  
  
She laughs softly before taking another bite. Every now and then they trade stories, but nothing again from their childhoods. They stick to her college adventures and his wild days. When they’ve both had enough, he puts the ice cream back and returns for her, giving her a soft (and cold) kiss before helping her down so that they can leave as quietly as they broke in.

 

**Day One-Hundred-Forty-Two**

There aren’t a lot of times to sit alone in silence, so when she can find a solitary moment she takes it. Which means she’s sitting on the porch at sunrise, already dressed for work and drinking a cup of coffee. She scans other houses and tries to decide what each porch says about the family living there. Amy’s has wicker patio furniture, Phil’s has his work boots lined up (four pairs, why does he need four?), Miles and Jin have nothing. There are some porches that have children’s toys. Those all-plastic big wheels, a couple of dolls here and there, and she closes her eyes, remembering having some of those exact same toys when she was a kid.  
  
She wonders what her five year old self is doing today. Probably taking Rachel’s things, because Rachel always had better stuff. Juliet always got the hand me downs, which were usually ruined by the time her sister outgrew them. Even the clothes weren’t really fair, because her mother had to sew them up somewhere, or there was a stain on something. Juliet hated being the youngest most of the time. She doesn’t remember what day it was when she was five, but she remembers the day she was sitting next to Rachel and accidentally spilled fruit punch on her at lunch. Rachel had cried because it was her favorite dress, her mother had yelled, and Juliet stayed perfectly quiet. It was an accident, but for once it wasn’t Rachel making Juliet cry. She kind of liked that.  
  
She’s torn out of her thoughts when the door opens and James drops down on the steps next to her, his own cup of coffee in hand. By now, lights are starting to come on in the houses, but they still have a few minutes before everyone comes out to start their day. She takes the time to lean against him and he raises his arm to wrap around her. She doesn’t have to say anything for him to know this is going to be one of those days.

 

**Day One-Hundred-Forty-Three**

"Come on, Juliet. Play some cards with us. We're not even drinking so there's no chance that you'll get embarrassingly drunk again."  
  
Juliet tosses Miles a deadly glare from her spot on the couch before going back to her book.  
  
"Careful, Enos. She still cusses your name when I open up a beer."  
  
"Okay, but you know I'm right when I say games are more fun when you incorporate drinking."  
  
"What the hell game would we be playin' anyway?"  
  
Jin's looking around, hoping this hand isn't being abandoned because he has a royal flush. When both Miles and James toss their cards down though, he mutters in Korean and puts his down as well.  
  
Miles gives a shrug. "I dunno. Maybe in the spirit of us getting to know each other better, we play 'I never'."  
  
Juliet and James both speak at the same time. "No."  
  
"Oh, well now we have to. Both of you protesting? What don't you want us to know?"  
  
"We're not playing that," Juliet says from the couch.  
  
"I thought you weren't playing shit with me anyway Juliet, you don't get a vote."  
  
"Well, I ain't playin' either, so pick a new game, Genghis."  
  
Miles shakes his head. "You guys suck."   
  
Jin looks mildly interested. "What is...'I never'? Drinking game?"  
  
"It is unless you're playing with a bunch of stiffs. Take some liquor, say something you've never done and if other people have done it, they take a shot."  
  
"I play," Jin decides.  
  
"Yeah? Look at this, the guy who speaks the least amount of English on the island is willing to play, and you two won't?"  
  
James and Juliet look at each other and she heaves a sigh, pulling herself off of the couch. "Fine. _Fine_. But we are not using tequila."  
  
Miles rolls his eyes. "Fine with me, you were totally trashed on beer anyway."  
  
She grabs a fresh six pack out of the fridge. "Horace is going to think we're a bunch of drunks, asking for libations so often."  
  
James shrugs, taking a sip of his beer. "What the hell else are we gonna do? And you get to start Miles, since you suggested the whole damn thing."  
  
He looks back and forth at both of them. "Alright, fine. I never got drunk off of beer."  
  
"You're an ass," Juliet says as she drinks out of a freshly opened can. "I never talked to dead people," she shoots back.  
  
"Really, is that how this is gonna go?" James asks. "Want me and Jin to leave the room so you two can bitch at each other?"  
  
"No," she says, looking over at him. "You go."  
  
He sits up. "I never finished high school."  
  
Juliet and Jin both drink, but Miles doesn't.  
  
"No shit?" James asks.  
  
"Nah, I didn't care. I was a punk. Dropped out when I was seventeen."  
  
Everyone turns to Jin, who thinks for a little while. "I never...had tie-dye," he says with an accomplished smile, and all three of them drink their beers.  
  
"My turn again, and, I never went to jail," Miles says, raising an eyebrow.  
  
James takes a drink. "We gonna get to the surprising shit any time soon? I never believed in aliens."  
  
Jin takes a drink, and at everyone's blank stares, he explains. "My grandmother. Says she saw something long time ago. I believe her."  
  
Juliet shakes her head with a smirk. "I've never cheated on a test."  
  
"There's a surprise," Miles snorts as he and James both take a drink.   
  
Jin looks around the table. "I never had one night stand."  
  
Everyone takes a sip at that. "You of pure heart and soul, Juliet?" Miles snarks, which gets him hit in the arm.  
  
"I was young and stupid once, too. It was before I ever met Edmund. I was...nineteen or so. We were at a party, I was sad, and...whatever."  
  
"Why were you sad?" And surprisingly, it's Miles who asks, taking an interest.  
  
Juliet's quiet for a minute, then clears her throat. "My mom was sick? For a long time, and my dad left when I was eight, and my sister was living in Texas with him, so it was just me. Mostly I dealt with it but sometimes...I don't know." She gives a little shrug and takes a deep breath. "Anyway, I never put money in a jukebox."  
  
James is kind of looking at her, because she hasn't really told him anything about her parents, just that her dad left, but he takes a drink of his beer while trying to think of things to say that might get more out of her. Jin takes his turn though first.  
  
"I never use chapstick."  
  
It's so damn ridiculous that Juliet, James, and Miles all laugh and finish their beers before opening more, and James finally takes his turn.  
  
"I never stayed one place long enough to get hurt."  
  
It's quiet for a minute, and Miles makes a face. "What the fuck, man?"  
  
But Juliet takes a sip of her beer. "I never ran away to avoid a situation I didn't want to be in."  
  
"Bullshit," Miles says. "Everyone does that, even if they don't mean to. And maybe they go back after, but everyone runs away," he says around the lip of his beer. "What do you think going to get boned when you were nineteen was?"  
  
"Hey," James says sharply.  
  
"Facts, man. You run away, get your...whatever out of the way, and a decent person goes back and deals with shit. Which she did."  
  
Suddenly all that James can think about is Clementine, and the money, and what he asked Kate to do before he jumped out of the helicopter. "Think I'm done for the night, boys," he says as he stands.  
  
"James," Juliet says quietly.  
  
"Nah, I'm good." He hasn't told her about that, about asking Kate to take care of Clementine. He walks out and into the bedroom, closing the door purposefully gentle behind him.  
  
Jin, Miles, and Juliet sit out a little longer, then she bids them goodnight and cleans up the kitchen before going to bed. The lights are off but she can make out the shape of him in the bed, lying on his stomach. Taking off her clothes, she slides in next to him, watching him in the dark until he brings an arm around her middle and pulls her closer. "You okay?" she asks quietly.  
  
"Yeah. You okay?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
He kisses her shoulder lightly and lets himself relax around her. There's no reason to bring up Kate now, but he stays awake thinking about it until he hears Juliet's breathing change to soft exhales of sleep, and finally he drops off too. He can always tell her in the morning.

 

**Day One-Hundred-Forty-Four**

James has been spending a lot of time thinking since the night before and the game of 'I never'. He didn't bring up anything Juliet said, and she didn't say anything to him this morning. When she leaves for work, he decides to stay home because he can do security reports just as easily in the silence of his own house as he can with Phil and Jerry talking at him in each ear. He's in the middle of working out how they're going to get four new cameras installed near the pylons when someone knocks on the door. Tossing off his glasses, he opens the door to reveal Susan.  
  
Son of a  _bitch_.  
  
"Could we talk?" she asks in a sort of sniffling way, and he steps aside.  
  
"What can I do you for, Susanna?"  
  
"It's just Susan," she says blandly.  
  
James holds up his hands. "My mistake," though it wasn't. He stands there and they stare at each other before he realizes he's supposed to invite her to sit. "Oh, right, yeah come on in. Make yourself comfortable. Can I get you anythin'?"  
  
"A spot of tea, maybe?"  
  
He has no idea how the hell much a spot of tea is, and they only have iced anyway. "Sorry, we're all out."  
  
"It's alright," she says as she sits. "I wanted to talk to you about Juliet."  
  
Go fucking figure. "What about Juliet?"  
  
"Well..." She begins hesitantly, as if she's having second thoughts. "I don't mean to intrude, but...have you ever noticed her attitude?"  
  
"Her  _attitude_?" He's ten seconds away from laughing.  
  
Susan nods. "She's just so ugly to me and I can't figure out why. Maybe it's because I'm British, or younger, or...I don't know, the boys seem to like hanging around my station often."  
  
James cannot believe this conversation is actually fucking happening, and he stares at her, before dragging a hand down his face. "Look, it ain't nothin' like that, alright? Sometimes people just don't get along."  
  
"She threatened me with a screwdriver, I hardly think that's just two people not getting along."  
  
"Is that what you're worried about? Her comin' at you?"  
  
Susan eyes him critically. "Yes. Because I know she  _would_."  
  
He turns his back for a minute, trying to make it seem like he's exasperated, but right now it's taking every ounce of will he has to not laugh. Finally, he composes himself and turns around. "Look, Curly Sue. Juliet won't do anything to get herself kicked outta this place, which means she won't be comin' after you. If you want, I can pull some strings and get you another assignment out of the motor pool." Because he's pretty sure Juliet won't find this as funny as he does, and if she ever finds out Susan came to the house to complain, she'll put the screwdriver threat to good use.  
  
Susan stands and clears her throat. "I would appreciate that, James, thank you. I'm just glad I didn't have to go to Horace regarding this...situation."  
  
"Yeah? Me too," he says as he guides her to the door.  
  
He'll be talking to Horace first thing in the morning to try and get Susan out of the motor pool. He just hopes she doesn't end up in security.

 

**Day One-Hundred-Forty-Five**

Juliet’s staring daggers at Susan in the motor pool, and Javier looks on nervously. He’s almost positive she could make Susan disappear, and he doesn’t want to be an accessory. Walking over to her, he leans against the van she's supposedly working on. "Misses Julie. Why you are staring at her like that? You cannot be like Carrie, make her explode."  
  
"Carrie never made anyone explode," Juliet corrects before shaking her head and looking at Javier. "You know she came to my house? Talked to James and said I don't like her because she's a better mechanic."  
  
Javier shakes his head. "She's got less brains than a dipstick. She keeps insisting I'm Brazilian, I keep telling her ‘no, I'm from Mexico’, but she argues with me, why would you argue? I know where I'm from. Ella es estúpida."  
  
Juliet snorts and goes back to leaning over the engine she's working on. "I don't have to prove myself to anyone. Especially not her."  
  
"No. You know..." he leans down and whispers conspiratorially. "I been hearing things. About Brian. He got a girl on main land who won't come here."  
  
Brian's their boss, the head mechanic, which means he mostly gets to sit inside all day and delegate work. "So what?"  
  
"So...someone has to take his place."  
  
"Right. And you think I should try for it?"  
  
"Misses Julie, it would be an honor working for you."  
  
For just a second she feels bad, because Javier only knows what she and James have told him, what their lie is. He's been such a good friend, but she knows she can't tell him anything, so she shrugs a little. "Maybe, I don't know. As long as I don't have to report to Susan," she says with a roll of her eyes.  
  
"Think if she had to report to you. She'd do anything you told her to."  
  
For a second, this thought makes Juliet smirk. "We'll see. For now I think James is trying to get Horace to send her somewhere else."  
  
"I hope it's straight to the sub," Javier mutters as a jeep pulls into his station. Adiós," he says with a wave.  
  
Juliet watches him with a little smile, and when she glances around again, she notices Susan is gone. She hopes Javier is right – Susan needs to go straight to the sub.

 

**Day One-Hundred-Forty-Six**

Juliet’s been awake for an hour, watching him sleep and refusing to move lest she wake him. He looks so different when he’s asleep; the lines on his forehead disappear. The frown he’s had every now and then since the night of ‘I never’ isn’t there. Reaching out, she brushes a piece of hair away from his face, wondering how often he thinks about his daughter and trying to find her one day. She doesn’t think it’s an absurd thought. Hell, she’d help him if he let her. But she knows what Miles said the other night hit home, and they haven’t talked about it at all.  
  
Leaning forward, she presses her lips against his neck gently and after a while she feels his arm squeeze around her as he makes a pleased sound in the back of his throat.  
  
“Well good mornin’ to you, too,” he says in a voice still husky with sleep.  
  
“I love you,” she whispers, watching him, and maybe it isn’t fair to spring this on someone at nine in the morning right as they’re waking up, but she’s taking her chances.  
  
“I love you,” James replies, looking just as intently back at her. “What’s wrong?”  
  
“Nothing,” she says quickly, though she stops, shaking her head after a while. “I just…the other night. I know you were thinking about Clementine.”  
  
“Now you know what I’m thinkin’?”  
  
“James…” Her voice is soft, and maybe a little hurt at that as she presses her fingers against his chest. “I know you. Tell me I’m wrong.”  
  
He stares at her for a long moment before sighing, dragging a hand over his face and muttering. “You ain’t wrong.” And Christ, he does not want to be having this conversation right now, not while he’s still waking up, but he knows he has to. “I pulled a con when I was in jail. Got a chunk of money out of it and had it set up in a bank account for Clementine.” He’s sitting up now, arms draped across his knees.  
  
“That’s good,” Juliet says, reaching up to touch his shoulder, and he looks at her fingers like maybe he doesn’t deserve to have them there.  
  
“On the helicopter, before jumpin’, I told Kate. I told her about the money, and I told her to make sure the kid got it. ‘Cause I knew, soon as I jumped out, I was never goin’ back home.”  
  
She’s silent for a few seconds, looking up at him from where she’s lying. “You don’t want to meet her?” she finally asks.  
  
“No.”  
  
“Why, James?” she questions with a soft frown.  
  
“She’s better off without a guy like me tryin’ to come in and be her daddy.” He gets up, reaching for his discarded t-shirt on the floor. “’Sides. I had a dad. Ain’t all it’s cracked up to be.”  
  
James walks out of the room and Juliet stays there, quietly thinking over what he’s told her, and wondering if Kate actually did it.

 

**Day One-Hundred-Forty-Seven**

She knows it can’t last forever, his working the same hours as her, so while they walk home together tonight, she laces her fingers with his, enjoying the silence between them as they go. There’s a new family moving in about four houses down from them, the kid standing there tossing a ball up and in the air and catching it while his parents talk to Horace. James and Juliet have a perfect view of all the houses from the angle they’re approaching, and he breaks the silence.  
  
“Which one was yours, Blondie? Back in 2004?”  
  
Juliet stops walking and points to one cattycorner to Amy’s. “That one.”  
  
He stands next to her, staring at where she’s pointing, regretting that he asked, wishing that he hadn’t, as all kinds of memories come up that he’s done good at pushing down. And somewhere in the past few weeks he’s lost his poker face with her because she looks at him curiously.  
  
“What?”  
  
“Nothin,” he says, tugging at her hand again.  _Shit_.  
  
She’s stubborn and stops walking again, making him have to stop on account of still having his hand in hers. “James, what’s wrong?”  
  
His back is to her as he stares out at that house.  
  
 _You're gonna be alright. I'll keep you safe._  Not something he’d said to Juliet. He finally turns back to her and runs a hand down his face. “That’s where I stayed. Back when you and the Doc were on the beach. Me and Freck - Kate. Me and Kate stayed in there for a while. Hurley too,” he adds, like that’ll make it better. “But she didn’t say. ‘Course I said somethin’ to piss her off.”  
  
“You sound disappointed,” Juliet says curtly before letting go of his hand.  
  
“Blondie, come on!”  
  
She’s already walking past him. Because he and Kate were in her house. They slept together in her bed. And she knows that shouldn’t matter – she wasn’t ever going back to that house – but they were there together, in her bed, and she’s vaguely aware of James calling after her but she doesn’t stop. She’s actually startled when he grabs her arm.  
  
“Juliet,” he says, voice low as he looks down at her. “You know that don’t matter. Tell me you know that don’t matter.”  
  
A wave of conflict passes over her features before she finally looks up at him. “She matters. You loved her.”  
  
“That was a long time ago.”  
  
She laughs, and steps onto their porch, turning to look down at him where he’s still standing. “No it wasn’t. James, it wasn’t, it was…less than six months ago.”  
  
“Why are you countin’, Juliet?” he asks, his eyes intent on her. When she looks back at him, his chest tightens at the way she looks like everything’s about to fall apart.  
  
“I just…” She stops, closing her eyes for a second before continuing. “If she comes back, where does that leave me?”  
  
He’s never thought he was the kind of guy who’d feel that kind of hurt over what a woman said to him, but he looks at Juliet and wants to shake her by the shoulders as he steps up onto the porch. “I’m with you. I don’t care if she comes back tomorrow.” His thumb moves to her chin, making her look up. “I love you.”  
  
When she looks up to meet his eyes, Juliet believes him and pulls him into a kiss. Urgency wins out over slow, and he backs up with her until they’re inside, the door firmly closed against the past.

 

**Day One-Hundred-Forty-Eight**

It’s early – so early that the hues of sunrise mix with stars – and James is sitting on the porch, wondering what to do. He knows he threw Juliet for a loop, telling her he was with Kate, but it was an even bigger surprise to him to find out she's been counting how much time has actually passed. Maybe that's his problem, that he's just going with whatever's happening. He doesn't really know anything else though; never stayed in one place long enough to need to think things through and plan them out. And he's man enough to admit to himself that he's never loved someone the way he loves Juliet. Not that he can figure out any good way to say that without sounding ridiculous.  
  
He hears the door open and he twists to look behind him. She's wearing a pair of DHARMA shorts and one of his undershirts, and damn if she doesn't look amazing. Her hair's still messed up from sleep and she's barefoot, and he wants to take her right back in the house while the bed is still warm and forget about starting the day. "Mornin'," he says quietly, raising an arm.  
  
She sits and leans in against him, closing her eyes. "Morning." Her voice is still laced with sleep and she presses her face against the jumpsuit. "You're up early," she murmurs.  
  
"Yeah. I was just thinkin'."  
  
"Anything interesting?" She sounds almost like she's ready to go back to sleep again.  
  
“Not really. Well, I was thinkin’…about that cabin we’re gettin’ in Colorado once we get out of here.”  
  
She hums softly. “What about it?”  
  
“Well, you gotta have a good dog, livin’ in a cabin,” he teases, squeezing her gently.  
  
Juliet indulges him for a minute before pulling back enough to look at him. “That’s not what you’re out here thinking about.”  
  
He looks a little helpless for a second, then sighs, looking away from her. “Yeah, well. What I’m thinkin’ is gonna come out sounding like a Hallmark card written by a teenage kid, so I’ll just keep it to myself.”  
  
“Tell me anyway,” she urges.  
  
James really doesn’t want to, but maybe if this is what it takes to convince her, he shouldn’t be so chicken shit. “I haven’t been…countin’ the days we’ve been together. ‘Cause I just figured…this was us, from here on out. I didn’t know you thought it was temporary.”  
  
She opens her mouth, then closes it again, thinking about how she wants to respond. And she can’t figure herself out, so she just sighs softly. “I’m sorry. I don’t think that. I just… always end up alone,” she says with a half shrug, biting back threatening tears.  
  
“Hey,” he says firmly, turning her so that she can see his eyes, and he looks at her intently. “I told you I got your back. That don’t limit itself to shootin’ people in hostile situations. Okay?”  
  
Juliet gives a little smile. “Okay.”  
  
“Even if it’s shootin’ a spider. Even if it’s gettin’ Susan shipped back to merry old England.”  
  
That gets her to smile wider. “Okay.”  
  
He wraps his arm around her again and pulls her close, letting out a soft breath as he repeats her word quietly, looking out at the sunrise again. “Okay.”

 

**Day One-Hundred-Forty-Nine**

Juliet doesn’t normally work on Sundays, but she goes in today specifically because James has tomorrow off and she’d rather spend it with him. It’s quiet, no one’s around to bother her, and she gets lost in her work quickly enough. She doesn’t even hear footsteps approach while she’s tinkering under a van.  
  
“Always did like a woman who could get dirty.”  
  
She smirks, rolling her eyes as she slides out from under the vehicle and looks up at him. “What are you doing here? I thought you said for the next two days you weren’t getting out of bed?”  
  
“Well hell, bed ain’t as much fun when you’re alone in it. Just came to see you, that’s all. Figured I could help with somethin’.” Reaching out, he grabs her hands and pulls her up, then wraps his arms around her. “How’s it goin’ anyway?”  
  
“Good,” she answers honestly. “I just have a jeep to service after this, and then I’m done.” They both know that even though it sounds quick, she could be stuck for a while.  
  
“Take a break, Blondie,” he says, leaning in to kiss her. He makes a sound of approval in the back of his throat when she doesn’t push him away. He figures she probably would if they weren’t the only two people on site. Eventually she does pull away, though.  
  
“I need to work,” she says with a little smile, and it’s the weakest protest she’s ever put up. Especially since she’s already kissing him again. He backs up with her until she’s against the van, and then he’s pressing against her and she breaks the kiss again. “James…”  
  
He clears his throat, looking around before opening the side door of the van. Stepping inside, he holds out his hand to her, but she looks up at him. “No, James, we’re not…”  
  
“Come on, where’s your sense of adventure?” he says with a smile, and it’s finally his dimples that win her over. Taking his hand, she steps into the van and he slides the door closed while she moves to the back. “Didn’t you ever make out in a car when you were a teenager?”

She gives him a pointed look. “Really, James? That’s all we’re doing here? Making out?” But she reaches for him, pulling him close so that she can kiss him again. Her tongue slides over his, and it isn’t long before hands are everywhere, in her hair, tugging off his shirt, pulling away her jumpsuit. Sex in a van isn’t exactly the most comfortable thing to do, but as his fingers start roaming over her skin she stops caring about what’s comfortable. His lips follow his hand down across the curve of her breast, down her sternum and across her stomach. He nuzzles affectionately before she tugs him back up, wrapping a leg around his hip. He doesn’t give her what she wants though, not yet. Instead, he takes his time kissing her, reaching between them to touch her and she gasps, closing her eyes and arching her back when a finger slips inside of her.  
  
He can never get enough of watching her face when he does this, the way her skin flushes and her forehead creases when her lips part. It’s part knowing that he does this to her, and part the fact that she’s goddamn gorgeous. He loves making her fall apart but he knows somewhere in the back of his mind that they don’t have time for this. Not in the back of a van in the motor pool. When he moves his hand she protests, whimpering softly, but he moves over her, then inside of her and she moans his name loudly. Bending to cover her lips with his own, he rocks against her, hands braced on either side of her head as he moves. Her hands are moving up and down his arms and sides, and when she urges him to move faster he groans before giving in. He can’t kiss her properly anymore, his lips are just grazing over hers, breathing her in as she pants heavily. He feels her fingernails dig into his shoulders and he groans as her eyes close. Her entire body arches into his as she tenses and comes, gasping out his name in the stifling air of the van. James moves a little harder, a little faster, burying his face against her neck to stifle a loud groan as he follows her, hips stuttering out of rhythm.  
  
When he’s still, he realizes Juliet’s placing soft kisses across his shoulder, so he moves to look at her as a sated grin finds its way to his mouth. “I’d say that was pretty damn good.”  
  
“Mmmm. Maybe we’ll have to do it again sometime,” she says lazily. “But now, I have to go back to work if you ever want me to come home tonight.” She starts pulling on her jumpsuit again, and he’s pulling on clothes. When they’re decent, she opens the door and looks around a little before getting out.  
  
James follows suit and pulls her into a light kiss. “See you when you get home.” He turns to go, and she leans against the van for a second, grinning in his wake.

 

**Day One-Hundred-Fifty**

He feels a little guilty about going back to work overnights. If he could, he'd make it so he never worked the graveyard shift again, but as it is, Phil's been complaining to Horace, and H is being as nice as he can about it, but the fact is James is the head of security, so he has to get back to work. He spends the day hovering around Juliet, probably a little too much because she has the day off, and she keeps telling him she's fine, that she'll be okay. He asks Jin to check on her from a distance anyway, make sure nothing happens in the middle of the night.  
  
The shift couldn't go by any slower, really, except for around three in the morning when some kids decide to break into the school to try and steal a test. Which is minor, only it makes him miss his break and that was the only time he could have gone home to make sure Juliet's actually sleeping and not up reading all damn night. When he finally does get home, the sun's just coming up over the trees, but it's still dark enough that he can tell there's no lights on. With any luck she's still asleep, and she slept through the night. Entering quietly, he takes off his boots at the door, turns the corner and stops short. She's on the couch, under a blanket asleep, and he sighs a little, watching her.  
  
James doesn't know what he expected, but the guilt comes back in waves at the fact that she couldn't even sleep in the bed, and he moves to the couch quietly, kneeling in front of it. "Hey, Blondie," he whispers softly, reaching out to push a strand of hair behind her ear. She starts awake, tense in the semi-dark until she focuses on him and relaxes.  
  
"Hi," she mumbles sleepily, shifting a little.  
  
"Hey yourself. What are you doin' on the couch?"  
  
She looks a little sheepish, so he doesn't make her say it. Instead he bends down to meet her lips. "C'mon. Let's go to bed." Reaching out, he helps her off the couch, his hand in hers as they go to the bedroom. "I'm takin' a shower, I'll be right back," he promises before disappearing into the bedroom. He doesn't take long, just a quick scrub, and he doesn't even bother with boxers after drying off, just gets into bed with her, and she automatically slides into the curve of him, his arms wrapping around her.  
  
"I'm glad you're home," she sighs softly, and he doesn't even get a chance to tell her he's glad to be home before he feels her relax against him in sleep.  
  
He kisses her shoulder and drops off to sleep behind her, glad that she'll get some sleep now, at least.


	6. Month Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end - thank you to anyone who reads, I appreciate it!

**Day One-Hundred-Fifty-Two**

They’re tangled up arms and legs, and as her thoughts wander, she voices one. “How long are we going to stay here?”  
  
All that James can see is the top of her head, and he pauses in stroking her hair to think about her question. "Guess I figured we'd stay 'til Locke came back."  
  
"I don't think he is. It's like I said on the dock. I think he did what he was supposed to do."  
  
"Well, then...I guess the question is when do you wanna go?"  
  
She's quiet for a few long minutes. "Well, obviously we need to be gone before the Purge. We have 17 years for that though, I think. Give or take."  
  
"So if we have 17 years, what's your rush?" he asks gently.  
  
She rolls over, then pushes herself up into a sitting position against the headboard. "I just want to know. I need...a plan, I need  _something_." Juliet looks at him with a little bit of hesitation in her eyes, like maybe this conversation is too much, and he reaches for her again.  
  
"Hey. So we make a plan. How long, between the two of us, is it gonna take to make enough money to get off the island and get that cabin in Colorado?"  
  
"Seventeen years," she responds automatically, then gives him a little smirk.  
  
"Not quite," he says, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. "Ain't like we're funnelin' money back home like most people here. So we save our combined cash. Five years, Blondie. We could start the 80s off the island."  
  
Juliet smiles, liking the sound of it, but looking up at him. "What if you're right and I'm wrong? And Locke comes back and gets us all back to the right time?"  
  
"Cabins still exist in 2006, don't they?"  
  
She smiles again, wider this time before kissing the underside of his neck. "I love you."  
  
"Love you, too," he replies before tugging her over him, glad that they finally worked that out.

 

**Day One-Hundred-Fifty-Three**

When he comes home on a break, it looks like a damn tornado hit the house on the inside. Furniture's everywhere, all the lights are on, and the record player is up almost as loud as it can get. James finally sees her pushing the couch up against the wall and catches her eyes. He can't even get a word out before she's explaining.  
  
"We needed a change."  
  
From outside, the record player isn't that loud, so he doesn't think the neighbors were bothered much, but he turns it down a few notches. "It's two in the mornin’. You got work at eight, right?"  
  
"Yeah," she says dismissively. "I just couldn't sleep until this was done. And it almost is, I'm figuring out where I want to put the extra chairs."  
  
"Juliet, you gotta start gettin' more sleep at night."  
  
"I'm fine," she insists, but she doesn't quite meet his gaze.  
  
"Jules..."  
  
"I have to get over it, okay? It'll take time. So please, James, just..."  
  
There's silence for a minute as he looks around the room. "We should move the table over to the other side, give us more space in here," he offers.  
  
She nods gratefully, moving the table as he makes his way toward her. Her back is to him, and there's a second when he's not sure of what he's doing, but then he brings a hand to her shoulder and squeezes lightly. When she turns, he wraps his arms around her. "Hey, it's okay," he says quietly. "It's like you said. It'll just take some time." He hates that he can't do something to fix it.  
  
Juliet takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. "And you're right. I need more sleep. Work has been....and Christ, Susan after no sleep, it's getting unbearable." She tugs James down to kiss his forehead, lingering for a little while before speaking softly. "Don't worry about me. I'll be okay."  
  
As he leaves again, he knows that not worrying when it comes to Juliet is impossible. Turning to look over his shoulder, he watches the lights go out in the living room, the light go on in the bedroom, and he sighs in relief.

 

**Day One-Hundred-Fifty-Four**

Juliet doesn't even see James as she leans against the counter to make coffee. She's wearing DHARMA shorts and a thin tank top, and he watches her from their entry way where he's been pulling off his boots. Her hair is still mussed, and all he can think is that it's a damn shame she's going to work. He's willing to bet that the bed is still warm and she's still tired enough to wrap right around him.  
  
When he clears his throat, she finally turns and looks over, giving him a sleepy smile. "Hey you. How was work?" The coffee pot is on, and she moves toward him yawning a little.  
  
He finally tugs his boots off and intercepts her, wrapping his arms around her waist. "Long. Borin'. How'd you sleep?"  
  
She nuzzles against his neck, breathing him in with a soft sigh. "Good. Wish I could go back to bed."  
  
"You could always play hookie. Come take a shower with me, crawl into bed."  
  
Juliet groans a little. "Don't tempt me."  
  
"I could even make us some breakfast, bring it to you in bed." He's kissing up and down her neck, stopping against the skin just below her ear. "C'mon, Blondie."  
  
She looks at him, and his lips capture hers, his hands working under her tank top. The part of her brain telling her that it's still too early in the year to use her time off like this is quickly shutting down. When his hands dip under her shorts, all of her resolve is lost. "Okay," she manages, breaking her mouth away from his. "I'll stay."  
  
James grins in success, picking her up and tossing her over his shoulder playfully. "I win."   
  
Her laughter carries all the way down the hall, and the coffee is completely forgotten.

 

**Day One-Hundred-Fifty-Five**

Juliet holds up the thin, pink lingerie with the yellow trim and immediately wonders what the hell she was thinking when she placed her order. In all honesty, she’d forgotten about it, but now that the garment is here, she can’t imagine herself actually wearing it. She doesn’t even know what the point of lingerie is when it winds up on the floor  _anyway_. Still, as she changes for bed in the bathroom, she slips it on, because she paid for it, she has to wear it at least once.  
  
Walking out of the bathroom, she goes back to the bedroom where James is reading, but doesn’t make a show out of necessarily trying to model for him. She figures if he likes it he’ll say so. When he finally does look up from his book, he lets out a low whistle.  
  
“Damn, Blondie,” he says, book forgotten as he puts it back on the nightstand. James looks her up and down, lingering on her legs. “ _Damn_.”  
  
“I take it you like it,” she smirks as she moves to the side of the bed. His fingers reach out to trail across her thigh gently.  
  
“Yeah. I like it. This is the one I said I liked in that catalog, ain’t it?”  
  
She nods and moves onto the bed, climbing over him to her side. “I figured…what the hell. Why not buy it?”  
  
Reaching over, he kisses her softly, his fingers tangling in her hair for a second before pulling back a little to look at her. “Think I also remember sayin’ you didn’t have to wear anythin’ like this just for me.”  
  
“Admit it though, you love it.”  
  
He smirks. “I never said you didn’t look good. But it ain’t this that does it for me. It’s you in it.”  
  
Juliet knows that he doesn’t consider himself profound with words, and that he probably has no idea how good it feels to know he feels that way. Especially after Edmund flaunted the prettier, curvier girls right in front of her. Going still, she watches as James leans over, and slowly, the straps of the lingerie come down her shoulders. “I love you,” she says quietly, her eyes on his when he looks up at her.  
  
Smiling so that his dimples show, he pulls her over him, hands sliding up her thighs as he looks right back at her. “Love you, too.”

 

**Day One-Hundred-Fifty-Six**

They don't get to do anything like traditional dating often. Take a van to one of the valleys and look at the stars, but otherwise there's too many people hanging around or he's being called out at weird hours to help with something. Tonight though, James is pretty sure he's got it figured out. Strolling to the motor pool at 5:30, he sees Juliet saying goodbye to Javier and catches her eye. She smiles at him from a distance, but he can still see that one dimple working. When he finally reaches her, he nods toward a van. "Can I check one out for the night?"  
  
She raises an eyebrow. "Are you working?" She grabs a clipboard with the release forms on it and starts filling it out.  
  
"Maybe," he grins, but at her narrowed eyes he shakes his head. "Nah. Just got somewhere I wanna go is all."  
  
Juliet eyes him warily, then hands him the form to sign. "I've got my eye on you, LaFleur."  
  
"Good. Ride with me back to the house."  
  
Javier is looking at Juliet and whistles under his breath. "Gonna be a long night for you, chica."  
  
She blushes, but she gets in the van with James as he starts it up, and they drive the short distance to their house. But when she goes to get out, he stops her.   
  
"Actually, I just gotta get some stuff. You stay here." When she narrows her eyes again, he leans over to kiss her. "I'll be right back."  
  
While he's in the house, she can't help but grin and wonder what exactly he has planned. They've fallen into a sort of routine now that he's working overnights again, but she feels like she doesn't seen him often. Or, as often as she wants to which happens from time to time. Still, he never fails to surprise her when she least expects it.  
  
When he comes out of the house, he's carrying a basket - the same basket he gave her grief about ordering a while back - and he tosses it in the back of the van before coming back around to the front.  
  
"I thought you said a picnic basket was...how did you put it? 'From the fifties, not the seventies, so get with the times'."  
  
James holds up his hands apologetically. "I stand corrected, Blondie. You wanna go out?"  
  
"Say please." She's kidding, mostly, and isn't expecting anything, but suddenly he's turning in the seat.  
  
"Juliet Burke. Will you date me?"  
  
He's looking at her so earnestly, that when he finally smiles, she explodes into laughter. "Okay, yes, I'll go out on a date with you."  
  
He kisses her chastely before driving out, far into the North Valley, almost the edge, sticking to the trees. She knows where they're going, a little area surrounded by rocks on both sides, and she hums happily when she's proven right. Once the van stops, she gets out and looks out at the water from the beach while he sets up. The blanket is spread and he brings out some hastily made sandwiches and a bottle of wine - no glasses, she notes.  
  
Sitting down, she toes off her shoes and looks over at him. "I like it when we keep it classy," she grins before leaning over to kiss him softly. "This is nice. Thank you."  
  
"You're welcome. Figured we could both stand to get outta the house." He kisses her again, hand moving up the side of her face and anchoring there to hold her close. He pulls back for a second, grinning a little. "Wanna go for a swim?"  
  
Her stomach growls; loud enough for them both to hear, answering his question for her. "You go. I'll catch up," she smiles, pulling back so that he can stand up.  
  
Tugging off his jumpsuit, then the clothes underneath, he tosses a glance over his shoulder and smirks at the fact that he knew for sure she'd be watching him. He watches her eyes move up and down his body before heading down to the water and diving in once he's deep enough. He gets his hair wet, swimming underwater for a minute before coming back up with a wide smile. "Water's perfect," he calls out to her.  
  
Juliet has her sandwich in her hand, but she's more interested in watching him than she really is in eating. Still, she watches and eats, then pulls the cork out of the bottle of wine they'd started on two nights ago. Taking a sip, she sighs contently, then watches him as he comes back toward the beach. His body is revealed deliciously slow, and her eyes travel down his front, though he stops when the water is at his naval. Dammit.  
  
"You comin' or what, Blondie?"  
  
With a little laugh, Juliet stands up and unzips her jumpsuit, then takes off her clothes until she's just as naked as he is before making her way into the water. When she's standing right in front of him, she looks up and tilts her head to the side with a small smile. "Hi."  
  
"Hey yourself," he replies, bending down to catch her lips with his.  
  
She sighs softly and pushes back after their kiss, letting herself move onto her back so that she can float. The sun's setting, casting the water in a red and gold hue, and she closes her eyes. Her hair fans out, and her fingers dip in and out of the water.  
  
He watches her, takes in what's laid out before him and quietly moves to her side. His fingers trail across her stomach and he sees her muscles jerk involuntarily. It makes him smile, and he bends down to kiss her, only content with that momentarily. Pulling her up, his arms wrap around her for support, even as her legs come around his waist. He kisses her again, their bodies pressing together in a show of need and want.

 

**Day One-Hundred Fifty-Seven**

It’s been a long shift, but the perk to going into work at seven in the morning is that by the time he gets off, there’s still time to spend with Juliet before they go to bed. When he walks through the door though, he finds her asleep on the couch with a book open across her stomach. Closing the door quietly, he takes off his boots before walking over and sitting on the ottoman to watch her. Reaching for the book, he slides it out from under her hands and glances at the title. ‘War and Peace’, go figure she’s asleep. She shifts, murmuring softly, one arm falling off the couch. Carefully, James repositions her so that she’s comfortable, then simply watches her.  
  
He realizes that staring at someone while they sleep could be considered mildly off putting, so he stands to go, reaching over her body for the blanket to cover her up.  
  
“Where’re you goin’?” she asks groggily, shifting on the couch and opening her eyes.  
  
He doesn’t stop covering her up, though. “Gonna make dinner. Go back to sleep,” he says quietly before bending down to kiss the top of her head. His fingers push her hair back behind her ear before straightening back up and disappearing into the kitchen.  
  
She smiles lazily and lets herself drift off again to the sounds he’s making in the kitchen. He gets out something from the freezer, then something from the pantry and she hears him pause. The silence goes on too long, and she calls out sleepily. “Left hand drawer by the fridge.”  
  
When he opens the drawer, there’s the can opener, and he looks back over at the couch. She’s still curled up, eyes closed. “How’d you know?”  
  
Juliet simply smirks. “I always know.” She’s lulled to sleep again by the sounds of his cooking, comforted by the fact that he’s home.

 

**Day One-Hundred-Fifty-Eight**

Before Juliet can even toe off her work boots, James is closing the door behind her and pressing her against it, kissing her hard and deep until she’s breathless. She’d had a terrible day, she’d planned on grabbing the rum and heading into the backyard, but James has other plans and she’s okay with that. His hands push at the zipper of her jumpsuit, she starts toeing off her boots, and her fingers work on getting the zipper of his jeans down. They only take off what they have to, and she wraps her legs around his waist so that he can thrust into her.  
  
She buries her face in his neck, crying out his name every time he moves. He grunts when her nails dig into his shoulders even through his shirt, and his mouth attaches itself to her shoulder, biting gently. He soothes the mark with his tongue and finds her mouth even as she starts to fall apart around him. Her jaw drops and he breathes her in until he’s coming with her, holding her body against his. For a little while they stay just like that, her against the wall and his body, his hands on her hips. Finally, when she can speak, she blinks slowly.  
  
“What…what was that for?”  
  
He kisses her collar bone, then takes a step back before shrugging a little. “Just sayin’ hi. Missed you.”  
  
“Did you know I had a terrible day?” she asks with a quiet murmur, lips against the stubble of his jaw.  
  
“Don’t matter. You’re home now.” He walks with her to the shower, and she closes the door behind her on the damn day.

 

**Day One-Hundred-Fifty-Nine**

Juliet is always grateful for the days that don’t involve having to get up and go to work. When she can stay in bed all day and doze at her leisure. The days when James can stay home to enjoy that with her, well, that’s a bonus. All that they’ve done today is stay in bed, talking quietly, having lazy sex in between dozing, and snacking in between. When dinner time rolls around he reluctantly puts on boxers, she puts on his shirt, and they make their way to the kitchen to make an easy meal of breakfast for dinner.  
  
They shower, which consists of mostly touching until the water turns cold, and then it’s back to bed, but not before she grabs a bottle of wine. They pass it between them freely and soon everything he says makes her giggle, and her head is down, resting low on his stomach as she lies sideways. One of his hands is lazily stroking through her hair, and he starts humming something, which makes her giggle a little more until she realizes what he’s humming, and she sings a few bars with him once she knows where to jump in.  
  
 _Well I'm standing on a corner_  
in Winslow, Arizona  
And such a fine sight to see.  
It's a girl my Lord, in a flatbed Ford  
slowin' down to take a look at me.  
  
He looks up, clearly impressed as she takes another drink of the wine and passes him the bottle. “You know, it’s not too late to write ‘Hotel California’ and sell it to The Eagles,” Juliet smirks, and he laughs, dragging a hand down his face.   
  
Putting the wine bottle on the night stand, he reaches down and pulls her over him. “I’ll take you to an Eagles concert when we get outta here.”  
  
“Oh, I’m more of a Rolling Stones kind of girl,” she hums before bending to kiss the debate right out of him.

 

**Day One-Hundred-Sixy**

When she’s not home by six, James saunters down to the motor pool and watches her clean her tools methodically. “You’re the cleanest damn mechanic I know, Blondie.”  
  
Juliet smiles without looking up, but he can see her dimples even in the fading light and he steps closer as she speaks. “Someone has to show these guys how it’s done. Place is a total pigsty.”  
  
“Place is a motor pool,” he smirks, though he does note that everyone’s stations seem to be a little neater.  
  
“You come down here for a reason?” she asks him, looking up from her tools with one hand braced on the counter and one on her hip with a smirk on her face like she’s got him pegged.  
  
“I gotta have a reason to come see you now?” He steps closer, into her space so that he has to look down to see her eyes.  
  
“Come on, LaFleur. We all know you’re just checking up on me,” she says, voice low and amused.  
  
“Actually, I came to see if you posted for that head mechanic position yet.” His hands are on her hips and she brings her arms around his middle.  
  
“Hmm, well, you’ll be pleased to know I did submit my very short resume. Which includes ‘treasure hunting with Captain LaFleur’.”  
  
James barks out a laugh. “You didn’t.”  
  
“I needed some padding, it was looking kind of light. Besides, ‘Mystery Island Time Traveler’ sounds like a Nancy Drew book.”  
  
He bends down a little to press his lips against the curve of her jaw. “Think you can pack it in? It’s almost seven, I’m hungry, woman.”  
  
Juliet laughs this time, smacking his chest half-heartedly. “Ever hear of bread and packaged meat?” She pulls off her gloves though, turns out the light above her station and reaches for his hand. “Let’s go home.”


End file.
